


When Fate likes to bitch around

by Yoyi



Category: Stargate Universe
Genre: F/M, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-25
Updated: 2015-04-28
Packaged: 2017-12-12 23:38:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 57,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/817382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yoyi/pseuds/Yoyi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Lieutenant Scott discovers that Dr. Rush is pregnant with his child he decides he must marry the scientist.</p><p>But then he remembers he is engaged to Chloe, and new opponents appear threatening to take Rush from him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In which some attempt of explaining happens

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kaworu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaworu/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Fate is a Cruel Bitch](https://archiveofourown.org/works/515341) by [Kaworu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaworu/pseuds/Kaworu). 



> This fic was corrected by Kaworu who wrote the fic in which this one is inpired.
> 
> You could say this is a secuel. I wrote this with her help (she is correcting the chapters so I don't mess up things and readers can understand my poor english).
> 
> I think it would be better to read first her fic.
> 
> I rated it as mature by possible strong language and future sex. And maybe a really unpleasant scene in which some character is cut open :)
> 
> Expect some OoC

Rush walked down the corridor with a feeling of someone watching him. He turned his head. Nothing. With a sigh, he continued his way to his quarters. He wasn't sure if Lt. Scott had understood that he, Rush, didn't want to marry, any less to a boy like him. Rush hoped Lt. Johansen was discreet enough to not let his... _problem_ slip. Then, he paused. Fuck. _Fuck_! What about the boy? Lt. Scott had a big mouth --he knew that very well, both literally and metaphorically.

 

Once in his quarters, with the door locked, he hit his head on a wall and moaned. This could not be happening. Not to him. He wasn't ready for any of this. Especially with all his workload with _Destiny_ repairs. He felt his frustration increase when he saw what looked like a gift on his bed. That damned boy. When the hell has he entered _his_ quarters? Without his permission, obviously. With another sigh, Rush took his radio, he needed to make things _clear_ to that boy.

 

“Lieutenant Johansen, this is Rush.”

 

“ _Dr. Rush, this is Lieutenant Johansen._ ”

 

“Are you still in the infirmary?”

 

“ _Yes I am. Is everything ok?_ ”

 

“Stay there, I'm on my way. Rush out.” He switched off his radio and went to the infirmary again to find Lt. Johansen and a very worried Lt. Scott. Scott was pacing up and down the place asking questions without stop to breath, and what Rush could get before Lt. Scott went silent as soon as the scientist entered were some really weird and stupid questions.

 

Surely, the boy heard his call for Lt. Johansen and was there to know everything was ok. Exactly what he thought the boy would do. As soon as Lt. Scott recovered from his arrival, he ran to his side. But before he could make it Rush gave him a glare which made him freeze.

 

“Lieutenant Johansen, Lieutenant Scott.” He said. “I need to discuss an issue I think might have been overlooked. I want both of you to be discreet about this... situation.” He stopped. The blonde woman nodded, but the boy, he had a confused look on his face.

 

“Why?” If Rush was drinking at that precise moment, he surely would have spattered all of the liquid. _Why?_ That damn boy didn't know why?

 

“Well, Lieutenant, this situation is very risky for me, and I don't want other people sticking their noses in my affairs. Surely you would understand that. I want to be left alone. Am I clear?” Lt. Scott was even more confused now.

 

“Yes, but. Why? Can't I tell this to Eli, or Ron? They are my fri-”

 

“Lieutenant.” Rush's voice was sharp, and his eyes were still in Death Glare Mode. “You should first talk to your fiancee, miss Armstrong.” The younger man went pale. Rush could hear him swallow.

 

“I'm with Dr. Rush on this, Matt. You should tell Chloe first.” Scott looked at TJ in disbelief. “Oh! Come on, Matt. She loves you, you love her, you two are engaged.”

 

“Ye- yeah. Sure. I love her.” Scott looked from TJ to Rush and to TJ again. “But...”

 

“But? There're no _but_ s here, lad. You go back to your lover and leave me alone with my life and everything would be perfect.”

 

“No!” Scott was alarmed. And Rush felt really tired of dealing with him. “I mean. Yes, I love her and all but... Jesus! You are going to give birth to my second son --or daughter-- and now I have the opportunity to be there to see it, to see him or her grow up.”

 

His speech was so naive Rush felt like throwing up. TJ, on the other hand, seemed amused by all of this.

 

“Look. I know I'm not the most handsome man on Destiny, but if you let me, I can be more-”

 

“Stop! I don't want to hear any more. I want you two not to say a word to anyone. Are we clear?” TJ made a noise. Rush glanced at her. She was struggling, uncomfortable. “What?” His voice was low and steady. 

 

“I... might have told something to Colonel Young.” In the blink of an eye, Rush felt all his strength gone and his world spin. Scott was there before his body touched the ground. TJ was on him too, helping Scott get him on a chair.

 

“Wh-what? Why?” TJ looked at him, sad. His own voice sounded so weak.

 

“I had to. Dr. Lam ensured me she won't let this slip in H.C. But I need you to understand that I have to report every... _illness_ on the ship. Not that you have one but your situation is uncommon, you agree whit that, don't you?” Rush blinked, slowly. He didn't take his eyes away from TJ's. 

 

“Well... as long as he doesn't want me in quarantine everything is O-” the door opened, stopping him. Col. Young entered and then closed the door. Rush shuddered, but didn't look at the man. Scott and TJ straightened at once.

 

“Colonel” they said in perfect sync.

 

“Rest.”

 

Then, there it was, the pause. One long and uncomfortable pause. TJ was looking at Scott, Scott at the Colonel, Young glanced at Rush and Rush... Rush just glared at the opposite wall with all his wrath. 

 

“I need a word with...” Young started but stopped when Rush snorted. “Rush, we need to talk about...” another noise from Rush shut him up.

 

“Colonel, I need to talk to you, too.” interrupted Scott. Three pairs of eyes focused on him. “I... ah. I wish to marry Dr...”

 

“Oh! For fuck sake! I'm nae gonna marry you.” Rush stood up. “ What I wanted to say had already been said. Not a word of this to anyone abroad the ship nor on Earth. Understood?” He was almost at the door when he turned and made eye contact with Young. “I don't want to talk about this. And won't talk unless it's with Lieutenant Johansen.” He left.

 

“Well. Colonel, I need your approval to the marriage.” Said Scott. TJ rolled her eyes in disbelief and the Col. frowned.

 

“I think you must convince him first son. You can't marry if you don't have the consent from the other party. Besides, weren't you going to marry Chloe?” Scott looked bemused.

 

“Yes, well. I love Chloe, of course, but I want to settle before the baby is here so... I think I must make a sacrifice.” 

 

Young shook his head.

 

“Clear your thoughts before you choose to do something Lieutenant. You may regret things later.” Then, Young left. Scott glanced at TJ, who frowned.

 

“I'm not siding with you, Matt. I'm sorry, but I agree with Dr. Rush. You two... That's simply impossible.”

 

Scott smiled at her. “Don't worry, TJ. I'll conquer him and we will be happy.” He was about to leave when TJ took his arm.

 

“I don't think you understand, Matt. There is no way in hell Rush will like you in that way, so give up. Besides, what good do you think marring Rush will do? Nothing. Stop being so stubborn, let it be. Leave Rush alone, and he may let you stay with the child. You'll be with Chloe, you will have your child, and everyone's happy.” Scott scowled and TJ sighed. “Look, if you insist I'll be forced to interfere. And you won't like it.”

 

“TJ, I don't want to fight with you.” TJ released him.

 

 

***

 

 

Rush was lying on his bed, one arm over his eyes, cursing and swearing. He always thought Lt. Scott was a little bit too traditional for his own good, but this, _this_. The boy was being extreme. He was fond of the boy, well, until _that_ happened. And he quite liked Chloe. They made a good pair, and now all that was messed up. It was Scott's fault and that damned device's.

 

When he knew how, he was going to destroy that aberration. Goddammit!! He wasn't prepared for all of this. He wasn't. He wanted a family, sure, but he already had one: _Destiny_ crew. He was fond of all of them, except Volker, he hated Volker. Well not much, only a wee bit. That man always got on his nerves. And Greer. He didn't like Greer. If he stopped and took his time, he only truly liked a few abroad the ship. And if he thought deeply he knew his real family was- No! He wasn't going that way. Not now. He didn't want to think about it now. Maybe later...

 

“I want to wake up from this nightmare” he whispered hopeless.

 

Colonel Young knew. _He_ knew. And he was likely to end up being locked up in quarantine. Even if his _disease_ wasn't contagious. He took his t-shits off and glanced at his abdomen, still flat.

 

“So, now, I'm pregnant.” One look at the watch. “Better to catch some sleep.” Under the blankets, he let his mind wander around mathematical formulas. The sleep came eventually. Exhausted as he was, he wasn't aware of the door opening, nor the sigh of relief from the person who entered

 

He had a dreamless sleep and woke up at the same time he did every day. In the dim light of his quarters he could see someone on his couch, his or her breath steady. He or she was asleep. Rush frowned and let the last blur of sleep fade away before getting out of bed. Even without looking he knew it was Lt. Scott. Not wanting to wake him up, he dressed up quietly. Then, he took his blankets and covered the sleeping man with them.

 

The stupid boy looked like a pet, and he didn't felt so angry anymore. Actually, he preferred it when the boy had his mouth shut, or when he was with his girlfriend. It was not as if he was a bad man, but he felt bad for Chloe. Damn! They where made for each other, what was his role in all of this? 

 

Ah! Yes, the couple breaker.

 

He left, dreading the moment the younger man decided to wake up. And he had a lot to do to catch up on his work. As always, he went to the mess hall. And same as the last few weeks he felt the irresistible impulse to spew his guts out. He hurried up to the nearest bathroom. He felt the dinner from the day before get out of his body just in time to be thrown up in the toilet.

 

Half an hour later, he was still bended over the W.C., gagging, sometimes spitting bile. He was found by TJ, who hurried to help him.

 

“Goddammit, Doctor! You should have called if you weren't feeling well.” She said, stroking his back in gentle circles.

 

“How...?” He couldn't continue, another fit of nausea attacked him. She pulled his hair out of his face without stopping the massage on his back.

 

“Matt called me a few moments ago. He was panicking because he couldn't find you.” She explained. Rush nodded.

 

They were like this for another couple of minutes, in silence. Scott called TJ on her radio, but she didn't answer until she was sure Rush could manage without her help. She told Scott everything was OK, he didn't need to worry, and she sent him to bed. Then, she helped the scientist up. Rush was slightly pale, but he wasn't trembling anymore. Her lips formed a tight line of worry.

 

“We are going to the infirmary.” At the face Rush made she switched from medic to Lieutenant. “It's not a request, it's an order. I want to see what you can eat and keep in your stomach. It's important for your health as well as...” She did a vague gesture to his torso.

 

With a grimace he pointed at the open door. “After you, Lieutenant.”

 

***

 

 

Eli stormed into the infirmary, waving his arms, making requests and not making any sense at all. TJ shut him up with a glare. The boy went still.

 

“What is it, Eli?”

 

“Is it true Rush is ill?” Eli looked concerned. The woman nodded.

 

“Yes. More or less. Why? Do you need him?” Eli fidgeted a little.

 

“Well... hmm... I had a short chat with Matt a few minutes ago...” The boy glanced towards a bed with curtains closed around it. “He told me that Rush is having aftereffects from some kind of device that attacked him a few weeks ago.” His brown eyes were fixed on TJ's now. “Is he going to die?”

 

TJ couldn't help a laugh. “Heavens, Eli, no. It's not like that. He only has... a parasite.” That didn't reassure the young man. “It's not as bad as it sounds. Right now we can't take it out of his body, so we'll have to wait until it's big enough.”

 

“Ah...” Suddenly, Eli closed the door and approached TJ, adopting a confident tone. “Look, what Matt told me was really weird, and from what you are telling me I can only come with the most strange conclusion I have ever thought of, so I hope you'll tell me I'm wrong and laugh at it so hard Rush kicks us both out.”

 

TJ was surprised by his words. “Whatever you mean?”

 

“I... I think...” He rubbed his hands. “Is Rush pregnant?” TJ went blank. What? Eli was saying... What? Why on Heavens did Eli come to _that_ conclusion?

 

“Eli...”

 

“No. Just tell me.” And before she could open her mouth he spoke again. “Better, tell me I'm crazy and that's impossible, as Rush is obviously a man and men can't get pregnant.” TJ sighed.

 

“Even if it were true, which is improbable, I wouldn't tell you a word. Patient confidentiality, remember?” Eli nodded, worried again.

 

“So he is.”

 

“Wha-?”

 

“Improbable, _not_ impossible.”

 

“Jesus! Eli, what the hell did Matt tell you?” TJ hoped Matt didn't tell anybody else. Eli made a face.

 

“Just... That some weeks ago a device turned on, and when he tried to investigate it Rush found him and it threw him to the floor.” Eli stopped, and made another face. “Then, he was suddenly... _attracted_... to Rush, and then one thing led to another...” A shiver run over him. “He didn't say anything else, and I can imagine the rest.”

 

TJ rubbed her face. This was getting so complex.

 

“Ok, Eli. Don't tell a soul.”

 

“As if anybody would believe me.”

 

“Yeah... But... Look, he is very upset, and I don't think stress is good for him. If Dr. Lam was here things would've been different, but she is not, and this is my first... time in a situation like this. So, I don't really know how to deal with this. And... Can you do me a favor?”

 

“Sure, what is it?.”

 

“Watch over him.” She left. Eli was left there, without nothing to do except to stand on his feet. TJ came again. “And don't let Matt disturb him. He has this weird delusion of having his hand in marriage.” Then, she left again.

 

Eli sighed, not sure of what to do. Hesitant, he went to where Rush was resting. At first, Eli thought he was faking, but then he could see the exhaustion on his face. If it wasn't for the movement of his chest, one could think he was dead. Eli took a chair and sat down near the bed.

 

Invariably his eyes were drawn to Rush's stomach. One lone blanket was over his legs, and his own hands rested on his abdomen. Feeling like a kid entering the haunted house of the town, Eli put his hands on the bed, and slowly he began to lift the t-shirts the man was wearing. Pausing only to be sure he was still asleep, carefully he brushed his fingertips over the now bare skin.

 

Suddenly, a hand griped his wrist, startling him.

 

“What are you doing?” Rush's voice sounded sleepy and he had only one eye opened. Eli felt his checks get hot.

 

“Nothing.” He tried to take his hand back, but Rush held it still. “Um...” Rush's gaze was locked on his own. Slowly he fully opened his eyes.

 

“What?” Eli was uncomfortable, feeling his face flush further. He could feel Rush's heat from his grip on his wrist. The younger man opened his mouth a couple of times, not knowing what to say. His eyes flicked from Rush's face, to his hand to his bare abdomen.

 

“I... Can I...?” Eli thought that if he blushed further, then all of his body would end up red. He took a short breath before asking. “Can I touch it?” Rush released him then looked at him with curiosity.

 

“What do you want to touch? There's nothing to touch.” Rush knew he knew, and didn't seem to mind.

 

“Uh... Yeah, not still...” Rush tilted his head a little, then leaned on his elbows. One of his hands pushed up his t-shirts to bare more skin. This same hand took one of Eli's and put it over his stomach. His skin was warm, his muscles firm and he couldn't take his eyes away from his body. He giggled nervously. “I can't feel anything”.

 

“That's because it must be really small.” Rush had had a chat with TJ and now was when he started to comprehend that _he was_ indeed _pregnant_. And sharing the feeling with another human being was relaxing. Rush was searching Eli's face, not sure of what he was looking for. Maybe repulsion, fear, disgust. But Eli was in awe only looking at his body, as if it has a magical solution to all the problems of the entire existence.

 

Eli's hand was trembling under his, maybe with at least excitement. They both were so focused on their own thoughts that no-one heard the door open, nor Lieutenant Scott's yell. Their intimacy was broken when the Lieutenant threw himself on Eli, making them both go to the ground. With sharp, fast movements Scott pushed Eli to a wall, where he pinned him, making it impossible for the mathematician to move.

 

“Don't touch him. Don't.Touch.Him” Scott's face was only inches from Eli's. Eli could see blind rage on Scott's eyes, and that freaked the hell out of him.

 

“Shit! Matt, release Eli!” TJ came in running towards them. Scott looked frantic. Rush was startled, and had moved from the bed, away from the Lieutenant.

 

“He was touching him.”

 

“I don't care. Release him.” Without taking his eyes from Eli, Scott loosened his grip on the other and stepped back.

 

“You can't touch him” He almost cried.

 

“Why?” Eli thought he just signed his own death sentence.

 

“Because he is mine.” The answer was possessive and childish. Scott looked at Rush now. “You are mine, aren't you?” Scott had tears in his eyes. To Rush, he looked like a puppy, crying in fear of being left alone. Rush rolled his eyes.

 

“You are a pain in the ass. Stop crying and make up with Eli before he decides to depressurize your quarters with you in there.” Then, the scientist left growling something about dealing with kids.


	2. In which confusing things happens

 

 

Rush was heading to the Bridge as he stumbled on someone. They didn't collide only because the other person dodged him. Rush was so focused on some data to make Eli's idea of dialing Earth safer, especially in the process of recharging inside a star that he didn't even hear the footsteps. But he did look up when someone called him.

 

“Dr. Rush, I was looking for you. Where have you been these past few days? Nobody could contact you, even on the radio.” Rush swallowed as he recognized the voice's owner, Chloe. This was awkward. True to their word, none of those who knew about his condition said a word. Hence, Chloe didn't know he was pregnant with the child of her boyfriend, to whom she trusted to marry.

 

“I was... busy,” he said. Chloe looked at him with surprised eyes.

 

“Yes, but you could at least have said a word, couldn't you? I thought you were ill and on the verge of death.” She touched his bicep. “You are not sick, right?”

 

Rush felt guilty. She was going to want him dead more now than when her father had died. Because this time Rush was really at fault.

 

“Well, no.” He cleared his throat. “Did you need something from me?”

 

“Ah! Yes. I wanted to talk about those formulas Eli and you are working on. I think I could be useful.” She smiled. Rush mirrored her.

 

“You are right. I've been trying to finish this little one.” He gave her his notepad. They walked down the corridor, talking about maths, formulas and other stuff Rush was confident in.

 

***

 

 

Dr. Lisa Park had become used to darkness. Step by step she had memorized all of _Destiny's_ inhabited areas. Now she could recognize everyone by their footsteps and smells. She liked it. It was true that she missed seeing things, but she enjoyed her new abilities. However, there was a thing she liked to keep to herself: she could sense people's moods. It started a few weeks ago.

 

Lisa was walking with careful steps, as she always did, from the mess to the Apple Core. Lisa didn't hear the other person's voice, or her breath. She was very still sitting on the floor. If Lisa hadn't sensed her, she would likely have stepped over her legs and ended up on the ground. She felt sadness, so she stopped.

 

“What happened?” she asked. Though Lisa could not see, she could feel her, so Lisa turned her head to her.

 

“Oh! Lisa, sorry.” It was Chloe. “You almost tripped over me, sorry.”

 

“It's ok, I smelled you so don't worry.” Which she didn't. “So,” she continued, sitting down next to her, “what happened? You seem down.” Lisa didn't see the confused look in Chloe's eyes before the girl put on a cheerful face.

 

“Nothing. I was just thinking. I had a... uh... argument with Matt.” Ouch! That sounded bad.

 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

 

Chloe nodded. Lisa waited. Then Chloe realized, embarrassed, Lisa couldn't see.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Ok, I'm listening.”

 

Chloe hesitated, thinking how to begin.

 

“Well. About a couple of days ago he started to act strange.”

 

Lisa nodded, encouraging her to continue.

 

“He was... sort of paranoid. And now he is watching every move Dr. Rush makes. As if stalking him or something.”

 

Lisa frowned. “That's strange. Unless the Colonel asked him to keep an eye on Dr. Rush.”

 

“No, Lisa, it's not like that. He doesn't give Colonel Young reports about him. It's different.” Chloe sighed. “Well, that's not the point.”

 

“Then, what's the point? What's wrong?” Lisa moved a hand, searching for Chloe's arm, and when she found it, she gave Chloe's hand a soft squeeze.

 

“Erm... Well, this is awkward.” She paused again. “He told me that he's going to be a father again.”

 

Lisa felt a weight in her stomach. “What?”

 

“Yeah... I know...”

 

“H-how... Who?”

 

“He didn't say. Apparently she doesn't want anybody on the ship to know. Stupid, though, we will know who she is when she gets ample proportions.”

 

Lisa nodded.

 

“And then, I'll peel off her skin.”

 

Lisa choked. “What? Are you serious?”

 

“Maybe, maybe not. I don't know. What I know is that that bitch is gonna pay for stealing my boyfriend.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Chloe's voice saddened. “Matt wants to marry her. He wants to be there for the baby.”

 

Lisa put her arm around Chole's shoulders and hugged her. “It's ok. The Colonel won't let it happen. He knows how you two love each other and he won't let anybody break your relationship.” She only said that to reassure Chloe, though she didn't know to what extent the Colonel would want to get mixed up in their business.

 

“Yeah... I suppose.”

 

They heard footsteps and murmuring. From a corner emerged Eli, absorbed in reading from a notepad.

 

“Hey, Eli,” called Chloe. Eli stopped and looked at the girls.

 

“Hey, Chloe, Lisa.” He glanced both sides of the corridor. “What are you two doing down there?”

 

“Nothing much. Just talking.”

 

Eli nodded.

 

“Eli... Have you seen Matt?”

 

Eli swallowed. “Eh...”

 

“So you have.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Why so nervous, Eli?” Lisa asked. “Did Mathew tell you anything about the baby?”

 

“Baby? What baby?” Eli was trying to be convincing. Very, very hard.

 

“The one whose mother had an affair with Matt,” Chloe clarified. “And I believe she is still having it.”

 

“Are you saying there is a girl pregnant with Matt's child and she is actually having and affair with him?” Eli asked. “That's not possible.”

 

“Do you know who she is?” Lisa sensed confusion on the mathematician, so she believed that he was telling the truth when he spoke.

 

“Matt is not having an affair with any other woman on the ship.”

 

But Chloe had trouble believing him.

 

“No? She can't be from the Earth. You know that, we are all stuck in here. So if he's going to be a father again it's clearly because he cheated on me with some girl here.”

 

That made sense, but Eli's mood was convincing as well.

 

“Chloe, I can assure you, Matt has not left any _female_ preggerson this ship.” Eli was so sure of what he was saying that Lisa felt confused.

 

“Then... what was all that about marriage, the 'another child' talk we had? Was he messing with me?”

 

“Um... I doubt it. I think he is adamant about marriage.” Eli shifted his weight from one leg to another. Then bit his tongue, hard.

 

“So? Has he impregnated a male, then?” Lisa asked as a joke, trying to distract Chloe from the marriage topic. Eli's mood changed drastically. It was so violent that even Chloe should have felt it.

 

Eli took Lisa's elbow and walked away from Chloe so she couldn't hear.

 

“Wh-what? Th-that's not possible, Lisa. Are you kidding?” The boy whispered nervously and in a high pitched voice. Eli didn't think that was a joke.

 

“Oh my God! Are you serious, Eli?” Lisa couldn't stop herself. Her reaction made Chloe suspicious, and she made a few steps towards the other two.

 

“Hey... what are you two talking about? Do you know something I don't?” she asked, but they only walked further.

 

Of course, Lisa knew. She was used to Rush's mood swings, but then he had that aura about him. It was not difficult to get the truth from Eli if you knew how –Math-boy told her something along the lines of Rush having a parasite or that he had eaten a baby, which confused her, so she went straight to TJ after that, looking for more accurate answers.

 

In the infirmary she found Rush instead, and in one of his best moods, it seemed. So he, caught off guard, told her how _fate was a cruel bitch_ and that he was pregnant, too. Rush didn't mention the other parent's name, but considering how he swore and cursed at the army, she thought of Colonel Young. Who else could piss Rush off more than him? And they had this complicated hate-more hate-tolerant kind of relationship. But now...

 

“Lisa, don't jump to conclusions-”

 

“Eli! That's not right. Why hasn't Mathew told Chloe yet?” she confronted Eli. Lisa was feeling really angry.

 

“He can't! I told you! He can't! He only told me everything after I discovered it. Ok? And He promised me he would tell Chloe when he got permission from...” Eli cut himself before saying too much. Chloe was near now, pale as death. What had she heard?

 

“What is it Eli? I promise I won't tell. Please. What is happening?”

 

Eli sighed in frustration.

 

“I... I... can't tell you, Chloe. It's not my place to tell this. You... you better have another chat with Matt, ok? And if he still can't tell you, well, ask him to get permission.”

 

“But permission from who? From _her_? The _other_ girl?” Chloe didn't like to be left hanging. And they were doing exactly that. How could they? This was so important to her. Dammit! This was about her life, not theirs.

 

“ _Eli, this is Rush._ ” Eli's radio cracked to life.

 

“Eli here, what is it, Doc?” He tried to sound nonchalant.

 

“ _Do you know where Chloe is? I need her to see some equations. And I need you here on the Bridge. Your shift, remember?_ ”

 

“Eh... Yes, I'm with Chloe right now. We are on our way.”

 

“ _Hurry up, please. Rush out._ ”

 

Eli looked at Chloe. She looked back.

 

“Ok. We are not finished. We will discuss this later. Now, lets go and see what he wants from us.”

 

“Do you want to come along?” Eli asked Lisa before going. She shook her head.

 

 

***

 

 

Lieutenant Mathew Scott had never been this nervous in his entire life. In the blink of an eye he had gone from loving his beautiful and smart girlfriend to wanting to marry a man who could well be his father. Since that time they had shared his bed, Scott hadn't forgotten his warmth, his voice, his touch, his hands, the taste of his mouth, of his skin.

 

He had tried, of course. After all, that only happened once. But then he overheard Tamara talking to Colonel Young about bringing Dr. Lam. Immediately he told TJ what had happened with that device, and what that led to. TJ told him that Rush was pregnant, as strange as that sounded.

 

He knew he was the father of the child. He was sure. So he hurried to the infirmary and sat near Rush's bed and prayed. He wanted to be a dad, and when Rush woke up he knew crystal clear what to do: marry him. At that time he didn't consider that he was already engaged to someone else nor that Rush would turn him down. Now, the man didn't want to see his face and he needed his permission to talk clearly with Chloe.

 

Yes, he loved her. But still he wanted to be with the man. After _that_ time, Matt had become somewhat obsessed with him. Jesus! He even started to mumble Rush first name, rolling it on his tongue. And he liked how it sounded.

 

Still, he was nervous. Rush wanted to be left alone, but Scott needed his consent to talk openly to Chloe. He knew this situation was hurting her further than she allowed herself to show. God! He didn't want to make her cry. He was so confused. _What to do?_ He rubbed his hands on his pants – he was sweating a little too much -- before knocking at the scientist's door.

 

A noise came muffled by the door, a 'thump' first, then another one and a raspy voice swearing. After what Matt thought were hours, the door opened with a hiss and he saw the man wearing his trousers – still opened – and a short sleeved shirt unbuttoned. Matt didn't know that Rush even _owned_ a shirt what with all of the same t-shirts he kept wearing.

 

Rush, who was panting, looked confused, alarmed and a little sleepy. Scott felt guilty about waking him up –he looked like he needed the sleep-- and the thought of Rush rushing out of bed to answer as fast as possible was endearing to Scott. Especially if it was to answer his call.

 

“Erm... Sorry, were you asleep?”

 

The man looked at him, moving his head slightly, as if wondering what he was doing there. Scott caught better sight of his neck. Not that it mattered now but he wanted to bite... Focus. _Focus, Matt, focus!_

 

“What do you think, Lieutenant?” He didn't wait for an answer. “What's the matter? Is everything ok?” Rush's voice changed from venomous to worried in less than five seconds.

 

Scott felt like blushing, because now he couldn't take his eyes off Rush's naked torso. But the man was impatient.

 

“If you have come only to disturb me, you can go now. You've fulfilled your duty,” he said turning around, his hand near the button that closed the door.

 

“No, wait!”

 

Rush glanced at him. Scott hesitated. Then, he made up his mind. “Can I come in?”

 

Rush frowned and was still, silent, before nodding.

 

Scott shuddered when he passed the man and heard the hiss of the closing door. He licked his lips, feeling his mouth dry.

 

“And what do you want, Lieutenant?”

 

Scott watched Rush while he arranged his clothes. It hurt him that Rush called his Colonel by his surname or Chloe by her first name, but him by his military rank.

 

“Well, I discussed things with Chloe.”

 

Rush nodded.

 

“But I haven't told her all the truth.”

 

“So?”

 

“I... ah!... wantyoutoletmetellherwhathappenedbetweenus.” He said all of this in one breath, as fast as he could. Rush looked hesitant. Scott couldn't tell if it was because he didn't understand what he just said or because he was thinking about the answer.

 

“Ok. Tell her whatever you want. Just pick the best moment, because right now we need her focused on the equations she, Eli and I are running if you ever want to go back to Earth safely.”

 

Scott nodded. He was about to go when he stopped, then looked at Rush again.

 

“Dr. Rush... I... uh... I want to apologize for all of this.”

 

Rush's eyes were dark in the dim light of his quarters.

 

“Em... Can I... touch... you?” Scott looked hopeful, with big pleading eyes.

 

Again, Rush could clearly see him as an overgrown puppy. He sighed, then sat on his couch.

 

Rush thought he, maybe, was being too nice to the boy. Lack of sleep. It had to be lack of sleep. Strange, he was usually grumpy when he didn't have enough sleep.

 

“Come.”

 

Scott sat next to him. Then, slowly, he reached for Rush's body and put his hand over his stomach. Even without clothes one couldn't see it, but at touch you could sense the smooth change on his belly. It wasn't flat anymore.

 

Scott let a moan of pleasure get out of his throat. He was so focused where he had his hand that he didn't see how Rush was looking at him. And this was for the better, because if he had been aware of that kind of intense stare he would surely blush violently – or lose control over his actions.

 

Without knowing, he started to caress Rush's abdomen under his hand, moving his thumb back and forth...

 

...which surely had annoyed the scientist because, suddenly, he stood up and punched Scott in the face, sending him to the floor. When Scott looked up he seemed, as he thought, irritated.

 

“Get out. Now.” Rush said.

 

Scott left.

 

***

 

 

They were in the infirmary, in TJ's office. Dr. Lam was using the Lieutenant's body to tell Rush how his own body will change, pointing out the obvious and adding some more frightening changes and the possibility of a caesarian operation. It was not that he wanted to have to carry that baby the rest of his life, but he didn't like to be cut open. He still had nightmares about being cut open, twice. And that made him feel anxious.

 

Also, she told him that he would have mood swings, though he was like that before. There was a possibility that he may need to release certain tension so she recommended masturbation. When she left, Rush went to a storage room where he had piled tools over a table earlier. He had been working on the device which had caused all this trouble.

 

It was important to know how it worked. What it did was clear by now, but he wanted to know more. Would have Scott been the one pregnant if he had taken him and not the other way round? How was it possible for that thing to make a human male body produce an uterus — if what he had could be called that. So now, he was searching the database about that device. He still hadn't found anything specific about it, and was frustrated.

 

Absentminded, he started to caress his abdomen. And now, alone with his thoughts and the hum from FTL, his mind was free to think about whatever Rush himself didn't want to think. Family. Yes, he had had a _family_ once. Yes, for some months he had started to think about some of the crew as family. But what he considered, _who_ he considered his family was long gone.

 

Gloria mentioned her desire of having children. When she told him she wanted to have kids, he almost chocked on his coffee. The idea had both terrified and exited him. In the end, they couldn't make plans for that. And now, _now_ , he could have what his wife had desired.

 

“I haven't thought of a name for you. Well, not until a few days ago. It's perfect for you. I hope I can give it to you.” he whispered in the quiet room. “She would kick me for picking it, but it'll suit you.” _It had to._ Rush blinked. He had tears in his eyes. “Great! The mood swings.” He glared at the device. “It's your fault, stupid machine. I'm going to decipher whatever you had done to me, and then I'll destroy you.”

 

Rush sat down. He needed a hug. No, not a hug. What he needed was human contact. Even Greer or Volker would do. Just a bit of human heat, a shoulder to lean on, a compassionate ear. Companionship. He looked up at the device.

 

“It's your fault. It's your fault, stupid machine.”

 

***

 

 

Colonel Everett Young was sitting in a briefing in Homeland Command. He was bored. General O'Neill seemed bored too. His friend, David Telford, was writing in his notebook. Or at least, that was what he thought, because when he peeked over his shoulder he saw clearly what looked like all of the SG personnel who where present in cartoons. David was focused on his drawing not listening to a word some scientist was saying about _Destiny's_ crew, how to take them home or how to dial the ship without blasting an entire planet.

 

He swallowed a chuckle. His own cartoon looked as bored as he felt. Finally, Gen. O'Neill called the briefing off. Young stood up as fast as he could, wanting to get away from that boring scientist whose name he didn't remember. David followed him, after closing his notebook. 

 

Young needed a coffee.

 

“Hey, Everett.”

 

“David.”

 

Telford took a cup of the dark brown liquid.

 

“How are things aboard?”

 

Young sighed, taking a cup for himself.

 

“Well, things could be better.” He sipped. “Right now we have an... unusual situation.”

Telford gave him a look.

 

“Really? What has he done now?”

 

Young froze, dumbfounded. “Who?”

 

Telford smiled at him.

 

“Who else? Rush. He must have done something. He always does.”

 

Young sipped again, taking his time. “I don't think it's his fault. At least, not entirely.”

 

“Really? Whose fault is it then? And, what happened?”

 

Young winced. “One of my men was investigating. There was a device. It reacted. Rush came to see what was going on, and then, things got messed up.”

 

“Messed up? As in...?”

 

“Trust me, David, you don't want to know.” Young finished his coffee and went to the room where the stones were stored.

 

When he opened his eyes, in his own body, he saw Lt. Scott right beside him with a strange look on his face.

 

“What is it? It's everything alright?” The ship looked fine, no tremors, still in FTL.

 

“Yes, Colonel. It's nothing, really.”

 

Young took that as a personal matter.

 

“Very well. I'm going for a walk,” he informed. The younger man nodded, looking disturbed. “If you feel like talking to me, you are more than welcome.” Young offered.

 

“Thank you, sir. But I must do something first.” The Lieutenant gave him a rueful smile. Young let him go.

 

Young went for a walk, just as he told Scott he would. His footsteps led him to less crowed areas of the ship. He checked the hour. In forty minutes he was meeting with Camile to talk about the briefing, and hell if he wanted to remember about that boring torture.

 

Young stopped. He didn't recognize this area. True, it was similar to the rest of the ship, but this one looked abandoned. He was about to turn around and go back when he heard noises, a clatter. Taking out his pistol, he walked silently now and went where the ruckus was coming from. He saw an open door. With his back on the wall he looked inside, silent as death.

 

Inside the room was a large table, full of tools both terrestrial and Ancient, settled in semi-circle around a device. From his position he could see three of the corners in the room. The sounds were coming from the fourth. Kneeling slowly on the floor, he took out his knife and used it as a mirror.

 

All the tension he was feeling came off with a sigh of relief when he saw Rush's back. _Jesus Christ!_ That man just took some years from his lifespan. Then, Young frowned. What the heck was Rush doing there, alone?

 

He stood up, put away his knife and pistol, and entered the room.

 

“What are you doing?” He saw Rush's shoulders tensing in seconds, but he didn't turn.

 

“What do you think, Colonel?”

 

With a better glance at the place, he saw the console where Rush was working.

 

“I don't know. That's why I asked.” Young looked at the device. “Is that the thing that...”

 

Rush looked at him, finally.

 

“Yes, yes it is. So you better not come near it. We wouldn't want another... _accident_ to happen, right?”

 

Young's eyes went straight to Rush's. The scientist narrowed his own.

 

“No, we wouldn't.”

 

Rush snorted, then went back to the console.

 

“Have you found something about it yet? Anything?”

 

“No, Colonel, I haven't.” The scientist pinched the bridge of his nose, holding his glasses in the other hand. “The only thing I have found is what I already know.”

 

“Which is?”

 

“That thing's sole purpose is to ensure the survival of the race.” Young heard Rush's sigh of frustration. “I don't know how it works, what turns it on and off...” he almost mumbled the last part”... how to destroy it.” Silence fell in the room.

 

“Rush...”

 

“What?” The man tensed again, at least looking at him this time. “What do you want? I can't do anything about this. I can't-”

 

“Rush! Shut up, please, and listen to me, would you?”

 

The scientist nodded.

 

“Look, I won't lock you up, if that's what you're afraid of. I only want to know how things develop. On behalf of the crew, for their sake. If you wouldn't be able to do your job, then I have to know so I can make adjustments.” Young was trying to be reasonable. Rush narrowed his eyes, not trusting him. “It's not as if in your condition you could be a threat,” he added.

 

“Do you want to know how things develop? Ok then. I am pregnant. Me, a _man_. As for the rest, you only need to know the basics: the baby grows up taking nutrients and whatever it needs to survive from the mother, then it gets out and continues to grow.”

 

Young looked at him, surprised. Rush's voice was a mix of exasperation, disbelief and exhaustion. He saw the man close his eyes while leaning on a wall. Young approached him. When he was only a few steps away, Rush opened his eyes, looking at him.

 

“I'm having problems not to see it as a parasite in my current state of mind.”

 

Young nodded, taking another step, closing the distance.

 

“Or at least I had until that boy came with an outrageous request.”

 

“Who, Mathew?”

 

“No, Eli.”

 

Young blinked. They were one step apart now.

 

“And what did he want?”

 

Rush had a half smile on his face and tilted his head.

 

“Do you really want to know?”

 

Yes. No! Young didn't answer, his gaze fixed on those brown eyes.

 

“Give me your hand.”

 

He did. Rush's fingers brushed his skin, guiding his hand. Young felt the fabric of the t-shirt Rush was wearing under his hand.

 

The Colonel looked down where their hands were linked. Rush's abdomen. Young could sense the soft curve of his stomach.

 

“One might think you are eating more now,” Young whispered looking up again. Rush was looking at him with an intensity he had never seen. One teardrop fell from brown eyes, startling Young. He wanted to ask what happened to make him cry.

 

Young tried not to panic. He put one arm around Rush's shoulders pulling the now shaking man into an embrace. His other arm settled on the small of the scientist's back. Young could sense warm tears wet his neck. He mumbled reassuring words, trying to calm Rush down a bit.

 

The Colonel was thinking how things couldn't be more awkward when Rush hugged him back with trembling hands. Young thought that he was lucky that Matt wasn't anywhere near. If the young man saw this.... He could see Mathew doing something stupid, again. Rush sobbed. The scientist was clearly trying not to make any noise while crying, and Young didn't know what to do next.

 

 


	3. In which Chloe takes action.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Expect some OoC

“A-are you kidding me?”

 

That was all Chloe was able to say after hearing Scott's explanations. Her mind went blank, she couldn't feel the ground under her feet, air didn't come into her lungs. Because, even as what Matt had just told her sounded ridiculous, stupid, and even impossible, his face was too serious and worried to mistake it for a joke.

 

She made up her mind. First, she needed to trick Matt so he'd come closer and take him down. 

 

“I'm so sorry, Chloe. I didn't- Chloe!”

 

She lost her balance as if her legs wouldn't hold her any more. Or that was what Scott was supposed to think, because when he hurried to help her, she grabbed his arm and hit him hard in the face with her elbow, knocking him out.Luckily she counted on surprise factor. That and her training with Greer. She asked the Sergeant to help her after being cleaned of the blue stuff the blue aliens put inside her. She felt safer now.

 

Now, Matt would be out of the way for a while. And kicking his ass felt good after what he just told her. Oh, yes. It felt good. She was angry and confused, and that helped her vent.

 

“So, let's find out what's really going on,” she said, leaving her boyfriend on the floor. Chloe still didn't believe what Matt had just told her.

 

***

 

 

TJ was in the observation lounge, looking at the changing colors generated by FTL, when Lt. James called her on the radio. The 2nd Lieutenant had found Scott knocked out in the middle of a corridor. TJ suspected Rush immediately. _Who else would want to hit Matt?_ she thought. When TJ arrived at the infirmary, Scott had regained consciousness. He had a cloth under his nose. Vanessa was there, too, with another cloth in her hands. Apparently she was the one who gave it to Matt.

 

“What happened?” she asked while removing the cloth to see the damage.

 

“I talked with Chloe”.

 

“Mm hmm.”

 

“She hit me with her elbow.”

 

TJ tried not to laugh. She had expected some reaction from Chloe, but not this.

 

“And then she disappeared.”

 

“You don't know where she is?” TJ finished cleaning the wound. It looked worse than it was. She saw Scott shaking his head at her question. “Well, she might be looking for Doctor Rush. You know, to confront him.”

 

Scott froze, his eyes wide, and worry on his face.

 

“Uh... Mind to tell me what happened?” intervened Vanessa.

 

TJ bit her tongue. She forgot the other Lieutenant was there.

 

“Nothing to be concerned about,” Scott answered, sounding almost cheerful.

 

“Uh... Ok. I'll go do my rounds then.” She looked at Scott. “Don't repeat whatever you have done, and Chloe won't hit you again.” Then, she left. As soon as the door closed, Scott got up from the chair.

 

“Are you going to find them?” TJ asked.

 

“Yes. I don't know what she might do to him. And in his current state it would be dangerous. What if she hits his stomach?”

 

“Well, good luck. But I doubt Chloe will harm him.”

 

Scott nodded before he left.

 

TJ sighed. “This is almost like a soap opera.” She checked the time. “I'll go grab some food.” TJ was sure Chloe wouldn't harm Rush. Not now. Not after the blue aliens.

 

On her way to the mess hall she found Eli, playing with a kino, and Sergeant Greer. Greer saluted her, and Eli gave her a nod.

 

“What happened to Lieutenant Scott?” asked Greer.

 

“Nothing much. Chloe knocked him out.”

 

Eli chuckled at her answer.

 

“It's true. And don't laugh, Eli. It could have happened to anyone.”

 

“Yeah, sure TJ. I believe it.” Eli sounded sarcastic.

 

“Not bad, Math-Boy. When are you going to grow a bread and start talking with Scottish accent?” she responded. Greer laughed. She smiled endearingly at the aggravated 'Math-boy'.

 

“That's not funny.” Eli frowned.

 

“She has her point there. You're talking more and more like the good Doc.” Greer took his ration and sat down. Eli and TJ followed him. “But I'd appreciate if you don't turn into him. One of him's more than enough, thanks.” 

 

“You're only saying that because you don't know him that well.”

 

“Oh! So you'd have two of them walking freely around there?”

 

Eli scowled at Greer's words. Would he? No way in hell. But he didn't want to back off. However, the time he took to make up his mind was more than enough for Greer. He was grinning now.

 

“Thought so.”

 

Eli frowned and sighed. “Whatever.”

 

They talked about different topics, laughing and joking. Soon Camile joined their little group, and a few minutes later they started to plan the Game Night which was in two days. The games they usually played were from classic ones like tic-tac-toe to ones that the crew made up themselves.

 

“Scientist Safari,” said Greer. All of them went silent, waiting for further explanation. “Well, we split ourselves into two teams: hunters and scientists.” Greer was grinning again. Eli was confused, and the rest really interested. “And those who are scientists in real life can't be hunters.”

 

There it was, the trick. Eli swallowed hard.

 

“That's unfair!” said Lisa.

 

“Yes. It's unfair. What if we want to be the ones chasing after your, Greer?” asked Volker from Eli's left.

 

“Ok, ok. I'm sorry. We will do a lottery, okay? I didn't meant to annoy anyone.”

 

“No, you only wanted to hunt us.”

 

“Oh, c'mon guys! He's only messing with you. And you must admit this sound like fun. It'll be like playing tag,” said a female voice at Eli's right.

 

“See?” Greer was so full of himself. “Someone who really gets what I'm saying here.”

 

“Well Sergeant, we need to discuss the rules,” added Camile with a nod of approval.

 

Eli slipped out of the mess hall. When he was at a corridor he ran as fast as he could. He needed to tell this to all of the scientist team, specially Rush. Rush was the head scientist, so he'll be the Trophy, the one every _hunter_ would go at. Eli stopped. Why hadn't TJ said anything against it? She knew Rush's condition... Ok, Rush would never include himself in that kind of game, but he was sure they would want him in, because he was _the Trophy_ ,with or without lottery.

 

“I hope TJ comes up with something to get him out of it.”

 

***

 

 

Chloe had searched all the inhabited areas, the control room, the bridge, all the places she thought Rush could be, and some he couldn't, without success. Frustrated, she walked through corridors she barely remembered. Then, she got an idea. She started to run knowing her way.

 

Rush had told her that he liked to have his own space more than once. At first, that place had been the corridor were he went to think and work on formulas; most recently a storage room in a secluded area where no one went. He liked to work alone sometimes, so, being as he wasn't even in his quarters, he must've been there.

 

The closer she was getting to her destination, the slower she moved. Chloe's breath was short and fast from the running and the adrenaline. And now that she was this close, what would she do? What would she ask? She wasn't sure. She stopped completely to catch her breath. Chloe didn't want to look threatening. She was pissed at Rush, of course, but knowing how things have developed between them, Rush and Chloe herself, she wasn't sure if she hated the man or pitied him.

 

When she was only a few steps from her destination she heard noises and then a voice.

 

“... hell you are doing?” It was unmistakably Rush's voice with his characteristic accent.

 

“I-I'm sorry. I didn't meant to...” And that was another man's voice, which she couldn't recognize yet.

 

“You _are_ sorry? Don't be _sorry_ , just disappear!”

 

Chloe hid before the other man appeared in the corridor. He was in so much hurry to get away that he didn't see her, but she saw him. _Colonel Young?_ That was strange. What had the Colonel done to piss Rush off so much, to the point he needed to apologize? Never mind that, she had her own problems with the scientist and didn't have the time to worry about that now. Still, she spent a few minutes waiting, so Rush could calm down, before she approached the open door.

 

“Doctor Rush?” When she spoke, he was bent over a table, working on something she couldn't see. He looked up over his shoulder.

 

“Chloe? What's the matter?” He sounded worried, and still irritated.

 

“Um... We have to discuss something of common concern, I believe.” She saw no sign of comprehension on his face, so she continued. “Matt.” Now his face changed. But it was so fast that she couldn't identify what she'd just seen. 

 

“Ah... Lieutenant Scott...” He nodded, looked down, worked – or played – with some of the tools that were on the table and then turned around to face her. “So?” He seemed to be waiting for her to start.

 

“Well, yes.” Chloe cleared her throat. “We had an interesting chat about an hour ago, more or less.” Her hands were trembling. “He told me about some incredible... _events_ that had happened between the two of you.” Rush nodded, as if encouraging her to continue. “Is it true?”

 

“If it is true, what then?”

 

“That you two... had... sex...?” Chloe didn't want to look at him. She didn't want to see. She feared to see.

 

His answer was a whisper, almost inaudible in the hum of the FTL. “Yes.”

 

With long steps she closed the distance between them and slapped him. The sound it made hung in the air between them. Chloe's breath was shaky, her cheeks red with rage. Rush didn't move, his head still bowed to the side, hair covering his face. She fisted her hands in his t-shirt and shook him until he looked up, into her eyes. “Why?”

 

Rush snorted. “It wasn't something I had planed to happen. In fact, neither of us wanted it.” He took her hands and moved. “Do you see this device?” He pointed to the table, and she nodded. “Your boyfriend was toying with it. It reacted.”

 

“So that thing is the reason of your condition.” She was still really angry with the man. “How is that even possible?” Chloe looked Rush in the eye. How she wanted to feel nothing else than hate, but she couldn't. Not after seeing his expression. She sighed, still feeling anger.

 

“I'm trying to find out how, and why.” Rush felt her grip loosen. “I won't marry your boyfriend, Chloe.”

 

She chuckled sadly. “If he is still my boyfriend by now,” she mumbled.

 

“I won't marry him.” Rush spoke with self confidence. He wasn't going to interfere with them. Or so he tried. She nodded, releasing him.

 

“But he is convinced that he will win your heart.”

 

Rush snorted at her words.

 

“It's true! He thinks he will. And when I asked about us, he didn't know what to say.”

 

“He's just confused. Give him time, and keep him away from me.” Rush moved to reach the console. He pushed some buttons and then went to the door. “Are you going to stay there?”

 

“No.” She followed him. Before he could get away she caught him by his collar and dragged him into the room, smashing her hand on the door button. “But I still can't understand why you are _pregnant_ with Matt's child.”

 

“Neither do I,” Rush said, jerking free from her grip. “What do you want me to say? I'm sorry? Well, fucking yes I am. This is so fucking infuriating that I cannot release my anger at will. And you know why? That's bad for the _baby_.” He paused, his accent thickening by the second. “..shite...” He took a deep breath. “Look, Chloe, I cannae do a bloody damned thing about this,” he pointed at his stomach. “Except wait 'till it's born. And _that_ is sodding frightening. I'm a fucking _man_ , I'm not supposed to bear children.”

 

Rush collapsed near the door, sitting on the floor. He rubbed his scalp with one hand looking down. None said a word, Chloe looking at Rush, Rush's eyes shut. Slowly, she sat down near him. He was trembling, fighting, maybe, the urge to cry. _Was she being unfair? Did she have the right to be mad at him?_ she thought.

 

“How did it happen?” she asked, quietly. She saw his Adam's apple move as he swallowed.

 

“That fucking thing glowed, then I was on the floor, then your puppy was trying to help me, I think...”

 

“Wait... puppy?” Chloe interrupted half surprised, half amused. Rush looked at her with an almost smile on his lips, nodding.

 

“Don't say you can't see him acting like a puppy sometimes?”

 

Chloe nodded. She could. That was one thing that she liked Matt for. He was so cute and endearing that he looked like a puppy.

 

“After a blur he was _helping_ me... to take off my clothes,” he continued. Chloe wasn't so sure she wanted to hear that anymore. “His hands were everywhere... and mine too.” He lowered his head into his hands, his voice shaking. Then he looked up again. “I won't tell you more than that. Did I enjoy it? Yes, I did. Would I do that again? Hell no.”

 

Chloe was speechless. Not knowing what to say, her anger gone, she looked all over the room, then, at Rush again. This was when she noticed something that she hadn't seen before. Rush had a mark on his neck.

 

“Rush, what's that?”

 

“Uh?”

 

“Your neck, you have a...”

 

He moved a hand, touching his neck, searching. When he pulled it away from his neck, she leaned over him, putting his hair out of the way so she could see clearly. On his neck he had something that looked like a kiss mark with well defined tooth marks. She covered her mouth. “What was Colonel Young doing before I came?” Though they were alone, she was whispering.

 

“Damned bloody motherfucker, fucking idiot...” Rush got up, swearing. Chloe lost trace of the insults when his accent thickened again. “... minky basturt! Arsehole Young!”

 

“Wow!”

 

“He is so fucking dead. I'm gonna topthat knobdobber!”

 

So yes. Young had left _that_ mark on Rush's neck. _Wait, what?_ Colonel Everett Young _had left a hickey on_ Doctor Nicholas Rush's _neck?_ That explained why Rush was so upset with Young. _How_ the heck did Young get so near Rush to mark him like that? And, _why_ did Young mark Rush? That made no sense at all.

 

And for some really weird reason she felt bad for Matt. Because after someone had said that Colonel Young and Rush might have unresolved sexual tension between them, sometimes she could picture them together, easily. So, why did she feel bad for Matt? Rush wasn't cheating on him. Hell! It was Matt who cheated on her. With Rush.

 

She got up. Rush hadn't stopped swearing and now he seemed to be hyperventilating. That couldn't be good... he was... _pregnant_. Shit! All of this was so difficult to deal with. She could understand now why Eli didn't want to tell her anything.

 

“Doctor Rush, please, take it easy. It's not that big a deal and it will fade, eventually.” She held up her hands trying to appear reassuring. Rush looked at her.

 

“That's not the point, Chloe!” he snarled. “The point here is that I told him, I _told_ him _not to touch_ that damned thing!” At the confused look she must have been showing he tried to explain better. “He did this,” Rush pointed at his neck, “because he was affected by that.” He moved his hand to point at the device.

 

“How can that be?”

 

“I don't know! I don't know how nor when it turns on or off.” Rush looked desperate. “This is going to be so-” He stopped, one of his hands going to his temple, the other to the wall trying to steady himself. 

 

Chloe hurried to help him. He looked as if he was about to fall, so she prepared herself in case she needed to catch him.

 

“Do you want me to call TJ?” she whispered after a few seconds.

 

“No... It's just... vertigo. It's nothing. It'll go away.”

 

His face was pale, his eyes unfocused. Chloe wasn't so sure about him being ok, so she leaned to get his radio off his belt. At the same time, Rush leaned on her. She could feel his body trembling. That was when the door opened and someone gasped from there.

 

“Ch-Chloe?” said a male voice.

 

Oh God. She somehow knew how they looked from the door, so she knew what he must be thinking.

 

***

 

 

Col. Young was in the infirmary, looking over his lieutenant's shoulder.

 

“Colonel,” said TJ, “this won't go faster, no matter how intense you look at my work, so please, back off.”

 

He stepped back. Just after the incident with Rush he flew to the infirmary. Young wanted to know if he had been affected by the device. Though no-one knew if that would show in regular check-ups. He was worried. What if he attacked someone else? With horror he realized he and TJ were alone. What if he attacked her? He didn't want to-

 

The sudden ruckus outside made him lose his line of thought. TJ looked up at him.

 

“I'll go and see what's happening,” Young said.

 

When the door opened it revealed four people divided in two groups: at his left were Rush, Eli and Chloe; at his right was Mathew. Rush's face had a green tint, his pupils where dilated and he needed to support himself on Eli. Chloe was shielding both from Matt's wrath, who didn't take his eyes off Rush. The youngsters where almost yelling and didn't pay any attention to him. Rush, on the other hand, had been looking straight at him since he opened the door.

 

Young found himself not being able to tear his eyes from Rush's. He couldn't help looking down, at his lips. Rush's lips where parted, and the man was taking sharp breaths. After what, to him, seemed a lifetime Young caught some of the things that were yelled.

 

“...not touching. I KNOW DAMMIT!!”

 

“Then, if you know, STOP DOING IT!”

 

“Matt, are you _nuts_? I have already told you, HE CAN'T CARRY RUSH IF HE ISN'T TOUCHING HIM! And don't come any closer.”

 

“Care to explain what's going on here?” Young waited until the three stopped to breathe before talking. At his words they turned to look at him as if they just realized where they were and who he was.

 

“I'm sorry, sir.” Scott straightened. Young nodded at the Lieutenant.

 

“Well, let us go in,” Chloe snarled. She looked angry glaring at Young while she, Eli and a very disoriented doctor Rush walked past him.

 

Young glanced towards Scott, who didn't move an inch. The younger man had both hands fisted. With a sigh, Young exited the infirmary, closing the door.

 

“What is it, lieutenant?”

 

“I was looking for Chloe. We talked. She was upset.” Scott was tense. “Then I found them in a tight embrace.”Scott closed his eyes. “Well, not an embrace. But I felt insanely jealous and couldn't discern if it was for Chloe or.....” Scott didn't finish.

 

“What about Eli?”

 

“What about him?”

 

“You where having a disagreement.”

 

“Yes, well. I don't like him near Rush.”

 

Young sighed again. This was getting even more complicated. “Come with me, Lieutenant. Let's talk about it in my quarters.”

 

Scott nodded, following him. Young saw how Scott glanced at the infirmary door before leaving.

 

***

 

 

Rush wasn't feeling better. Dr. Lam was there using Chloe's body so she could talk with TJ directly instead of leaving each other notes. He refused to participate, laying on a bed with a wet cloth over his forehead and eyes. Eli was there too, explaining how to use one of the medical devices that were hanging in the room. Rush was startled when a hand bared his stomach.

 

With fast movements he took the cloth off of his eyes looking around him. It was Chloe's hand.Lieutenant Johansen had a strange tube in her hands and Eli was monitoring from a console. The three of them looked at him surprised by his reaction.

 

“Easy, doctor. We won't hurt you,” said Dr. Lam.

 

“Em..., doc, this is just like those things they use on Earth to see the fetus inside the mother.... You know, ultrasonography....” Eli was trying to calm him down, failing miserably.

 

“Eli had been working on this lately so we can have a better look,” explained TJ.

 

Rush nodded, eyes narrowed, full of suspicion. Dr. Lam smiled at him, then nodded to TJ and glanced at Eli.

 

The scientist relaxed once more – not entirely, though – and tried to listen to what they were saying. He was feeling nauseous and something he hadn't experienced in his whole life before this: vertigo.

 

“Is it... normal... to feel... dizzy?” he asked.

 

“Well, your center of gravity is changing, so you'll lose balance more frequently from now on.” Dr. Lam had TJ put the medical device over his stomach, watching a screen. She frowned. “Um. This is interesting. Lieutenant, please, move it to your left..., down... stop!”

 

Eli, TJ and Dr. Lam were watching the screen with different expressions: Eli obviously didn't know what he was looking at; TJ looked puzzled in a different way than Eli; Dr. Lam had a satisfied smile.

 

“There you have it.”

 

“What? What is it? I don't see anything.” Eli approached the screen, trying to decipher the image.

 

“Can you see that little flesh extension? The one connected to the rectum. That conduit will grow – I don't know if it'll be enough yet – and when the time arrives the baby will come through it.”

 

“So... Rush will be literally shitting his child? Ewgh!”

 

“Dr. Lam...” called Rush. “It think that will be-”

 

“Painful, impossible, ridiculous?” Eli cut Rush off mid-sentence.

 

“Yes, Eli.” Rush grimaced.

 

“Lieutenant, Mr. Wallace, could you, please, leave us alone?” Dr. Lam didn't take her eyes off the screen until TJ and Eli left the infirmary. Then she looked at Rush. “Doctor Rush, for this particular case I highly recommend that you do everything that is necessary so the baby can be born safely.”

 

“What do I have to do?”

 

“Doctor, there's high possibility that we will need to resort to surgical operation. I want to cling to the possibility, however minimal, that we won't have to do it.”

 

“Which is?”

 

Dr. Lam sighed before she answered. “Wait until the conduit is big enough. That might means you will have to bear the child from one to three more months. In that period of time, you will need total repose. As in: you won't get out the bed. With the evident exceptions.”

 

Rush stared at Chloe's face, blankly. He felt a shudder go over his body. He didn't know what to say, where to look. This wasn't what he expected. Somehow he preferred the cesarean now.

 

“Of course, there will be a point at which you'll need help to-”

 

“No.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“No, I... No. I won't.” This was becoming so surreal that he started to think he might have lost his mind. “That's not...”

 

“I'll leave you alone, so you can think about it.”

 

***

 

 

Eli was a curious person. He didn't like to eavesdrop on conversations but most of the time his curiosity got the better of him. He had left a kino inside the infirmary, so as soon as he was outside he ran to his quarters and closed the door. Making sure no one could hear what he was about to eavesdrop on, Eli connected the screen.

 

He blushed after the conversation was over. When he was helping Rush go to the infirmary he felt something different about the scientist. Maybe his body heat or his smell. He couldn't help sniff the air around the man. Why was that? He had been in other circumstances with Rush before and never had the impulse to sniff.

 

“So... Rush is gonna need some help.”

 

And for some reason Eli wanted to be the one who helped.


	4. In which gay stuff happens

**Yoyi's notes:**  Hello there! Chapter **WITHOUT** beta, meaning horrific English and confusing plot, so any correction or suggestion will gladly be accepted. Expect some OoC. I don't own SGU nor it's characters. This is for fans. Enjoy!

* * *

**4\. In which gay stuff happens**

"Stay still," TJ instructed Varro. "Can you feel it?" When TJ looked at him, he nodded. "Good. Look at this watch, count how much times you feel it withing six tics of that tiny pointer, the one which is always moving. OK?"

Varro nodded again and both went silent. After the six tics Varro looked at TJ. "Seven times."

"Very well. Then, you multiply it for ten, and that's it."

"Seventy?"

"Yes. At rest you have seventy pulsations, which is good. It's what it should be." She took something from the table at her back. "Now, let's begin with pressure."

Today was the day when TJ and other volunteers taught the crew's members the basics of first aid. Camile planned everything after a talk with TJ, Col. Young and some SG's Medics. For the day, she was teaching how to get the vital signs, how to treat some cuts and wounds and what to do when facing dehydration or heatstroke.

Chloe was nowhere to be found, even when she told TJ she should come and see. TJ figured out Chloe must be taking care of Rush – or that Matt didn't get too close to the scientist, more precisely. The thought of the girl shielding the acerbic man from the puppet-like boy amused TJ to no end. And maybe she would join that shielding thing.

TJ knew she was being cruel, but it amused her see Matt's attempts to "acquire" Rush affections and, truth be told, she liked to be the bad one once in a while.

Camile was there. She was helping with the Lucian Alliance's members who joined them with the language – they didn't knew the meaning of first-aid, for example – and socialization.

Eli, on his part, was too focused reading on a screen, searching for the use of new medical devices. At his side was Lisa, commenting what she heard to Math-Boy with a cheerful smile, who laughed from time to time.

Here was, also, Sergeant Greer, who was looking with narrowed eyes towards Eli and Lisa, but was focused on his tasks too. His group were learning how to stitch a self cut. TJ shook her head. It was so obvious Ronald was jealous of Eli and his proximity to the scientist woman, which reminded her that today was Game's Night!

"Oh, shit!"

Varro took away his gaze from what he was doing and looked at her, surprised to hear her swearing – Eli had been instructing them about insults.

"What happens? Did I do something wrong?"

"Eh?" TJ focused on Varro, a little lost. "Ah. No, not you. I forgot to tell something  _stupidly important_  to Colonel Young."

Varro nodded.

"If you need to tell him, I can manage from here," he offered.

"You are making me love with that," she answered with a smile. Nodding, she left back a very much confused Varro.

/0/

"Lieutenant."

"Colonel, I need to ask you a favor."

Young was surprised to see TJ in his quarters looking this agitated, panting, with her hair undone in some parts. "It must be a really big one," he nodded. "Tell me, TJ."

"Well, you know about today's  _Hunter's Game_ , I suppose." She stopped to breathe. "Well, I want you to allow Rush to be left out the game."

Young frowned. "Why would I...? Oh..."

"Yes, ' _oh_ '. I always can make up an excuse, but it'll be really suspicious since he has been going in and out the infirmary too much lately. I don't want to make panic arise. We are lucky it haven't happened yet."

"I understand. I'll see what can be done, Lieutenant. We cannot simply say he won't be in the game now, since he is the  _big prize_."

TJ frowned. "Big prize?"

"Yes. Sergeant Greer and Camile had a lottery and Rush won the biggest roll: to be the big prize."

"That sounds weird." She looked worried. "Maybe we can send a team to hide him until the game is over."

The Colonel nodded. "Yes, we can do that. He's sneaky, after all. It wouldn't be a surprise if no body found him"

TJ sighed in relief. One less thing to worry.

"Who will go to get him?" she asked before leaving.

"Mm. I can do it."

"I want to be on that team too."

"Fair enough. If something were to go wrong he surely will need your help."

She left then.

/0/

Lieutenant Matthew Scott was lying over his bed, hands on the back of his head, looking absentminded at the ceiling. He had a little chat with his superior, Colonel Everett Young. This chat helped him to relax. He had been really tense this past days and now he could feel all his muscles. A bit more of tension and he would develop muscle contracture.

Matt breathed in and out, with some kind of compass. Slowly, he closed his eyes, trying to focus in nothing.

"Rush is a person, not an object," he whispered like a mantra. He opened his eyes. "Rush is a person, not an object. Even if he was an object he wouldn't want anything to do with me, because I'm too young or I'm the wrong gender." Little by little his voice was saddening. "But I want to be with him."

Matt got up and started an impatient pace.

"But I like Chloe!" he snarled at a wall.

He sighed. Matt was too tired to deal with this anymore. Chloe wanted to break up, and Rush... well, Rush was Rush. He rubbed his hands over his face. He almost sank in self-pity when someone called at his door.

He opened, not wanting to talk with anyone, but not wanting to be irrespective either. He froze. It was Rush. Rush was there. Rush was...

Before the man could say anything he dragged him in and closed the door, then he pulled him into a tight hug, trembling with emotion.

"What are you doing? Fuck off!"

But he didn't move. Rush struggled in his embrace and he tightened his grip, making his hold stronger.

"Why are you doing me this?" asked the young man, almost a whisper. "Why are you being so cruel? Why can't we be together? Why can Eli be near you and I can't?"

"Bloody hell, boy! Can you release me, for fuck's sake? I can't breath!"

"Oh!" Matt stepped back, blushing. "Sorry."

"Whatever," said Rush, dismissively. "I want to confirm something with you about this, and please, don't do that again or I'll skin you, got it?"

"Yes, sorry." Matt looked at the floor, feeling his cheeks too hot.

For the next hour or so, they discussed about the effects the device produced and Rush analyzed everything. Matt lost track of what was the scientist saying when some strange smell came into his nose. It wasn't a disgusting one, rather, it was really appetizing. He sniffed the air around him without realizing, until Rush looked at him as if he had grown another head.

"What?"

"Do you want to help? Because if you are going to play like that I better go back to my..."

"No! It's not that. It was the smell."

"Smell? What smell?" Rush sniffed too, but he frowned. "I don't smell anything."

"No? Are you sure? I'm pretty sure that-" Matt cut in mid sentence, looking at Rush. He had a revelation. Suddenly, he leaned on and buried his nose in Rush neck, holding him with his hands. He inhaled once, twice, slowly. "It's you! You are the one..."

Rush wasn't looking at him. Rush was looking somewhere at the floor. Rush was slightly shuddering. And his cheeks were brighter than before.

Intoxicated by the mood, the smell and his own desires, Matt leaned again and inhaled, breathing over Rush skin.

"Don't... do that..." mumbled Rush, with the faintest hint of pleasure in his tone.

"Do what?"

When Rush  _finally_  looked at him, he had a strange haze in his eyes. "You know what..."

Matt kissed him. It seemed like the proper thing to do. He feared Rush would reject him, push him off. But he didn't. Rush didn't rejected him nor pushed him. In fact, Rush approached more, giving in the kiss, parting his lips so their tongues could start a sensual dance of friction and saliva. Matt swallowed a moan the scientist made.

The kiss grew in passion and Matt saw the perfect moment to show his possessiveness over the man. He guided Rush until they were lying on his bed, tangled, desperate. He touched everywhere, feeling his heat increase whenever he felt Rush hands over him. Oh, God! He had desired this for so long now. It was like a dream.

Rush exposed his neck to him and Matt took it, kissing, licking, biting. When he withdrew a little he saw a kiss mark that wasn't his and felt something revolt in his stomach. No! Nonono! No, Rush wasn't... Rush didn't... Who...? When? Why?

This moment of hesitation, of revelation, feeling  _betrayed_ , was long enough to make Rush come to his senses. He pushed Matt off him and got up, panting, fixed his clothes and hair the best he could, and was gone before Matt could think anything to say to make him stay.

What the hell had just happened?

/0/

Young was playing matchmaking, and he was really enjoying it. He got the names of the  _Hunters_  and  _Hunted_  for the game of this night and was  _playing_  matchmaking. For starters, he put Sergeant Greer in the same team as Dr. Lisa Park. Lieutenant Scott was, of course, with Chloe Amrstrong. He put TJ and Varro in the same team, too.  _His_  team.

It was going to be so funny. Camile was with Brody and Corp. Barnes. He was almost done when his first Lieutenant entered in his quarters. He looked worried. Like in  _really_  worried.

"What is it, son?"

"Colonel, I need advice."

Young nodded. "Close the door and take a seat."

When Matt sat down, Young got up and sit beside him, looking straight it his eyes. Matt's hands were shaking and he gaped before talking.

"I... Rush... we... It was so strange!"

"Calm down, boy," said Young while frowning. What had happened between those two. Some strange feeling got hold of his guts and squeezed his stomach, shrinking it. "Start from the beginning."

Matt nodded and took a deep breath before talking again. "I was in my quarters, thinking about what we talked earlier." He looked at his colonel, then averted his gaze. "Then, Rush came. He wanted to talk about the device and made me lot's of questions. We were just doing that and then..., and then... His... his... his smell changed and I couldn't... and he... and we... This is so strange! This is more than I can take. I can't continue like this."

"Matt, Matthew," called Young, trying to make eye contact. When he achieved it, he continued, "calm down. Ok? Breathe, that's it. Slowly, very good. Ok. Look, look at me. Tell me what did you two do?"

"We... we kissed. But it wasn't a chaste kiss in the lips, it was so hot and so... and I touched him, and he touched me and... and I saw... I saw it... In his neck. I didn't put it there." His puppy-like eyes were teary by now.

Young didn't know what to say. On the one hand, he was more than worried about his lieutenant, and was feeling guilty, after all, he was the one who put that kiss mark on Rush's neck. On the other hand, he was jealous of what just happened between those two. Maybe it was the device's fault, but he still felt jealous. He couldn't help Matt with this anymore. Not now, not after realizing his own messed up feelings.

"Don't worry, son. Everything will be all right," Young said, feeling like he was lying the young man.

Matt nodded, sobbing a little, sorrowful. He looked so pitiful, so helpless.

/0/

_Destiny_ 's bowels were silent and quiet. People should be sleeping by now, but they weren't. Instead they were playing "hide and seek", well a new version. In this new version they were forced to use all their skills to  _survive_. It was more like a war game. The hunters moved silently, searching for their preys. The hunted hid as well as they knew. The game will last until a gong sounded through the internal communications of the ship – around two hours.

Young's team were headed to Rush's quarters as soon as the game started. Without hesitation, they opened the door and entered. To everyone's surprise the place was empty.

"Wha...?"

"I told him," said Tamara, rising her hands to hide her face. "I told him to stay here until we arrived," she complained between her fingers. "I'm gonna kill him for this."

"Um. Maybe he went to somewhere else or didn't come back to sleep," pointed out Varro.

Young nodded in approval. "We need to find him first. We will split into two teams. TJ, you will go that way with Varro. Dr. Simms and I will go this way. If you find him before us, hide him and wait until the game is over."

They parted ways.

Tamara run as fast as she could doing the less noise possible, followed by Varro. They searched all room they passed by, almost frantic. Varro and Dr. Simms didn't know the real reason they needed to find Rush and hide him. Tamara told them that Rush had come health issue, nothing contagious, but something to take care of.

"Tamara, now that we are alone, I wish to know the real reason why you want to..."

"Varro, not now, please."

They found other groups, looking for "hunted", doing lots of noise. When almost all the hunted had been caught, Tamara and Varro gave up in searching for Rush, and went to the meeting place. It was almost full: hunters with their preys, hunters without preys. No sight of col. Young. Tamara didn't know if that was good or bad.

She assumed it was good, until Young appeared, looking around. When he spotted her, she saw his face close down, as if something bad had happened. She hurried to his side.

"Colonel, did you...?"

"No. Not a trace. Nothing. It's like he has disappeared in thin air."

Tamara nodded. About fifteen minutes latter, the gong announced the end of the game. The teams which could catch some hunted cheered, mixing with the cheers of the hunted who weren't caught. Even now, Rush didn't show himself.

Camile gave the prizes and a short speech about fellowship. More cheers. Still, nothing about Rush. When Chloe dimmed the light and music started, when no-body paid attention to the gateway, Eli came in, followed by someone else.

Young felt his heart skip a bit. It was Rush. Rush came with Eli. In fact, Rush was using Eli as support, with a hand holding one of the younger man's shoulder. He walked as if he couldn't do it properly, and that was, in Young's opinion, suspicious. They walk together, too close for his liking. They are hiding something, and Young want to know what is it.

After a few moments in which Eli talked with Chloe and was asked how did he managed to get away from the hunters, him and Rush slid out. Young follows.

Some corridors away, Eli spoke.

"So... Um... how are you feeling?"

"I'm good, Eli. Stop asking that, please."

"Yeah, but... yeah, I know, but... It's only that..."

"Eli, you promised to help me reach my quarters, right?"

"Yes."

"Then, shut up and help me."

When they arrived at Rush's quarters Eli stopped, looked at both sides and leaned to kiss the man. On his lips. Rush answered the kiss, but suddenly broke it and went inside his room. Eli stood there a little longer, scratching his head, not knowing what to do.

"Yeah, um... See you tomorrow," he whispered, not so sure of that statement.

Young retreated, too, going back to his own quarters. He was tired and wanted to sleep. All this day was so weird he wanted it to disappear from his memory.

/0/

Rush knew it wasn't just Becker's body as soon as he saw that smirk. He rolled his eyes.

"Colonel," he greeted before leaving.

Both colonels looked at each other, smiling. "You made him run away."

"Me? I didn't do anything."

"Oh, yes, you did. The fact you are on board is more than enough," teased Young. He motioned, inviting Telford to follow him.

When they arrived at the mess hall, Young got two mugs, one for himself, the other for Telford.

"Here you go, David. A nice, hot cup of coffee."

At his words, Telford took one of the cups, frowning. "This isn't hot. In fact, is so cold it's freezing me."

"Oh! C'mon, it's not even  _that_  cold," said Young, taking a sip. "It's a nice cup of coffee."

Telford tasted it and grimaced afterwards. "Bloody hell, Everett! It's  _awful_."

Young laughed. "Yeah, a cup of coffee," he offered, taking another sip. Telford mirrored him.

"Is it even coffee?"

For an answer he only had to look at Young's face to know. They both laughed now.

"If this is your thought of a joke, I think is good. But please, don't do it again."

"Can't promise."

After a comfortable moment of silence, Telford spoke again, "So, what's going on with Rush?"

"Uh?"

"I saw him... different. What happened?"

Young looked both sides, not wanting some indiscreet ears to hear this conversations. "I told you before, you don't want to know."

"Oh! C'mon, Everett, it can't be that bad. It's not as if he is..." he sopped in mid sentence, looking serious. "Everett, if you don't tell me now, I'll have to-"

"To what? It's better if you don't know, believe me. You will sleep better at night."

Telford sighed. "Ok, I'll investigate on my own."

"Then, I'll love the moment after you discover all, when I'll say:  _told you so_."

Telford laughed, taking another sip from his cup, still making a face of disgust, finishing his drink. He palmed Young in the shoulder and went looking for answers. Young wished he could follow him and play a little more, but he had other things to do, papers to fill.

/0/

Colonel David Telford had been a bastard with him as long as he could remember. He didn't know why, but that was why he didn't like the man, either. He always knew how to piss him off on Icarus Base. However, it was true that after Young got him back from the Lucian Alliance's mind control he wasn't so annoying. Until now.

Telford was smiling. At him. Pleased with himself. No. He wasn't smiling at him, he was laughing at him, a little smug. And that bothered him more than anything else.

"What do you want, colonel? I'm pretty busy."

"Yup, I can see that." He was still smiling.

God, give me forbearance, because if you give me strength... thought Rush.

"What on hell do you want from me?"

Telford chuckled before answering, "being self conscious, aren't we?"

Rush looked up from his console. Telford looked back, smile widening. Then, the colonel, took some steps forward, put a hand on Rush's shoulder to the scientist surprise, and said something that made him angrier.

"Congratulations,  _mom_."

"How the hell...?"

"You are not the first one I meet with this kind of... situation."

Rush slapped Telford hand, annoyed, angry and feeling a little murderous.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone," said Telford, "after all, your body will do that in time."

"Fuck off."

Telford left him, laughing a little. But before he could close the door, Rush threw him a kino, hitting on his head. Telford looked back, touching his head.

"Ah! Poor Becker, it'll leave a bump," Rush said, turning around, looking back at his screen.

/0/

"So, you are telling me that we need to protect him from not one, not two, but three people from the ship?"

"Yup."

"How did you know?"

"I have been watching him, and his surroundings. Matt's not the only one who's after him."

"Uh? Who else?"

"Colonel Young..."

"Seriously?"

"... and Eli."

"... Chloe... We need more help."

"I agree, Tamara," she paused. "What about Camile?"

"Mm... Let me think about this. See you latter."

"Ok. Bye."

* * *

**Final notes** : The cup joke. I took it from a joke of Watson and Holmes (BBC tv show).


	5. In which some love confession is made.

**Yoyi's notes:**  Hello there! Chapter WITHOUT beta, meaning horrific English and confusing plot, so any correction or suggestion will gladly be accepted. Expect some  ** _OoC_**. I don't own SGU nor it's characters. This is for fans. Enjoy!

 

* * *

  **5\. In which some love confession is made**

 

Chloe was looking how Eli manipulated some console, frowning. Sometimes, Chloe thought that Eli was such a cute boy. Right now it was one of those times.

 

“So, you are telling me that the device is making Rush do things he never would do in his right mind?”

 

“Yup, exactly that.”

 

“And how do you know, Eli?” She saw him swallowing, a smile on her lips.

 

“Well, I... ah... You see, during last week game...” He blushed.

 

“You two did something, right?”

 

“Uh...”

 

“Eli...”

 

“Yes, we did something. He wasn't acting as he normally do, it was weirder than usually.”

 

“In which way?”

 

“Well,” Eli turned his head, continuing with his chores at the console “, he... uh... He wasn't feeling well, so I proposed him to walk him to his quarters.” Eli stopped here.

 

Chloe mover forward, trying to make eye contact, but Eli was reluctant, so she encouraged him, “my lips are sealed.”

 

Eli looked at her with a troubled expression. “I might have done something very, very bad and Rush doesn't seems to remember anything from that.” _Or maybe he just decided to ignore it_ , he added to himself.

 

Chloe saw his concerned face. She was worried now. “Eli, did you to had se-?”

 

“NO!” cut him. “No..., well... not at leas... I mean... I... I might have... touched him... intimately, but nothing more.”

 

She sighed. “Eli, if he doesn't remember I think is better that way. Forget about it, try to carry on and don't...”

 

“I can't, Chloe. Believe me, these past days I have been trying to forget but I simply _can't_.”

 

“Uh?”

 

“I... I think it's the device. Maybe until Rush give birth this will continue like this, I don't now yet.”

 

“Uh... well... Better not to come near him, ok?”

 

“Yeah... I will try that...”

 

Someone entered the room then, cutting their conversation. It was someone sent by Brody to talk to Eli about something Chloe didn't pay any attention. After a few minutes, he went back to his work, leaving the two alone again.

 

“You said that Rush needed help to go back to his quarters. I remember he was walking in a strange way,” said Chloe, interested in obtain more details.

 

“Well, he was hiding. He knew all about the game: rules, the teams, time limits, even that the lottery had been obviously manipulated,” Eli sighed, then continued. “So he was hiding, working on the device...”

 

“Aha!” she suddenly said. Eli jumped on his seat. “Sorry. Didn't meant to scare you.”

 

“Yeah, well. Warns next time. As I was saying, he was there. We heard a noise and footsteps, so he grabbed me and we hid in the vents.”

 

“In the vents.”

 

Eli gave her a look. “Yes, in the vents. I don't know how he managed to get me in there, but he did.”

 

Chloe looked at Eli, still surprised. She didn't seem to believe that.

 

“And, when we were coming out, he hit his leg, loosed balance and ended on top of me. And, magically, the device fell into my head.”

 

Chloe giggled. While Eli protested she got closer to see the healing mark on his forehead. “How unlucky.”

 

“Yes, unlucky.”

 

Silence fell upon them.

 

“Well?” asked the woman.

 

“Well what?”

 

“Are you continuing?”

 

“Uh? That's all. He hurt his leg, so I walked him back to his quarters...” Eli blushed, maybe remembering something embarrassing.

 

“Okay. I'll let you go, for now.”

 

“Chloe, you make it sound as if I was being interrogated.”

 

Chloe chuckled while she walked away. She will need Vanessa to talk to Eli if she wanted more information. So Eli was hit by the device and now he felt something towards Rush. _Tsk, this is getting complicated_ , she thought.

 

/0/

 

 

“Ha... ha ha ha...” David Telford, inside the body of an Airman aboard the spaceship _Destiny_ , was trying and failing miserably, not to laugh at Rush on his face. He had just come again to check on the new situation, and since the last time he had been there, Rush had grew a new suitor. So it was difficult for him not to laugh.

 

Rush, on the other hand, had a really serious face. In fact, Telford could see his annoyance growing bigger and bigger.

 

“Cut it out, would you? You are annoying.”

 

“Sorry, sorry, Nick. This is just too... he he...” Telford covered his mouth with his hand to muffled the sound.

 

“What the hell are you doing here, anyway?”

 

“Just checking.”

 

“Oh! And can't you go somewhere else to check?”

 

“No, I'm checking on you.”

 

Rush huffed, saying something like 'bastard' and went back to work. Telford was having fun now. He had seen Lt. Scott glancing towards the scientist, sighing. You needed to be blind to not notice it. And it seemed more than half of the crew were. And there it was Mr. Wallace. He looked nervous, and always averted his eyes from Rush, but still looked at him peripherally.

 

This was, indeed, like a soap opera. But instead of a young, stunning lady, they got a cranky, moody, old scientist. And instead two middle-aged men, they got two youngsters with almost the same hormonal needs as two teenagers.

 

“So,” he began. “What are you gonna do?”

 

Rush looked up from whatever he was working on, slightly confused. “What I'm going to do about what?”

 

“Your two fanboys?” Rush grimaced at his words. He smirked. “Who's the father?”

 

“I _am_ the father, David. And please, _fuck off_.”

 

“Oh, please, Nick. Don't be like this. Tell me something more.”

 

“Fuck you, colonel.” And with this, Rush went back to work.

 

Telford left him alone. He was still laughing a little.

 

/0/

 

 

“He has big hands,” said TJ.

 

“Uh?” Chloe looked at the medic.

 

“Who are you talking about, Tamara?” asked Camile.

 

The three of them were in TJ's office.

 

TJ looked up from what she was doing. “Sorry, I was thinking out loud.”

 

“Yeah, but about whom?” asked Chloe, while Camile nodded.

 

“Mm... About Rush. Rush's hands are big.”

 

“So?”

 

“His wrist are narrow.”

 

“I don't get your point.”

 

“Ah... It's just a thought. His hands are big but his wrist are narrow. I mean, I have seen bigger hands, but never attached to narrow wrist. It's just... Nothing, a thought.”

 

“Oh! Now that you mention it... Yes, he has delicate wrist,” said Camile.

 

“No, not delicate, more like... feminine?”

 

TJ looked at the other women in awe. Really, what? She said that he had _narrow_ wrist, not feminine nor delicate. She supposed it was because they where looking for his female side, now that both knew about his condition.

 

The way Camile knew about it was really funny. Dr. Lam had been using her body to talk with her and Rush, then they dropped out of FTL, making Camile come back for enough time to overheard something. After she came back, she went straight to them. Rush had put a sour face while Camile had demanded to know, saying things like she was worried about him. That, TJ could believe. After all, they were close enough to call them by their first name.

 

Then, Rush nodded at her, and she told Camile the short story, omitting Matt's part in all of this. That was something Rush didn't want to spread all over the ship. In the end, Camile was with them. She didn't know what was Chloe's goal, talking about to “protect” Rush from his “suitors”. Maybe she just wanted to piss off Matt? But if that was the case, why did she want to keep Rush out of Eli's reach? And when one say Eli can say Everett, too.

 

TJ felt strange about that. In fact, she didn't know why she felt like that. Why was she bothered by the possibility of her Colonel liking Rush, liking anybody? _I must still feel something about him_ , she thought, _after all we had some unfinished business_.

 

“I need a nap, girls. I'll be back,” said TJ. Chloe and Camile looked at her and nodded.

 

“Okay, then I'll go check on some equations. My brain needs the numbers. Funny, uh?”

 

“I have a briefing in half and an hour,” said Camile.

 

They parted ways.

 

/0/

 

 

He didn't need to ask to know that David knew about it already. Only seeing his facial expression was enough.

 

“So, you know.”

 

“Yes. I still don't understand why you didn't want me to know. It's not that bad, after all.”

 

“Well... I think of it at slightly disturbing.”

 

“The fact that there's a man aboard that is pregnant?”

 

“No, not that.” Young hesitated before continuing. “The fact that _Rush_ is the one pregnant.”

 

Telford looked surprised. “You can't conciliate Rush and pregnancy?”

 

“It's more like I can't see Rush being a parent at all.”

 

Telford snorted. “And why is that? Is the fact that he prefers to be alone than near you? Because he is a very capable human being. It's only that he likes to act as a jerk.”

 

Young seemed unconvinced. “He _IS_ a jerk, and he can't even be polite.”

 

“Now, you are wrong there. Just think about this, if he is that bit of a jerk, that moronic, why was he even able to get a wife? How could he charm Dr. Perry? Uh? How did he managed that? No, it's only that he don't like you enough to show you his best parts.”

 

Young shoot him a glance, as if asking _and he did it to you?_

 

Thinking about it, Young found that if that was true, it hurt, a lot. He was feeling hurt by the fact that maybe Rush simply didn't want to be nice to him. That he could be nice to anybody but him. Hell! He even called David by his first name sometimes, even though he had killed him once – that time was really disturbing, having two Rushes on board.

 

_Am I feeling like this because of the device?_ , he thought.

 

Young scowled. “Why does he call you by your name?”

 

“Uh?”

 

“Why does Rush call you _David_? I mean, you two are easily on each others necks.”

 

“Mm... Maybe we are like that,” said Telford after a pause.

 

“What?” Young seemed confused, Telford chuckled.

 

“We are like frenemies. Not entirely friends, but not entirely enemies. I call him Nick sometimes, too.” He thought before continuing. “We knew each other before he got into Icarus. Me, Camile and Nick. Oh, and Dr. Perry. You were in the planet before he got there, he was under my care at that time. Half of the people on Icarus were. It's just that the most capable ones were sent there when it was all secured by you and your people.”

 

Young nodded. He knew that Rush and Wray had had some kind of history, but he never cared about it. Now, knowing it he understood something. For example, why she wanted Rush to help in the mutiny. Not only for his brain, but because they were acquaintances, no, _friends_. Or at least, looking back, he thought Camile thought that about her relationship with the scientist.

 

He heard Telford's laugh again.

 

“What?”

 

“You seem to be interested in him, Everett.”

 

“Wh..?”

 

“I mean, we have been talking about Nick recently. Is there something I don't know?” He gave him that _I know it, but I prefer to hear it from your lips_ glance.

 

“I hope not.”

 

Silence fell upon them then.

 

“I better go now,” said Telford standing up.

 

“So soon? What's the rush?”

 

Telford raised one brow in a mockery gesture, mouthing his last word. Young rolled his eyes in annoyance.

 

“Oh, fuck off, you prick!”

 

Both laughed.

 

/0/

 

 

Sergeant Ronald Greer was studying some stuff TJ had passed to him for the next day they where giving first aid lessons. Lisa was sleeping beside him, with her head on his lap. He knew that she knew what the hell was all that about Matt and doc, but she refused to tell him, or acknowledge his right to know. Maybe it was such a big secret it was better remaining so. But still he wanted to know.

 

Checking the hour he realised that his shift start in less than fifteen minutes. He hated it. He surely had to wake up Lisa, and she needed the sleep after doing whatever she had to do today, she looked really tired.

 

He got out their quarters and contacted Lt. Scott, they had the same shift.

 

When he met with his friend and superior, he saw Matt looking flushed and slightly nervous.

 

“What happens, man? You ok?” he asked.

 

Matt looked at him, with a worried glance. “Yeah, everything is all right.” It didn't look like all was ok, but Ronald knew Matt enough to know when questions shouldn't be asked.

 

“Let's get going, uh?”

 

Matt only nodded.

 

/0/

 

 

Eli had discovered something interesting. Well, not _that_ interesting, more like annoying. Eli had been stuck to him like glued since the night the crew played tags. It wasn't like Rush couldn't appreciate it, it was that he didn't want to.

 

He had made an error that night. Since some days before he had feel the need to be with someone, anyone. He craved for human contact, something that could keep him together. Eli simply appeared in the right moment. Yes, it had been the right moment, but, to his opinion, the wrong person. Still, he had taken the opportunity.

 

Eli appeared that time with the sole intention of informing him about the bunch of people who would try to catch him. They hid in the vents. No body found them. They were too close together, and Rush needed the contact. At first, Eli freaked out. Who wouldn't if someone several years your senior, with a cranky personality, that always was sarcastic and mean to you kissed you suddenly.

 

So, Eli rushed out the vents, almost forgetting about the game, and started pacing the room, chocking in his own words. Rush just waited there, hidden still, wanting to smash his head on a wall. After a few moments, Eli went silent.

 

“Rush? Are you there?”

 

Rush didn't answered. He was lying on his back, trying to make an excuse that would allow him to escape this embarrassing situation.

 

“Doc?”

 

Rush sighed, Eli was starting to freak out again, and for other reasons this time.

 

“Oh my God. What if I hit him? What if he is dead? Matt's gonna kill me!”

 

“Please, Eli, shut it,” he said, finally. Rush heard the sigh of relief that Eli made.

 

“Em. Can you come out, please?”

 

“If it's necessary.”

 

He was getting his legs out first, and was about to jump down when he saw the mathematician nearer than he had expected, so, trying to avoid jumping over him he changed his position, but too late. When he fell to the floor he didn't land well enough and lost balance. He reached for something to grab and steady himself, instead he made Eli lost his balance and both fell to the floor, next the table. Instantly after that, something hit Eli on his head, not hard enough to make him pass out, but to leave a mark.

 

“Crap!”

 

“Shit!”

 

Rush knew, he _knew_ that that was bad, very, very bad. He rose immediately, getting as far as he could. But Eli rose as well, and grabbed his arm before he could get too far.

 

“Where are you going?” His tone was demanding, his eyes pleading.

 

“Out.”

 

“No! They will catch you, or make you run. You can't, it's dangerous.”

 

“Right now, I think you are more dangerous.” Rush tried to free his arm. Eli was surprisingly stronger than what he thought. “Please, release me.”

 

“But... It's dangerous out there,” Eli talked quietly, worrying that their voices could make someone come again. “I'll keep you safe until it's all over.”

 

He didn't want this. He needed something totally different right now, and it wasn't Eli. But he was warm, and here, and he pulled him into a unexpected hug.

 

Rush shook his head, trying to make the memory fade away. It was highly embarrassing what had happened and he had been acting as if he didn't remember anything. It was crystal clear to him that Eli remembered everything, and the kid acted awkwardly in front of him.

 

“So,” he broke the silence. “That's what that thing you found _highly interesting_?”

 

“Em, yes.”

 

“And you couldn't tell me that through radio?”

 

“Em... Look, I was trying to make a chance so we can talk about-”

 

“About what?” he cut. Eli blushed.

 

“About what you did the other day.”

 

Fuck, fuck, shit. He nodded. “What do you want to talk about?”

 

“Why did you kiss me?”

 

“No one else was around,” he answered plainly. That hurt Eli. He saw it on his eyes. _Shit_.

 

“Then, why did you let me kiss you when we arrived at your quarters?”

 

“And why not? I kissed you first.”

 

Eli stormed out, saying something about “Scottish bastards”. Rush inhaled deeply, exhaling slowly. “That went so well,” he mumbled bitterly.

 

“What went so well?”

 

Rush looked up, startled, at Lt. Scott's face. He looked nervous, and in pain.

 

“Nothing,” he sighed.

 

“I... need to tell you something.”

 

“Whatever it is, it can wait. Now I'm busy.” He turned to continue with his chores, but Matt grabbed him and led him to another room, one empty and almost dark room, and cornered him on the wall.

 

“I need to tell you this now.”

 

Matt was bent over Rush, so near he could feel the heat from the younger man. Matt held Rush with his hands on his shoulders, not strongly, not even firmly, just leaving them there. The light was so dim that they could barely see each other. Rush knew where Matt's eyes where for the reflection of some light on them.

 

“Well, lad, I have not all the day, speak.”

 

“I... I think...” Matt lowered his head, not knowing how to begin. Then, he looked Rush straight in the eye. But he didn't say anything, he lowered again his head, and kissed him. It hurt him the way Matt was kissing him now. It wasn't lustful, it wasn't demanding. It was full of feelings. Feelings he didn't want to see. “I think I'm falling in love with you.”

 

“Don't...”

 

“I can't help it.”

 

“Then make it stop.”

 

“I... I...” Matt looked at him again, their faces so close their lips brushed together. “I don't want to.” He kissed him again.

 

This time Rush wrapped his arms around him, to get closer, so close they could feel each other body. The kiss became desperate. This, _this_ , was what he needed. The contact, the proximity. Warm hands running over him, sliding inside his clothes, a mouth that won't let him think about what's wrong and what's right.

 

But then again, the kiss changed and became full of feelings. Painful. He broke the contact.

 

“We should stop,” he whispered, panting.

 

Matt was panting, too. He thought that it was lucky that there were so little light, as he knew that his cheeks were bright red. Even though they stopped kissing Matt didn't want to let go, even more, he hugged Rush more firmly.

 

That was when a radio cracked and Ronald's voice called Matt to go to his shift. He left Rush reluctantly. Matt had only walked a few steps when he heard the moan. Surely, he thought, Rush was regretting what just happened.


	6. In which some wildness happens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Chapter's Notes** : In this chapter you will find blood, swearing, a person being cut open, **_And_** , slash things happens.
> 
>  **Yoyi's notes** : Hello there! Chapter WITHOUT beta, meaning horrific English and confusing plot, so any correction or suggestion will gladly be accepted. Expect some **_OoC_**. I don't own SGU nor it's characters. This is for fans. Enjoy!

He was smelling something. There was a scent under his nose that annoyed him. That smell... It wasn't sour, not sweet, it wasn't musk either, nor human's body odour. It was insistent, almost like he couldn't smell anything different. He sniffed the air around him, following the scent, trying to figure out where it came from.

 

The smell had woken up him from his nap so he was barefoot, wearing a rumpled and unbuttoned shirt and his trousers, with holes on the knees and the back, hanging low on his hips. He didn't pay any attention to were he was headed, only followed his nose, sniffing the air. Suddenly he felt nausea and lost valance. One of his hands found the bulkhead, steadying him. How bad he was feeling now! He needed to rest, he took a seat on the floor, breathing uneven. He needed air.

 

Time passed. When he felt better he got to his feet and went back to his quarters. He needed his nap.

 

***

 

 

Going through the gate to gather fresh fruit, new seeds and medicinal plants wasn't as funny when you knew there were lizard-like creatures as big as horses. In other planets there was a big crowd of people wanting to go; in this one, they were short of volunteers. That was the only and one reason why Col. Young let Dr. Rush go with them, against TJ's advices.

 

But Rush, when he wanted, could be a persuasive bastard, and he have learned to push the correct strings to get TJ to agree with him, at some degree. Now was one of those occasion when he got what he wanted. TJ concealed only if he had Lt. James and herself at his heels like a guardian dogs. And he was forbidden to wander off on his own, get caught by the giant lizards or split from the group.

 

Lt. Scott was against it too. He would have preferred Rush to stay in the ship -not that the ship was less dangerous than the planet, but it gave the sense of protection-, but Rush was adamant on going to the planet. He was silent as death while walking beside TJ, not stepping on dry branches, steady in every step, walking slowly. It seemed as if he was learning how to move like a soldier. That made Matt feel proud -of what, he didn't know.

 

In the end, they could get samples, seeds, fruit and some meat without too much trouble. The giant lizards didn't pay attention to them as long as they weren't disturbed. Which was a relief, looking at how fast they were when hunting their preys, some kind of enormous birds -”We have eggs, yay!”, had yelled one of the soldiers when they found the nests.

 

Right after they came back to the ship, Rush was instantly surrounded by people, shielding him from Matt. One of them was Chloe, who glanced at him briefly after turning away, taking Rush with her, while TJ, Camile and Lisa worked as a wall between them. Matt wanted to say something but only shut his mouth and looked away.

 

It angered him that another one of the shield was Eli, until Lisa took him apart and made him split up with the main group. Other scientist approached them and in matter of seconds Rush was too far to reach. Matt sighed, a little disappointed. He needed to talk with Rush... and needed it to be only a _talk_.

 

Last time he had tried to talk it had ended in another completely different thing. That's why he needed to talk with Rush. Only talk. But... about what? He had said all that what he needed to say. Maybe if Rush would goddammit answer him, or if Matt could understand what was the man thinking. He kissed him back, he reacted to him, but Matt was so sure Rush had a lover. If not, how did he got that hickey on his neck? He couldn't have done that himself. If was physically impossible. Unless... unless that wasn't a hickey.

 

Matt sighed again and shook his head. He had things to do, better to get started now than latter.

 

***

 

 

After some more data was processed, they decided to make a camp on the planet. The crew would go down in small parties to relax and to gather things, with the sharp vigilance of the military to ensure the safety. Though none of the creatures had bothered them, it was still a possibility that it would be some dangerous ones who hadn't show up themselves yet.

 

There were two teams sent to recollect goods. One was in charge of food, water and medicinal plants; the other was gathering wood, seeds, dirt and minerals. Sergeant Ronald Greer was in charge of _Team Blue_ , in which Lisa Park was too. He glanced at her more that what he should. He knew. And that was dangerous being as the bugs from this planet were big, awfully big. And dangerous. His team was collecting rocks, plants and sticks. Lisa was giving orders depending on which sound came from the device she was holding in her hands.

 

Really useful, even when she was blind. She and Volker were the ones in charge of that particular thing. Ronald frowned, he didn't like how Volker stared at Lisa. Nope, not a one bit. It irked him. Like a particular fly that won't let you sleep on a summer day. Not that he was comparing Volker to a fly. Or maybe he was but...

 

A low rumble got his attention to his left. He rose his weapon in a heart-beat, pointing to where the sound came. But as fast as he was, the creature was faster. He shoot. It growled and another one came out. Orders were yelled. People threw things while running. They retreated, firing weapons, protecting the civilians.

 

 _You have to protect them, you are their only and one chance to survive. You can't feel fear. Colonel Young counts on you to protect them. You have to protect them_ , he thought, repeating it like a mantra. It all happened way too fast. But in the blink of an eye, they all were aboard the ship, the 'Gate shut down.

 

TJ and he new medical team were assisting those who got wounds. Some fell to their knees trying to escape. Ronald breathed, he felt calmer now. He counted, searching for some missing face. None. He breathed again, frowning. It was difficult. And why was the ship moving this fast? He felt something warm on his stomach, dripping down. Someone screamed, he looked around. Several people were staring at him. One of TJ's team came running to him.

 

He closed his eyes.

 

***

 

 

They passed from paradise to total hell in less than a nanosecond. Those creatures, cat-like giant monsters, attacked them when they felt most comfortable. Greer was the first one to react. Inman fired second, then James, then Becker. It was all a mess. Scientist screamed throwing things, falling down, screaming in their way back to the Stargate ring. One of the things got Greer.

 

They fell to the dirt. It was on top of him trying to bite his head off. James shot it, aiming for the head, the bullet going through the eye to the brain. It was dead in a heart-beat. Greer got up and shot too. They all were screaming.

 

“FUCKING MOTHERFUCKERS!! EAT THIS, YOU SHIT!!”

 

A big explosion, someone threw a grenade. Blood splashed.

 

Scott was at the 'Gate, dialling only when it was safe. Keeping the people safe. Last team, Greer's team, came at last. It seemed like some had twisted ankles or wrists. Some had blood. They all came running. Greer faced his back and shot again. He was the last one crossing the 'Gate.

 

“Fuck!”

 

“Shit! What was that? I thought this place was _safe_ , for fuck's sake!”

 

“They looked like cheetahs.”

 

“Is everybody all right?”

 

“The medic team is coming.”

 

“We are already here, those who hit your heads come here, sprained over there, bleeding injuries to there.”

 

People were regrouping, counting what was lost. At first, everybody looked the same: exhausted, frightened, injured, but safe. Scott saw it, Greer was falling. He couldn't get to him before he fell, but another one did.

 

The floor surrounding him was covered in blood. His blood. He was taken to the infirmary. People screamed.

 

“Take me with him! Take me with him!” was screaming Park. They all were surprised.

 

In the infirmary Greer was stripped. He had a really bad looking and very deep injury. That thing had opened him. It was a luck he was wearing his military vest, because it prevented his guts from falling out. It was a wonder how these aliens got to cut his stomach without tearing his clothes. TJ sent someone to get an expert from the Earth, but didn't wait for him or her to came, she started to clean the wounds.

 

She searched for some organs that could be ripped. Greer's intestines where exposed, but luckily enough they weren't too damaged. She could fix it. She just needed the right help. Internally, she was grateful to Eli and Rush for the equipment. If it weren't for them, she was sure she wouldn't be able to use any of the devices in the infirmary.

 

“Ron, don't worry, you will be okay. You'll see,” she whispered, more to herself than to the unconscious soldier.

 

Outside, people waited for news. Hours passed, but nobody came out. Colonel Young was there, steadier than ever. He felt guilty of what had happened. He should have been there, with his people, protecting them. Instead, he had been doing other frivolous things. It irked him to no end to think that this could have been avoided if he had been there. Somehow, he thought he was responsible of Greer's injuries, as if he had done them himself. He knew that were nonsenses, but that was only deep down, where he actually couldn't hear it.

 

“He will be okay. He is a strong one,” someone said.

 

Yes, he hoped it. Ronald Greer was like weed, difficult to get rid of.

 

***

 

 

_Several hours before_

 

He called Rush to his quarters. And, surprisingly enough, he came. He was like a walking disaster. Clothes rumpled. He had gained some weight by now, though he was still too skinny. Under his eyes he had shadows of not resting well, and the way he narrowed them made Young wonder if he had a headache. It probably was that. A headache. Why did he came here if he was having a headache?

 

He watched all his movements as if he tried to burnt them into his retinas. He started to hate it. When was all of this going to end? All these make-up feelings. They were all fake, made up by the devilish device. He didn't have time to feel these things about another man, less if the so called man was _Rush_ of all people. Dammit! He looked like he needed a hug. And Young wanted to give him one.

 

“Well? What is it, Colonel?”

 

“Take a seat, please.”

 

“I'd rather not. I have to go back to work.”

 

“Yes... work. It's always work with you, isn't it? Lot of work.”

 

“Why did you call me?” Rush was positively sounding pissed. He had his arms crossed and was giving him that look. In a _rush_ , isn't he?

 

“Lieutenant Scott asked me a personal favour before going down to the planet. I'm eager to help my people, but I don't like being treated as a postman, I am not one. So please, next time you two want to exchange letters, use another way.”

 

He then took the letter Matt had written for Rush. The colonel could see the annoyance in the face of the man standing in front of him. Yes, he was really annoyed. Not because he was called for this, not for the letter, not for the person who wrote it. He was annoyed because he was thinking this was a totally unnecessary waste of paper. Young could read that on his face as if it was written on his forehead with red ink.

 

“Where the heck did he got paper?”

 

“Good question.” He paused, relishing in the feeling of keeping the man annoyed but interested on his person. Rush surely thought he knew the answer. “Ask him yourself.”

 

Rush raised one brow. And he had his lips partially parted, just an inch. It wasn't something so noticeable, but for one reason or another Young could see it. He tried to focus again in the man and not in parts of him. Rush's face was another question.

 

“You are saying that because you don't know or you don't want to tell?”

 

Young tried not to smile. “Does it matter?”

 

“Maybe not. Give me that thing, please.”

 

Sure, he would. In a minute. He liked this. He actually had some kind of power over Rush. Because Rush wanted the letter. Not for it's content, but for itself. Rush wanted the paper, to use it to write his equations, or to give it to Eli so Math-Boy could write his own. Or maybe to give it to Chloe. Amusing.

 

“What if I said I wanted something in return?”

 

“Then you ask Lt. Scott for that, since he was the one who wanted to deliver it through you and not me. So, please.”

 

Rush had a hand extended in front of him, palm up. The other hand was still in the same position that it was when he had his arms folded. How pretty. But the furrow of his face, the little twitch on his cheek, and his still parted lips, made him want to piss him off a little bit more. To push the matter, just a bit, just one more time.

 

“No, really, what will you give me in return?”

 

Rush didn't look confused. He looked annoyed. He withdrew his hand, folded again his arms and looked down. Then sighed.

 

“What the hell do you want? I'm busy, so please stop wasting my time.”

 

This time, Young smiled. Yep, a wide smile crossed his face, and it was still there when Rush looked up. He was frowning. But in matter of seconds he relaxed his facial expression and then, smiled back.

 

That took Young unguarded. Seconds, just a few seconds and Rush reached and took away the letter from his hands. His fingers didn't brush his own. Disappointing. He wanted contact with the man. He knew that much by now. Of course it had taken time, and Telford joking about it, for him to realise it. _When he figures out how that device works, how to deactivate it, then I'll go back to normal. Just hang in there, Everett_ , he thought.

 

Rush opened the envelope right there. More annoyance. He could read on his face that he though the envelope being another unnecessary way of wasting precious paper. His eyes were focused on the lines written there. But shortly after he started reading they stopped.

 

***

 

 

Being there _trapped_ with Col. Young wasn't what he expected when he was called to have a little reunion to talk about _Destiny_ 's course. Young didn't talk after he got the letter from his hand, only stared at him while he read it.

 

But Rush wasn't reading it, not really, just analysing what Young was trying to do. What was he pursuing? The little time-consuming chat he tried to have with him before, not taking his eyes from him. Did he wanted to read his facial expressions while he focused on the letter? The thought made him want to laugh, because he wasn't going to read it right there. So Young could stare all what he wanted.

 

“I'll assume that there's all you wanted me here for, Colonel, and go back to work,” he said, voice quiet, folding the paper and putting it in a safe place inside his pocket.

 

Young didn't answered right away. Rush looked at him and the colonel tilted his head while narrowing his eyes.

 

“What now? What's bothering you? What do you want?” he asked the colonel. Really, he wanted to go back to his quarters. He wasn't that busy, but the free time he had now was for resting, not for playing silly games with Young.

 

“What do _you_ want, Rush?”

 

The scientist blinked, slowly. “What do you mean?”

 

“What do you want to do about all of this?” Young moved a hand. “What do you want to get from this situation?”

 

“I beg you pardon?” Rush was feeling lost here.

 

“What will you do after the baby is born?”

 

Ah!

 

That, he wasn't expecting. He must be showing it on his face, because Young's face changed. He wasn't called here to talk about _Destiny_ 's course, nor about the letter, but about his actual condition. He felt rage rising inside him.

 

“Why do you care?”

 

“Because I do.” Young stepped closed. “This isn't only about you, Rush. This will change Matt's life, TJ is obviously involved in it. This will change the whole crew. After the first baby there will be more. So I'll ask again, what will you _do_ next?”

 

Rush didn't answered. He looked away, gasping. This question, he had been evading to look after the answer. _What now?_ He didn't know. Not now. He... looked at Young, finding his gaze on him.

 

“This baby will make people realise we'll be here longer than we actually think. Going back home will be more difficult than what they want to believe.”

 

Rush looked away again, feeling his cheeks hotter than before. “I am working on it. And Eli, and Chloe. We... we are working...”

 

“But _until_ you figure out how to do that, the rest will be trapped _here_ , with a baby. A new generation. Wondering if they too should have their own children. We will have more mouths to feed, and they will need more attention than anything. That will slow down _all_ our work. What...?”

 

“I want you to leave me alone until I can deal with this,” Rush cut. “I don't need you to tell me that. I know, I _know_. And, honestly, I don't want to discuss this with you, colonel. I can't deal with this on my own and I would like people to stop adding weight on my shoulders. I have a lot on my plate. I can't deal with it. I can feel my body changing, I can feel it all too much. I want to be left alone and I'm sure I don't need...”

 

He hadn't realised that he was shaking until Young wrapped his arms around him, nor the tears that were now soaking into Young's t-shirt. He hated it. He always had to feel so vulnerable, so raw in front of Young. He hated it. Why was always Young? Why couldn't it be anybody else? But what he hated most was that he craved for his arms. He needed the contact.

 

Rush hugged back.

 

“I don't want this,” he whispered, between sobs.

 

“I can see that.” Young was rubbing him, doing circles in the small of his back with one hand, and back and ford between his shoulder blades with the other.

 

If he didn't know better, he could swear he felt Young kissing his temples.

 

“I don't want you,” Rush said, looking at Young. He was _crying_. He was never a crybaby. Why now? Frustrating. “I need someone,” he continued, almost breathless, tear-drops falling still from his eyes. Young didn't move, even his hands stopped. “This would be the right moment for you to kiss me.”

 

Young did. And drew him closer, tightening his arms around him and swallowed a sigh Rush made.

 

“What do you need from me?” Young's voice was hoarse.

 

“I don't know.”

 

“You don't know or you don't want to tell?”

 

Rush stared at him, weighing his answers. “I don't want to tell.”

 

“Because you don't even know” Young nodded before kissing him again. This time, more heated.

 

Their bodies flushed together. Young lead Rush to his bed, where he laid him on his back, without breaking the kiss. Rush felt Young's weight over him, his body heat, his warm hands skimming through his clothes, touching him as if he wanted to remember every inch of his skin.

 

Young left his mouth and went for the neck.

 

“This has been driving me insane for a while now,” he whispered, hot breath over his skin.

 

Rush moaned when he felt his wet tongue followed by teeth.

 

“What?” asked Rush, trying to focus on what was Young saying and not what he was doing.

 

“You have this fucking mole here,” Young said between bites and licks. “I had been thinking so much about it lately. I wanted to do this for a long time now.”

 

“How... how long” Rush voice went high in the last word when Young bit him too hard.

 

“I don't want to remember now that I have it for myself.”

 

They kissed again. Young's tongue invaded his mouth, exploring, tasting him, maybe too forceful. But it was okay. It didn't matted that his saliva run down his chin. It didn't matter that both of them groaned in the kiss. It didn't matter that Young's body was tense under his hands, muscles tightening.

 

And, suddenly, Rush had a really bad idea. The worst part was that he said that idea out loud. “Fuck me.”

 

“Yes.”

 

Young opened the shirt he was wearing, almost tearing it. Some buttons came flying. Rush moaned, shivering in anticipation at the sight of Young looking at his exposed chest. The colonel drew his head sticking out his tongue. It made contact with the lower part of the surgical scar there, and danced up, slowly.

 

Rush felt his kisses, his tongue, his teeth all over his chest and neck. He enjoyed all of them. But what came as a surprise was when he sucked one of his nipples. He didn't expect to feel it that way, the rush of pleasure that run over him. He was sure he made a weird sound. But either Young ignored it, or liked it, because he didn't stop. He even went for the other nipple, biting this time.

 

“Oh god!” Rush hushed, hands deep on Young's curly hair, drawing him closed, arcing his back.

 

But he needed more, so he forced Young away from his body and gripped his t-shit, hauling it over the colonel's head. He had lost weight as the rest of them, but his muscles were still in shape. Rush run his fingers over the skin in front of him, then directed his hands towards his hair and pulled him closer to kiss him. Their chests touched, hot wet skin against hot dry skin.

 

Young laid over him again, but this time Rush was the one biting his neck.

 

“I'm going to regret this,” whispered Rush between pants when Young took away his trousers and underwear.

 

“Latter, not now.,” said Young before coming back to the bed, completely naked now.

 

***

 

 

It had been so hard. She was still shaking, but with the stones they got a surgery expert and Ronald was now resting, a huge bandage around his torso. Lisa Park was right beside him, trembling and crying.

On the far end of the infirmary Chloe was still hugging Matt so tight she could be choking him. But Matt's arms were circling Chloe's waists in a tight embrace too. They kept silent for another half an hour.

“I thought I could lose you,” said Chloe at last.

“The only thing I could think when I was there was that... I wanted to see you again.”

That surprised Chloe. She thought Matt would think of his future child, not about her.

“Really?”

They locked their eyes. Matt was still pale from the fright of losing his friend. “Of course.”

She could only trust him. His eyes, his words, it all seemed so true, so real.

“What about Rush? Your baby?”

“I... I didn't remembered it. You were my only and one thought. Chloe... I... I am sorry. I love you. I love you so much.”

They kissed.

“Don't ever leave me again or I'll kick your ass.”

Colonel Young smiled to himself when he heard that. He was there to check on Greer. TJ said that after the night he would be out of danger. He looked up from Greer's face and saw Rush there too. He was looking at him, expression guarded. Then, he looked away. Young followed his gaze. He was looking at Matthew and Chloe.

When Young looked again towards Rush, he was gone.

***

 

 

 Over his desk, the letter rested, crumpled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> I would like some suggestions regarding this fanfic and if there is any kind sould who find something that sounds stupid, doesn't make sense and such, please **_TELL_** me so I can correct it.
> 
> Thanks for reading. I hope you are enjoying this... thing. xD


	7. In which the crew learn the truth, sort of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Notes** : OoC, without Beta (I want to remind you, readers, that English is not my first language xD and I lack some vocabulary :P)
> 
> Happy New Year, you lot who read this, to all of you ;)

**7\. In which the crew learn the truth, sort of.**

 

He saw it. He saw it so clearly over his desk. So, Rush was angry at him? Was it because the letter? Or was it because... because he was back with Chloe? Maybe he saw them in the infirmary, and that's why he was upset.

 

Rush was sitting on a chair looking at him making a strange face.

 

“So, why are you here now?” asked with a tone of voice he couldn't understand.

 

“I am here to talk about the letter.”

 

Rush raised his brows. “Continue,” he said when Scott kept quiet.

 

“I... I'll assume you are not happy about it?” He looked around, then to Rush again. Rush was so relaxed on his chair. “And you are not happy about me... being with Chloe?”

 

Rush burst laughing surprised him. “Oh, no, lad. I'm more than pleased.” He was smiling so brightly.

 

“Ah... Yeah. I suppose?”

 

“Yes. It's kind of... freeing. This nonsense you wrote worried me. But now I am so at peace.”

 

Scott's stomach started to hurt. He was happy that Rush would let him go this easy but... it hurt. His pride, mostly. Then, a thought came to him.

 

“Are you seeing someone?”

 

Rush rise a brow, losing his smile. “I am seeing you right now.”

 

“You know that's not what I mean.”

 

“Ah, no?”

 

Scott fisted his hands. Rush could be such a jerk when he wanted. “Do you have a lover?”

 

“Why do you want to know?”

 

“Dammit, Rush! Just answer, yes or no!”

 

“Why should...” But at the face that Scott made, Rush stopped mid-way and sighed before answering. “As a matter of fact, no, I don't.”

 

“Are you sleeping with someone then? Outside a relationship?”

 

“Why are you asking me all of this? Why is this relevant to you?”

 

“Because... Because it is you, Rush!! I... I love Chloe. I love her with almost all my might.”

 

Rush was slightly worried before asking “Almost...?”

 

“Because part of me, a microscopic part of me still wants to be with you.”

 

Rush rose from his seat, losing valance for a second, then hurried towards the door and opened it. “Out! Stop being so half-assed about this and get out of my sight.”

 

When Scott reached the door Rush added “If you ever hurt Chloe again, I'll take care of you.”

 

“Like you are one to talk.”

 

Rush gave him a cunning smile. “That's another completely different thing here, lad.”

 

Scott left, feeling utterly wrong. He shouldn't be this shaken. He thought he had moved on. He thought he had forgotten him. But listening to him degrading what they had – whatever it was – to a crumpled silly love letter hurt more than what he thought. It was so unfair that Rush could forget about him this easy and he couldn't.

 

Scott stopped mid-way. He... just couldn't. Why?

 

***

 

 

Eli saw it all. He could sense something was up between those two. Something he surely didn't want to know at all. Yet. Because he didn't know if knowing it would endanger his situation, since the secrets those two shared were life-threatening, always. So knowing or not knowing? Which one was better?

 

But of course, if you don't know, you are unaware of the dangers. Only when you know you can decide if it was better to be oblivious to it. He realised he was staring so he averted his gaze. Now this was better. Meat, and a small omelet, with some sour tomatoes and alien lettuce and the everlasting sweet potatoes. He should eat now, instead of glaring at his plate, but he had just lost his appetite. Why was he this damn curious, uh?

 

“Eli, everything ok?”

 

He looked up and saw Lt. Vanessa James talking to him. Uh? Since when was she here?

 

“Yeah, good. It's just that... this is all so weird. I mean, until now we had to count every ounce of food we used so we wouldn't run out of it and now... This looks like a feast and I feel kinda weird with all this much on my plate. You see? Seems like a waste.”

 

“Uh, so... you were deep in thoughts about food?”

 

“...Yeah... kinda.”

 

“You made sad faces, you know?”

 

“Really.” Eli took a spoon to look into it. At James' laughter he lowered the spoon and gave her a look. “You were mocking me.”

 

“Yes, just a little bit,” she said, putting the last of her meal into her mouth. After she swallowed she continued. “You were looking at Dr. Rush and Col. Young. Are you worried about what they are talking about?”

 

Eli winced. “No, not really.”

 

“I'm asking this because you would be the one to know. I mean, I have been under Col. Young's command for a while but I think inside _Destiny_ you are the most experienced when it involves both of them.”

 

“Nah! Nothing to worry about, really. It's just that I was wondering if it was better to ask or to leave it be. You know, sometimes is better not to know.”

 

She nodded. Then, Rush voice caught their attention.

 

“...would have happened if you could get your little pet-soldiers to keep their dicks inside their pants!” He got up, angry, and left the mess hall.

 

All stares went to Young, who was looking as dumbfounded as them.

 

“See? I was talking about that,” pointed Eli.

 

James nodded, still in awe, not knowing what was all this about and choosing Eli's method: better not get her nose into this.

 

***

 

 

Colonel David Telford, in the body of Airman Darren Becker, was trying to keep his face neutral. He could see that Rush fit better now in his trousers, and his t-shirts looked smaller too. It was getting so obvious that he had trouble not to grin widely. That would get Rush mad, and he needed Rush to be in his best behaviour for a while before teasing him.

 

“...why the power is always charged below 70%. And Mr. Brody thought that we could cannibalise some of the sheedships components or even the stargates themselves to fix it manually. Maybe this way and re-routing the extra power we get to these systems we could use Mr. Wallace's idea and data on a new attempt to...” Rush stared at him. He stared back. “Is it something wrong, colonel?”

 

He hid a laugh with a cough. “Mm, no, everything's all right. Continue, please.”

 

He was going to continue with the scheduled point but he stopped again and stared at him again. Telford stared back, too.

 

“Do you care telling me why are you staring at my stomach and not at the data you have right in front of you, colonel?” he said, deliberately slowly, poisonous and very, very angry in a low, quiet voice.

 

This time, Telford couldn't help himself and smiled at Rush dearly. “You are so cute in this state. I wish I could take a pic and go back with it. I would put it on my desk.”

 

Rush's face went from worried-pale to aggravated-red. But he said nothing. He wouldn't dare to start this kind of conversation when half of his scientist team was present and listening to every word with such interest. Telford smiled at him again and put a hand on his shoulder.

 

“I think we need to talk about it, Nick, it has started to show.”

 

“Well, _David_ , that's none of your business.” The way Rush used his name sounded more like _moron_ , or _bastard_ than his own name, but it was okay, he was used to it by now. He smiled again.

 

“Um... Colonel Telford?” It was Dr. Volker.

 

“Yes, Doctor?”

 

“Can we... ?”

 

“Oh, yes, yes. I am sorry. Proceed.”

 

Before they continued Rush coughed something that sounded very much alike to “ass-hole” or “arse-hole” to him. This was going to be amazingly interesting.

 

***

 

And yeah, after the briefing there was this juicy rumour about Telford flirting with Rush in front of the science team in the middle of it. And this came to Lt. Scott's ears, and it sting like a bitch. And Scott wasn't in the mood to be mad at the entire world just because a man was flirting with the man that was carrying his child. Nope, he should... But still the poor bulkhead received the total force of his repressed wrath in the form of a punch. And right after that, Scott didn't know what hurt more, if his feelings or his hand.

 

His hand, maybe. He was getting dizzy. “Shit. This sucks,” he whispered going towards the infirmary where he hoped not to find anybody except TJ or Varro or Cole or whomever was there, but just only one person, please. Ah! Not feeling lucky today, eh, Matthew? Voices. More than one. Inside. _But my hand is killing me_.

 

So he dared to enter the infirmary, to find that the voices came from another place and not the main room.

 

“Hello? Is anybody here? I need some help,” he said, raising his voice and hoping it didn't sound too pained. His eyes had tears and could feel each palpitation of his hand like a reminded of the frailty of his limb when competing with a metal wall. _Next time I'll wait until I got to my quarters and punch the pillow_ , he thought, hopping there were no next time.

 

“I'll be there in a minute,” came TJ's voice.

 

“'kay.”

 

And minutes passed. And his hand hurt, and he rested on a bed and tried not to scream and he felt the tears falling down. When he heard the voices again he got up, drying away the tears, and stood as straight as he could manage.

 

Then, Camile came out, followed by TJ, followed by Rush. TJ came to him in a heart beat when he showed his hand. What a pretty violet colour it had. He ignored Rush and Camile, not because he wasn't curious about what was not-Camile – yep, that couldn't be Camile, she moved differently, stones maybe – telling him. Maybe a check up, maybe about the baby. Nope, he ignored them because he couldn't ignore what TJ was doing with his hand.

 

“Christ! What did you do here? You are lucky there aren't any fractures, as I can tell.”

 

“Well, you know me, TJ. I was dared to destroy a bulkhead and failed.”

 

“Yeah. It was Greer then. I'll have to talk to him.”

 

He grinned. Both of them knew that was a lie, but because it was a funny lie they both would carry on.

 

***

 

This was not so funny. He had to be there, right? He had to come just when he had his check up. And it was not one innocent with ultrasonic check up, no. It was the one in which he had to strip waist down and lie on his side and let those two _crazy medics_ put that cold metal bar inside him so it could measure whatever it measured.

 

And Lt. Johansen laughed and Dr. Lam giggled. Dr. Lam explained why to him. “You see, remember when we found the linking towards the uterus? Well, it is producing some kind of lubricant, in the case you would have se-”

 

“I see,” he cut. He felt his ears hot, and he knew he had all his face red, and that he was blushing more than ever in his life and he knew the blush was going down his neck. Not because that little organ was producing lubricant, but because it reminded him of some shameful things he did with Col. Young a few weeks ago... And he didn't want to remember. Not now, not ever.

 

“ _And_ ,” she continued. “You might feel some change in your chest. There's a high possibility that you will grow breasts.” At his stare of horror she stopped briefly. “Nothing too big. You won't even enter the A cup, so relax. It will last only a couple of weeks after you give birth. Unless you want to breastfeed.”

 

 _So perfect!_ , he thought, not feeling like it was remotely of being perfect. His body was feeling foreign already, thank you very much. He didn't need any new change. So _fucking_ perfect.

 

So, when he heard Lt. Scott's voice he tensed up. He wanted to get out as soon as possible. He wasn't comfortable being in the same room as him anymore. Because he would remember too the feel of the boy and he was feeling pretty horny today which was really odd for his age and he just wanted to hid in his quarters and see no-one.

 

Finally safe from prying eyes in his room, he took off his clothes and got in bed. Lately he had been feeling exhausted, more than what was normal, anyway. He could see it, a smooth curve that threatened to take away his peace of mind as soon as the rest of the crew saw it too. It was getting bigger and bigger and he wouldn't be able to hide it for too long. He wouldn't ever recognise it before anyone, even himself, but, he was scared of their reactions.

 

They reacted pretty well to TJ's pregnancy. Then again, she was loved by everybody, she was pregnant before coming to _Destiny,_ and she was a woman. Women were supposed to get pregnant; men weren't.

 

Sighing, he touched his stomach, carefully, fearing it could explode. This was why he wanted to be alone. He felt so lost. He needed someone's caress, another body pressed to his, giving him the heat he wasn't able to attain. It wasn't a material heat, it was more about feelings. He was being too sentimental and that affected his work.

 

“I can't do this alone.”

 

Of course he could. He could, only if the rest of the crew didn't... Okay, he needed support. But he wasn't going to get it here. Well, he could ask TJ – and since when did he thought of the lass as TJ and not as lieutenant? – but it could be harder for her, since she lost her own baby. She... she was copping really well with him being pregnant. He could ask Chloe too, but that meant being nearer to Lt. Scott and he couldn't bear the lad anymore. He could ask Eli, but he doubted Math-Boy could keep his mouth shut. He could go to...

 

No. He wasn't going to... But. Maybe he was the only one. “Don't think about it and sleep,” he scolded himself.

 

***

 

“TJ, I need to talk with you,” said Col. Young, entering the infirmary like a hurricane. It was late in the evening, and she was doing the inventory alone, as always.

 

She looked up. He seemed to be agitated by something. Really, really bothered. He was clenching and unclenching his hands, breathing irregular, not staying on the same spot for long.

 

“Calm down, take a seat,” she said, getting up and going to close the door. Then she guided the man to her private office, and closed that door too. “Okay, what's wrong?”

 

“Do you have any results regarding...?”

 

She nodded. “Nothing out of the ordinary.”

 

“Exactly as Scott?”

 

She nodded again.

 

“I can't be sure that that's good, though. Matt came yesterday too. He said he was feeling something in the tip of his fingers, like the ghost of having touched something, as if he needed to touch it again, he said.”

 

“Oh.” This seemed to calm him a bit. “Well, I have that same ghost-like feeling,” he said, looking down at his hands. “But it's not about touching. It's about smelling. There is a smell... I can't take it off my nose.” He looked away, clenching his hands again. “I need to...”

 

“Is it about... Rush?” she asked carefully. The pained look on his eyes was intense. He blushed faintly.

 

“I need to... _smell_ him,” he confessed, embarrassed, not looking at her.

 

She nodded.

 

Neither of them talked.

 

“How strong is it?”

 

“I...,” he didn't finished, the crackle of the radio interrupted them.

 

“ _Col. Young, Scott here, come in, sir._ ”

 

Young sighed. “This is Col. Young, go ahead Lieutenant.”

 

“ _Mr. Brody found something interesting. You might want to come and see it._ ”

 

Young looked at TJ with a resigned look. “Okay, I'm on my way, were are you?”

 

And he left.

 

TJ stayed there, alone, feeling... nothing. Then, a sudden weight came down to her stomach.

 

“This... is too much for me,” she mumbled. “I need a vacation soon.”

 

***

 

Just few minutes latter, Young found Brody, Volker, Scott, Rush, James and Inman in a conference room. This room was adjacent to a storage room. Over the table there was a small white device. It looked like a Rubik's cube, with some hollows in spheric shape on the corners. Rush was leaning on the farthest wall, glancing at it, not so sure about all that people being reunited in the room, that close to the device.

 

He glanced towards the scientists, then the military, then the cube, then the scientists again.

 

“What is that?” he asked finally.

 

“That's... ah... wait...,” came a panting voice from the door. Everybody turned around to see Eli with a hand on the doorframe and the other on his ribs, trying to catch his breath. It looked like he had come running. “That's _Fate_ ,” he said finally.

 

Young repressed the urge to snort. First, the ship is called “Destiny”, now there's a device called “Fate” aboard it.

 

“And what does it do?”

 

Before any of the scientists could answer – and he saw Rush, from the corner of his eye, lean further on the wall, as if he wanted to be more far away from it – Eli talked again.

 

“It's a matchmaking device which will help any kind of couple to conceive children. It will see if there is a likeability between both parts of the couple and decide whom should carry the baby, such as who is the most suitable to take care of the other, like bringing food, protection and such.”

 

Youngs eyes slid from Scott to Rush briefly. Scott looked fine, but Rush had his jaw clenched.

 

“So, what should we do with it?” he asked.

 

“Burn it?” said Rush, startling some of the present.

 

“Why?” asked him James. “I mean, this thing... Eli, can this thing make women who can't have children conceive?”

 

“Ahhh...” he hesitated. “What I mean is... Eh... It can get a man pregnant, so... yes, I suppose?”

 

Everyone's eyes widened with few exceptions. All the male present stepped back, away from _Fate_.

 

“What...?” started Inman.

 

“How do you know that?” cut Volker. They were all looking at Eli. Except Rush, and Young knew because he was looking at the scientist. He had his eyes shut, arms taut, hands gripping tight his biceps, breathing slowly, as if trying to calm himself.

 

“Well, Rush is pre...” Eli blabbed and when he realised what he was doing he cut mid sentence and covered his mouth with a hand.

 

Several pair of eyes looked at Rush, who was still leaning on the wall, eyes open and expression unreadable. No body moved. The air stilled.

 

After a very awkward and long pause, he sighed, looking down, then to them. “What?” he snapped.

 

Then, the world seems to get to motion, people storming out. Rush let his breath out, slowly, hands on his hips, looking down.

 

In the room there were only four people now.

 

“Great job, Eli,” complained Scott.

 

“Sorry. I'm sorry! It wasn't my intention. I didn't meant to...”

 

“It's okay, Eli. They were bound to find out sooner or latter,” said Rush, still looking down. “Though I wished it could be latter,” just a whisper, but they all heard it.

 

“Well, I suppose we can celebrate a congratulation party now,” said Young. Rush looked at him, with a half smile.

 

“Ye... yeah,” said Eli. “We can give _you_ the gifts that were for...” but Eli fell silent again, looking alarmed at Young.

 

He smiled at the mathematician. “Yes. We can put those to use now.”

 

***

 

It's ok. It's ok. _Holy shit!_ Of all the people– Why was Eli always blabbering all his secrets? Why? Why couldn't he keep quiet? Well, calm down. Nothing to be afraid of, right? There will only be stares and comments at his back and rumours and he will only be the centre of attention for a few weeks, or months or years. Nothing to worry about.

 

“Fuck!” Rush wasn't ready to tell anybody yet. There were enough people knowing about it, too many to his liking. “By now, all the crew knows.” He shuddered. He had switched off his radio and retreated to his quarters, locking the door. He wasn't really at all. He couldn't confront this.

 

He tried to sleep, but a faint knock on the door make him tense. He rose from the bed and approached the door.

 

“Yes?” he asked, almost fearful.

 

“Doc? It's me, Eli. I... I came to apologise again. Am... let me in?” came the faint voice.

 

Okay, he could managed Eli. He could vent his rage on him. Maybe a scolding could help. Do not be too harsh, he thought. Nodding to himself, he opened de door. Eli looked at him at a loss, hesitant, so Rush hauled him in by the collar of his t-shirt and closed and locked the door again.

 

The younger man looked at him with wide eyes, maybe fearful. “What the...?”

 

“I don't feel like having my door open for too much and you were standing there not taking a step in nor out,” he said, flatly.

 

“I... I see.”

 

“Well?”

 

“Eh? Ah! Yeah. I'm... I _am_ so sorry. It really, really wasn't my intention. You see? But they were looking at me and they wanted to know how I knew it could get a man pregnant and you came to mind because you are the only example I know and I didn't want to disappoint them not giving any answer but at the same time I realised that you didn't want the word spread over the ship and even when I was sure this would come to light sooner or latter I just talked and-”

 

“Stop!” cut Rush. “Stop, breathe.”

 

Eli was flustered, and his breath was uneven. “Ye... yeah. Sorry.”

 

Suddenly, Rush felt too tired to talk with Eli. “Look I... I was about to take a nap so, I think it's better if you g...”

 

Eli was looking at his hands. Rush looked at them too. Nothing new. Nothing until Eli took one on his, lifting it to eye level, black pupils dilated eating away the iris colour. Then without previous warning he got his fingers inside his mouth.

 

“What the hell?” he pulled his hand free.

 

“Ah! Sorry... I... I...”

 

“What were you doing? What are you thinking?” Rush was so aware of the situation now, locked in his quarters with Eli here. And it wasn't as if Eli, if he wanted, couldn't... couldn't... But he wouldn't... Not unless the device was making him act like this and...

 

“I don't know... I just... thought you must taste good.”

 

Bad choice of words. Bad. Choice. He was feeling his cheeks hot, his lips dry, his pulse jump, his... his crotch coming to life.

 

And Eli seemed to notice.

 

He didn't resist when Math-Boy pushed him towards the bed, nor when he undid his trousers. Not even when he took off his t-shirts – first the green one, then the white one. He just shuddered, shivered and trembled in delight when his tongue travelled from his lobe to his groin. He moaned when he bit his clavicle, and pulled him closer when he started to work on his chest. The most delightful part, for his shame, was when Eli took him in his mouth.

 

This shouldn't be happening, he thought for a moment. But then again, he was horny as hell. Had been all day and this was a way to... _Fuck!_ He didn't know Eli could do those things with his tongue!

 

 

***

 

So... He saw Eli entering Rush's quarters. Maybe they were meeting to talk about maths or whatever scientists or mathematicians talked about. But... He rubbed a hand over his face. This was getting off hand again. He needed to control himself more. Touch... Yeah, he felt that titillation on his fingertips.

 

Matt sighed deeply. He had made his resolve. He wasn't going to go back to him. He... He... He wanted to touch his bare skin, but it was okay, it was just the device and... how much was the device and how much his own desires? This had to end some way. Neither of them could continue like this. How much until the effect wear off? Because, this had to disappear at some point, right?

 

“Okay, tomorrow morning I'll ask Eli how much does he know about the device and it's effects and... Yes, he will know.”

 

Seconds after, Chloe came to bed and all his worries about Rush or Eli or the device vanished from his mind. She smiled, he smiled back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only for those who still remember... and for the ones who forgot. What Eli found so interesting some chapters ago was the name of the device. To him, it was funny that the thing was called " _Fate_ ", and, you see, _Fate likes to b*tch around_. xD
> 
>  **Chapter 8** prev: _"Woooh! Twins?" he said_.


	8. In which Fate likes to bitch around

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought about not updatin until next month or so... But what the heck! I have the chapter, so why wait? xDD

**8\. In which Fate likes to bitch around**

 

It wasn't easy, but it was necessary. He had to go out to work, to eat, to fucking clean himself. And wherever he went, stares would follow him. Fucking uncomfortable. He didn't know what was the worst of it if the staring, the lets-not-see-the-elephant-in-the-room attitude everybody seemed to adopt whenever he was there, or the rumours.

 

Or, maybe, the most terrifying thing would be Tamara, Chloe, Camile, maybe even Park and whomever they can get to their little team of -whatever they must be plotting together- doing something. He was no fool. He knew they were up to something, and that he was involved or maybe was the reason of their little reunions scared him. Was he some sort of guinea pig? Not interested in that, he was one already.

 

That morning he woke up with a start. There was a hand on his stomach, over it. Hot fingers were caressing the skin, slowly. And, of course, that hand was connected to an arm that was glued to a body, which appeared to be at his back, spooned. Soft breath touched his neck from behind. Instantly, he felt his whole body tensing.

 

When he tried to get out the bed this hand and another one gripped him, pulling back until he could feel the other's chest on his back. What the heck? Who was him? Why was he in _his_ bed, hugging him? He tried to disentangle again, receiving a huff as an answer.

 

“Would you please stop?” said the other's voice.

 

Holy shit! His heart was hammering towards his ribs faster and harder than it had ever done. He was definitely startled. What the bloody hell was Scott doing _here_? When the heck had he come in? How?

 

But he couldn't talk. He was too surprised to move now, the only thing he was doing breath and feel his heart-beat.

 

Holy. Shit.

 

“I am sorry,” they young mumbled. “I... I have this need, you see? I think it must be an effect produced by the device. I thought I was about to get nuts. I have to touch you.”

 

Rush didn't answered, just looked down to see one hand over his exposed skin, the other... well, wasn't that interesting? It was bandaged. Maybe if he touched there, he would release him or loose the grip enough for him to get away. And he was in the process of executing this plan with hundred per cent of possibilities of success when Scott talked again.

 

“I know this is not what I should be doing. But maybe until you give birth I will be like this. So, can we make a plan or write down time for visits or... I don't know, something? It is painful, and this is the only way to ease it.”

 

His hand stopped just before touching Scott's injured hand, thinking.

 

“Maybe... But then, I would have to do the same with the others,” he answered, defeat showing in his voice.

 

“O... others? Wasn't I... I mean... Others?”

 

He felt the grip tightening. “Don't press that much,” he complained. Instantly, the grip loosened a bit.

 

“Sorry,” he apologised. “It's just... you surprised me. You... you said you weren't seeing anyone.”

 

“And I am not,” he replied, indignant. “They are the ones who...” he stopped. Sighing, he ran his hands over his face, still lying down on his bed, with Scott spooned behind him, feeling his hot breath on his neck. “They touched it too. And it made them... do strange things. Which I won't deny, I liked, somewhat. And I am well aware was I not in this situation I would have killed them by now.”

 

He felt Scott shifting, arms retreating, maybe he was sitting up. He rolled over to see him looking at him, face pale, eyes wide, mouth tight closed.

 

“Can I know...?”

 

“I'd rather not, son.”

 

Scott frowned. “But they know about me!” Here it was, his complain accompanied by his perpetual puppy-patented look, whining. Oh god, how he wanted to punch that face to wipe it.

 

Scowling he replied. “Look, it is better for them if you don't know. I am saying this based on proofs. You would react pretty violent to them and I don't thing they will welcome that,” he tried approaching the matter in other ways.

 

“But... I won't... They... They touch you. Right? They have. How... how far...?”

 

Rush looked at the ceiling, then, sighing again, covered his face with his hands. He let out a little moan. His voice came muffled when he talked, between his palms. “I know you won't want to know once I tell you.”

 

He felt a sudden movement and weight over his legs. A strong hand trapped together his by the wrists over his head in an awkward position. Scott was sitting over his upper thighs with a murdering look in his eyes. Here it was, the beast behind the puppy.

 

“What?” he barked. He knew the man over him wasn't the youngster that had been hugging him minutes ago. He was a Lieutenant, a soldier.

 

“How. Far.” It wasn't a question but an order. He was demanding an answer, and it wasn't room for mid-answers or smartassness. At which Rush thought he was really good. And his sense of danger had always been some sort of distorted, so he didn't sensed any this time. Why not evade the question then?

 

“Why should I tell you? You are sleeping with Chloe right now, we are _nothing_. What you think you feel is some made-up-messed-up thing that an alien device implanted in your head, so stop trying to get in my life. It's not welcomed. And get off me! You brat!”

 

The hardening look on his eyes and the clenched jaw told him that maybe it was not a good idea to anger him right now.

 

Scott leaned over, erasing the distance between their faces until they were nose to nose, looking straight in his eyes. “You tell me and I release you. You don't, we have more than words.”

 

Okay, there was the menace. And it was a little scary. A muscle twitched on his cheek and he tried to shake him off. Not good idea. “Get. Off. Me!” he ordered.

 

“No! Tell me. How. Far!!”

 

So, this was a battle of will. The one with the stronger would win. Okay, he could play at it, if it weren't for the tightness he had started to feel in the lower part of his body, or if the other hand -fingertips- wasn't inside his clothes scratching at his ribs so gently as if wanting to dive in the skin but fearing to hurt. Maybe resist this wasn't a good idea, he thought, when Scotts eyes looked down, and the tip of his tongue touched the dry lips.

 

So, they were there, breathing into each other, for several minutes, or only just seconds, before Scott looked back at his eyes and kissed him fiercely. _If only_... If only he hadn't answered with the same thirst to it. If only he fought more when he felt his mouth on his neck.

 

“You have a nice thing there,” he heard, wet lips tracing his ear, teeth taking his lobe. “I hadn't notice before. It's a pretty mole.”

 

He shivered, really shivered. Because there was someone else who had said something alike before. He could feel Scott's mouth over his neck, but also the ghost of other lips, another moment, different person, same spot.

 

He could feel colonel Young over him, and the memory of it made his hardening cock twisting with delight. He lost sense of the world around him, feeling Scott undressing him, his own hands putting away the soldier's clothes. He wasn't passive, not always. Scott wanted to touch? Well, he wanted too.

 

His mind was clouded by pleasure and when he should have resisted the exploration of those fingers going down, and down and... between his legs, he didn't. If not for his own dignity, letting the three of them do whatever they wanted with him, for Chloe. But all the guilt he could feel for this was eradicated violently when two fingers got inside his hole looking for his special spot, scissoring.

 

He was slickly from the inside, which shouldn't be possible since they didn't use any lube but...

 

And he spread his legs for him to see, to touch, to explore, to make it easier. Because he wanted it. Both wanted it. And neither were going to let this opportunity go to waste.

 

***

 

“I think it's Eli.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Didn't you know? He knew Rush was pregnant and Matt and col. Young seemed surprised by his words.”

 

“But, wasn't col. Telford flirting with Rush the other day?”

 

“Yes... Maybe when he was using the stones...”

 

“No! Telford only comes in another military body. He would never let a civilian in his body so...”

 

Eli didn't feel like entering the mess. He was hiding near the entrance, hesitant. It was already bad that he had made this situation. He couldn't believe that they thought _he_ was the father of Rush's baby. U... He couldn't finish his inward sound of disgust, because, after all, he had had sex with the man. Sort of. Oral sex. And. It had been good.

 

Rush... Rush had pretty hands. Large and all, and he knew how to use them pretty well. Shit. He was thinking about it again! He should stop. He... he had needed to taste his skin and his sweat and his... He had licked it up, swallowed it whole. His cheeks reddened furiously. And his stomach growled. He was so hungry. But there was a lot of people there. What could he do to distract them? Maybe if he had a murlock he could...

 

Footsteps. Light but heavy. Confident. He looked back and saw Rush coming, pad in hand, pencil in mouth, glasses on, hair hiding part of his face. He passed Eli without seeing him and got into the mess. All the chats and noises quietened. He could hear still Rush's footsteps, then a chair moving, then probably the for and the knife, and maybe the spoon too against the plate or tray. It was all so silent that he could hear his own blood run on his ears.

 

The chair again, a “thank you” and Rush was out the mess. That was all so fast he had the urge to laugh. What the heck, man? He went in too, more confident now. Bad move. He had all eyes on him. Uh? Why?

 

He looked around helplessly until he spotted Chloe, took his ration and ran towards her. The live came again to the mess a second time.

 

“What the heck just happened here?” he asked the girl.

 

“You didn't see?” He shook his head. “Rush came in, all shut up and stared at him. He stared back and everybody looked away, then he took his meal and left. It was pretty awesome,” she giggled. “I think he was as uncomfortable as the people watching him.”

 

“I... see...” Eli could feel the stares at his back, and hear some comment.

 

“They came together, but Rush asked Eli to wait. I'm sure. They are in!”

 

“No way.”

 

“Yes!! I saw him coming out Rush's quarters the other day and he...”

 

Oh god! Not this. Not. This. Why? Why was he so careless as to let other people see him walking out Rush's quarters just after the had _sex_? He felt something on his hand. Chloe was patting it.

 

“Don't worry. When we find a new planet they will forget about this.”

 

“Yeah, well... I could deny it, but I think that will only fuel their imagination.”

 

She smiled faintly. “I think that Matt and I have broken up.” Tears on her eyes.

 

Eli looked at her. “What?”

 

She was still smiling, but it wasn't a happy one. “He is not the same. We can't make it work again. We tried... The other day, we tried and he couldn't, he couldn't...”

 

“Whoa, whoa! Stop it!” She stopped, and he saw her shivering. “Am... Let's go to another place, okay? We can talk about this in other place. The Observation Lounge?”

 

She nodded and looked down. They both tried to finish their meals, tried to swallow the lump on their throats. When neither could finish it, they left their trays there and went to their destination. There weren't people at these times. Earlier or latter will be a crowd of people working on their things or just relaxing.

 

“So... you are saying that...”

 

“We can't have sex.”

 

Eli almost choke with his own saliva. “Wh... what?”

 

She shifted, uncomfortable now. “His... he won't... get... hard... with me,” she said, so low and quietly Eli thought he might have imagined what she just told him.

 

“That... can't be possible.” She stared. He swallowed. “I mean, you are both in love, and young, and, excuse me but you are a real babe and I can't thing of only one man who wouldn't feel aroused..” he stopped, feeling his heart beating fast and blushing.

 

Chloe smiled at him. “Thanks, Eli, you are too sweet.”

 

He almost snorted. Yeah, sweet. When you tell someone you would fuck them you are being sweet. Wait, what? His eyes widened. He thought he was past that phase already. Oh, man. This was so wrong. He had... this perfect opportunity with Chloe right now, just when he was over it -more or less- and she... she... Oh, for Sylvanas' sake! This was more difficult than that time when he was trapped in the water temple and couldn't make Link's hook to hit the right spot in time to go to the boss and get the fucking Lake full of water again!

 

He took a trembling hand in his, caressing the skin and flexing the digits. “You see. I was like... in love with you,” he confessed, looking only at her hand. “Then I thought I was over it, and that I could think of you only as a friend, and then I had this accident with _Fate_ and was tangled with Rush before I could blink and then you are now telling me that your idyllic, perfect love with the love of your life is wrecked by the same person who I am sure is the last who would want to hurt you this deeply because, and I can assure you, he is fond of you and maybe even think of you as his daughter or niece or pupil or whatever and I am feeling really confused right now,” he rambled off, not stopping to breath until he had said all of it. Then, only then, he looked up, afraid he would lose her friendship.

 

She looked wrong, with wide eyes, pale, her lower lip trembling, and those tears falling at last down her cheeks. She looked wrong because, even when she looked bad, she was beautiful like this. Or maybe he was the one who was wrong?

 

“You... Are you saying that Matt... That he...”

 

Oh, god. He rolled his eyes, she ignored his love confession. Which was good because he was not in love with her. Not anymore. “What I am trying to say is that... I don't know what I am trying to say. This is confusing, and strange and wrong and...”

 

“Wait.” He stopped. “Did you say that you _and_ Rush...?”

 

His cheeks reddened. “Em...”

 

“I see,” she smiled a little. “I knew I was right. But, you two, are not...”

 

“Oh, no! No, no, no, no. It's only temporal,” he assured her. “You see, I am feeling weird, and based on what I know about _Fate_ and what Rush discovered himself about it, I'm deadly sure that when Rush gives birth... or when the baby is a month or two old, _Fate_ will switch off and leave us alone. It's messing with us right now. Maybe it's acting weird because different people touched it and only one is pregnant, I don't know for sure, but it was made to make up couples, and that it's only one... let's say “female” in the group...”

 

“Wait, wait. Are you saying that _Fate_ took Rush as _female_?”

 

He looked at her, blankly, for a moment. “Am... yeah. That's it. Wow! I didn't thought of that! Maybe _Fate_ saw us like alfa males or something and to make sure the species goes on with the best genes we have to impregnate the mare and...”

 

“Woh, woh, woh! Stop that! You make it sound like some kind of animal documentary.”

 

“Mm... Yes... It's... weird.”

 

She giggled. Then laughed, really laughed. Then he laughed. And in a few moments they were both on the floor, fighting to breath over the laughter.

 

***

 

Oh, fuck, no. Please, no, not him!, thought Rush when he saw the airman coming down to where he was, smiling. He knew that smile. He bloody knew that smile.

 

“Congratulations from Homeworld Command,” he said.

 

Rush didn't bothered to look up at him. Just snarled, continuing with his work.

 

“C'mon, Nick, say something,” he said, the laugh in his voice. Mockingly.

 

“Go to Hell, David.”

 

“Nick, please.”

 

He was asking for a fist on his face. Pleading, almost. “Fuck. Off.”

 

“Don't be like that. They mean no harm. Maybe some of them got surprised. You see, they think you are unable to be with another human be...”

 

“Shut up, would you? Can't you see I am working?”

 

Col. Telford smiled. “Yes, I can. But also I know that this is not something that can't wait. I can read ancient too, Nick.”

 

Rush looked up. They were close. “You are a dick.”

 

“I have one, indeed.”

 

“Thanks, but I don't want to know what you might or might not have between your legs.”

 

“You are such a sweet,” he said, ruffling his hair.

 

“Stop that, won't you? You are annoying me.”

 

“Aw, come on, Nick, let's have some fun.”

 

“Some fun? Since when are we friendly enough to _have some fun_ together?”

 

“Since now?”

 

“Fuck off. Now!”

 

“But you call me David, and I call you Nick.”

 

Rush sighed, trying to keep his hands from punching him. “We are both old enough to see that I don't use your name like the rest of your pals,” he said, feeling his patience running low. “And we both know that you only started to call me Nick to piss me off.”

 

“But it's cute, isn't it,” he said, still playful. Then leaned in and whispered. “Nicky would be better?”

 

He looked at him, closed expression. He would _strangle_ this man if he continued like this.

 

“No? Aw, I thought it could be.”

 

Pam! He punched him. Blood came from his nose. Sorry, he thought, directing his apologies to the owner of the body.

 

“Auch! Bloody hell!”

 

“Will you let me work in peace now?” he asked, as if nothing wrong had happened.

 

Telford glared at him. He grinned back. “You shouldn't be this violent, you know?”

 

“Whatever,” he dismissed.

 

“I hope I can be here to see you when the time comes,” he said, signalling towards his belly, vengeful, before turning and leaving.

 

This erased the smirk on his face. Yes. The childbirth would be painful. The birth... He looked down. Fucking bastard! Always coming to get on his nerves.

 

***

 

“So, um, care to tell me why do you think you and Matt are...?” Eli said after they calmed down.

 

“Well.. The fact that he went yesterday and sneaked in Rush's quarters and didn't come out all night until this morning, I am pretty sure we can't be together anymore.”

 

Eli had his mouth wide open, the same as his eyes. When he found his voice again, he asked shakily. “Have you talked with Rush yet?”

 

She gave him a side smile. “No, not yet. I'm afraid of him.”

 

“Why?” She looked at him, as if he was insane. “No, I mean, why should you. If... he is with... Matt and such, why don't you confront them? You have all the rights-”

 

“It's not like that, Eli.” She sighed, entangling their hands. “I... I respect him, and I have done that once. But at this point I'm not sure either of us can be in the same room with each other.” She looked away. “I saw it this morning in the mess. He avoided me. He feels guilty. He had done something bad, which I suspect is sleeping with Matt and...”

 

She stopped. Enough of all this drama. If it was bound to end, so be it. She rubbed the tears from her cheeks with her other hand.

 

“Thanks for staying with me, and listening, Eli.”

 

“Yeah, you're welcome.” He got up. “Well, I have some business to do, so, see you later.”

 

She nodded.

 

***

 

“C'mon, ladies and gentlemen, I'm taking bets. C'mon. I take any bets!”

 

The mess hall was in an uproar. It had been almost a month or so -maybe month and a half- and the father of Rush's child was still unknown. Nobody had come out yet, and Rush's stomach was swollen. Taking pity on him, some had donated to him a few larger t-shirts and shirts. The man had become even more unsociable than before, hissing to anyone who dared to loot at his belly or talk about his pregnancy.

 

And they didn't approach. Yet. Because someone told another that Rush hissing was cute. And then everybody thought about his “cuteness”. Because any woman pregnant was a beauty, so any man must be a cutie.

 

Soon enough, people were lining up to touch his growing belly, asking all sort of questions, to which Rush didn't answered. Also, they always tried to get him to tell who the other father was, at which point he would close his lips in a thin line and look like he might murder someone. At first, they thought that wrath was directed to them, but shortly after that they realised it was towards the other father. Surely for getting him pregnant.

 

They also found that now that the truth was out, col. Telford came more than ever just to tease Rush. He would even ignore his chats with col. Young to go straight to Rush and get on his nerves. Though the crew had started to be present in those occasions to prevent Rush from strangling him. It wouldn't do if they lost some valuable member of the crew, right?

 

So, their _epic battles_ , as Eli named their encounters, had more and more witnesses, and therefore their comments sharpened. This time, he was in Lt. Scott's body, which made Rush even more irritable.

 

“So, you good with your baby, Nick? I can see it from here now, you are _so_ big.”

 

“Thanks for stating it, Captain Obvious.”

 

“Oh, Nick! I am _Colonel_ Obvious.”

 

And Rush glared. Point taken. More or less. Rush was looking at him with his patented glare stop-wasting-the-air-I-need-and-go-away-you-moron, named by Eli too.

 

“ _Obviously_ , you are a dickhead,” he said, quietly to himself. But of course he was heard.

 

“Going so low as to use insults?”

 

“You want me to insult you? I will, piece of moronic waste of energy, space, air and resources. I am still wondering how is it that you are still _here_ , how did you managed to be a colonel and not get killed in the process, because I am sure you would have died several times if it wasn't for someone else who saved your ass the same several times.”

 

“Don't get nostalgic, Nick. Maybe now that you are going to be a daddy you are looking back at when you could-”

 

“Get lost, for fuck's sake! I can't and won't take any of your crap today, so get lost, stop being a waste of my time and do something productive for a change.”

 

Well. Maybe this one wasn't going as well as they all figured out. But since there was a small crowd watching neither would get to the hands. Probably. In the end, Telford got behind Rush and read what was on the screen, suggesting changes here and there, nothing too technical nor remotely near the expertise of Rush so he wouldn't piss the man off. More. That's it.

 

The public disbanded eventually, lasting only a handful of people. At some part, Telford had rested a hand over Rush's shoulder, leaning in while looking at the screen and still discussing things about the text before them.

 

“Uf... I don't know if Matt will like that,” Eli mumbled.

 

“What are you talking about?” Volker looked up and towards Telford and Rush. “Ah! I see. Well, he will have to deal with it. It seems that colonel Telford and Dr. Rush had some sort of past together.”

 

“Yeah. I heard. Something like blasting a few planets?”

 

Volker smirked. “Not that much. But blasting a few bases.”

 

Eli looked in horror at Volker. He shook his head.“Anyway, Matt's pretty jealous or have developed a strong sense of possessiveness over Rush after he found out about their ba...” Fuck, shit, _crap_. He looked at Volker. Volker stared back, mouth open.

 

“Are you for real?”

 

“Eh... No?”

 

“Oh... my god. _Lieutenant Scott_ is the other father of Rush's child?”

 

But before he could answer there was a crackle of the radio, all radios, and someone calling for a volunteer to go and get Dr. Lam. Rush disappeared in the blink of an eye. And Eli followed him. He wasn't avoiding Volker, nope, not at all. He was following Rush to... to the infirmary. Where Lt. Vanessa James lied on a bed, at her side Camile Wray, both with pale faces.

 

Rush looked from one to the other. Then smirked. “What did I told you about **not** touching _Fate_?”

 

“But... I told you, I was good.”

 

Eli was missing something. Something big.

 

Rush folded his arms. “Well. Can I suppose the other is Camile here?” he pointed out. Both women's cheeks reddened. “I see. Well then, congratulations.”

 

“But we still don't know...” started to complain Camile.

 

Eli narrowed his eyes, starting to get what was going on, eyes flickering from one woman to another.

 

Rush stopped her raising a hand. “I know the symptoms myself, and you said what you said that happened after. Also, I told you that these _Fate_ device were made one for a couple. If you wanted to play, I would have let you see -from afar, that's it- the one who was actually active and compromised. Instead you got another _Fate_ device **on**.” He was scolding them.

 

“I was just curious about-” but James couldn't finish because Chloe entered the room. Well, not Chloe, Dr. Lam.

 

“What's the problem?” she asked looking instantly at Rush.

 

“Oh! It's not me this time.” He nodded towards James.

 

After the ultrasonic was on, in the screen they could watch the insides of the lieutenant. It was clear that she had no ovaries, but she had an uterus, and in there, they could see small forms.

 

“Oh... Ohhh!” Eli said, excited. “You are pregnant? You are pregnant! Congratulations! Who is the father?”

 

“I... ah... Tha...thanks?” she answered.

 

Eli smiled at her, but his look came back to the screen when Dr. Lam made a noise. “Woooh! Twins?” he said.

 

Camile was looking at the screen, not even aware she was holding the soldier's hand in a tight grip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mmm... I don't think if this ended up being funny or not. Oo What do you think? Funny or not?


	9. In which Chloe takes action, bis.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chloe is pissed at Rush, and shows it to him... And, other stuff happens too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Notes** : I want to remember you that this is mostly OoC, without beta and a complete mess. :D I don't know where I am headed so... have fun until it last! xDD
> 
>  **Disclaimer** : Hey! I always forget to add this. SG·U and it's characters and settings aren't mine, just the story and what I make them do.

**9\. In which Chloe takes action, bis.**

 

 _Some nights after the second_ Fate _was discovered._

 

Vanessa James stood there, looking at the thing. They had agreed that the _Fate_ devices should be watched and under no situation let anybody touch them. Dr. Rush had told them that he thought there might be more _Fates_ on board and they were banned of moving them, touching them, or even looking at them.

 

Vanessa couldn't understand why. It seemed pretty normal, and not dangerous at all. It wasn't moving nor glowing, and certainly she couldn't think of a thing less menacing. Maybe a kitten, and even kittens had claws. She sighed, looking away, at Becker, who stood there like her, in watching sift. She was sooo bored. She yawned.

 

The swish of the door made them tense and straighten their backs. Camile Wray entered the room.

 

“Good night,” she greeted. “I am here doing a favour, so, Airman Becker, you can go rest.”

 

Becker nodded, smiling faintly and blinked tiredly. “Thank god. I was so bored. And tomorrow I have to get up earlier to make the breakfast.” He nodded again towards Vanessa and was gone.

 

She looked at Camile. “Why are you here?”

 

“Because he is our cook, and we need him rested if we want decent meals.”

 

“No, really, why?”

 

Camile looked at her, hesitant. “Well... I am, in fact, feeling a bit lonely and I thought...”

 

Vanessa chuckled. “You can't be serious. Doc said clearly that we can't touch it.”

 

“Yes. I know. And... Well... I have known about his condition almost from the beginning. I always wondered where did he hid the thing that got him pregnant. I... I want a baby, you see? I wanted one with Sharon but...”

 

“We don't know if it will work with only one person, though. Wouldn't it be better to wait until...?”

 

“I know I'm being selfish, but I kind of envy Rush right now.” She blushed faintly, while smiling.

 

Vanessa sighed. “I don't want to know what you will do with that.” And moved towards the door. Sure, she was curious about how the thing worked. Maybe she should stay and watch. Anyway, she was out of danger, since she had no ovaries. Bad memory, hospitals, surgery. Before she reached the door she heard a noise and turned. She saw Camile swearing without words, hand on her shin, the other on the table, over _Fate_ which still wasn't reacting. “What happened?”

 

“I hit my shin with the table,” she answered with a teary voice.

 

Vanessa sighed again and approached her. Bad move. When she approached, _Fate_ started to glow and a few seconds later she found herself rising from the floor.

 

“What the heck?”

 

They looked at each other, in awe. What was that?

 

***

 

_Current time._

 

“So, we have twins now. Congratulations. This is going to be very difficult,” Dr. Lam said, with a smile on her lips. “Just for the record, who's the father? It'll help greatly knowing his medical...”

 

“It's not a man,” Lieutenant James rushed to answer, turning red. “It's a woman. I don't know how it happened, I only know that I am pregnant with the babies of another woman.”

 

Maybe the young woman was starting to panic. Rush took Eli and got out the infirmary. They needed time now. What was the word? Fan-bloody-tastic? Yes! It was going to be a hell from now on. Well, more hellish than before. He sighed in relief. Thanks to them he wouldn't be the centre of attention now. Right? Because, you know, a woman getting another woman pregnant... It was as strange as a man getting another man, but still it was pretty amazing and more recent. _Recentness_ counted more that _surprising_. And even when people would be that surprised by him being pregnant, or even had had sex with another human being, James was better liked and so, she would be the new... _prey_. Oh! Twins, don't forget the twins.

 

“What's going on between you and Matt?”

 

He looked up, surprised by Eli's presence. He had forgotten he was there.

 

“What?”

 

“Yes, what. I mean. Chloe thinks, _really_ thinks that they have broken up.”

 

He looked down, thinking, then up. “Clearly that's none of your business.” And he left a gaping disappointed, aggravated Eli.

 

But, really, that's was not his business. Why should he answer that? To him? That was something he should talk with Chloe, and stop getting to bed with Scott. Because he had to stop that. It couldn't happen another new time. He... He had betrayed her. Willingly. Device or not, it was his fault. He pressed a hand over his eyes. This... was going to hurt. Because she would hit him. Hard. He knew. He could picture it. And, because the betrayal sting. He had told her he wouldn't...

 

Looking up he decided to go and get some work done. There were still too many holes in the hull of the ship that needed to be repaired. And he had to take a look at what Mr. Brody needed for his plan of fixing some of the worst.

 

After a day in which he could manage to get some work done, and the rest of the crew learned about the new babies on board, he went to his quarters, feeling a kino following him. He ignored it and forgot about it when he found Chloe sitting before the door to his room. As soon as she saw him, she got up and went to confront him. He saw her coming, but not her hand. She slapped him with all her might, rage, disappointment, sadness. He clenched his jaw in the last moment, evading a possible unwanted biting.

 

“I hope you are happy,” she said, anger on her voice.

 

“I am not,” he snarled back. They locked eyes, furrowing. None said a word for a long time, and Rush took this chance to lick his bleeding lip. She had managed to break his lower lip right in the middle. It hurt, less than the cheek, but the bleeding was more unpleasant.

 

“Well.”

 

“Well what?”

 

“Aren't you going to apologise?” she demanded.

 

“Why should I?”

 

She slapped him again with the other hand, his other cheek. “Why are you being like this?”

 

“How?”

 

“Difficult to deal with!” she almost yelled to his face, coming close. She was taller than him, but he was sure that he could butt-head her and get into his quarters... Though it was better to not avoid this and get over it.

 

He grinned, not feeling the least happy. “I am who I am.” Rush crossed his arms. “We can continue this here or we can go in and have a seat,” he motioned towards his room. Truth be told, his back hurt, and his legs hurt, and he was feeling tired, and slightly dizzy, and nauseous.

 

“Okay. Let's talk inside.” She followed him.

 

Neither paid attention to the kino that came in after her and before the door closed.

 

“I can't apologise to you,” he said after long minutes not looking at her, which he used to take off his shoes, loosened his belt and sat in the bed, legs up. “Because I don't know if given similar situations I wouldn't repeat the same mistake.”

 

She groaned in anger. “That's exactly why you have to apologise! You knew you were doing something wrong, and I can tell you are feeling guilty,” she scolded him.

 

He huffed, throwing his head back very slightly. “Yes, I am. But I can't apologise for something I indeed will enjoy...”

 

“As long as it last,” she pointed out.

 

“...and that can be repeated being how sneaky your puppy resulted to be,” he continued. She frowned. “What?”

 

“He is not my puppy. And I'll have a word or two with him after this.”

 

“Well, I hope those two _words_ will be as strong as the ones you slapped on my face.”

 

She couldn't help but smile and when she realised what she was doing, she stopped it. “Don't get cute with me!”

 

“I'm not getting cute,” he complained, getting his lower lip in his mouth to caress the wound with the tongue. “I am not cute. I can't be cute.”

 

She gave him a look like she thought he couldn't expect at this time not to be called cute when almost the whole crew wanted to ruffle his hair and touch his swollen stomach. He stared back, offended. Chloe couldn't help another smile.

 

“Okay. Good. Why?”

 

“Why what?”

 

“Why didn't you stop him?”

 

He barked a laugh. “You can't expect that a man thinks with his brain when all the necessary blood for it to function is concentrated in the dick.” She gave Rush an incredulous look at his words. “Look, lass, when a body reacts, it reacts. The pregnancy have all my hormones in uproar and when I am hard I _can't_ think straight. I needed sex, I wanted sex, and he...”

 

She winced. It's not like she was there to talk about his sex life. Not at all. “So he was in the correct moment and place.”

 

“More or less.”

 

She looked at him, surprised. “Would you do the same with whom ever...?”

 

“Maybe, I don't know. And I am not at all eager to test that possibility.”

 

“Oh my God. You sure are messed up.”

 

“You tell me.”

 

She couldn't help but feel pity for him. Poor Rush, ruled by his hormones. It wasn't enough for her to forgive him completely, but it was for her to feel bad about him and want to help. Again.

 

“Okay, this is what we are going to do.”

 

“ _We_?” he asked, fearful.

 

“Lisa, TJ, Camile – well, Camile not, she will be taking care of Vanessa for the time being – and me will act again as a shield for you. We will avoid any other male to get in contact with you – as in not letting them stay alone with you – to prevent any similar outcome as the one with Matt. Of course, Matt will be our first target. Do you have any other name you would prefer to avoid more than the rest?”

 

Instantly he though about Young. He was about to say it, to pronounce his name when he stopped himself. Did he wanted to not be able to stay alone with any other male aboard the ship? Scott was the logical one, since, well, since Chloe was doing this out of spite, for sure. But what about Young? Or..., a tiny part of his mind whispered, Eli?

 

“We can try and keep at bay Colonel Young and Eli too,” Chloe offered.

 

He almost jumped out of his skin. How much they knew? “If you wish,” he tailed off. “But I must warn you, that if I were to be in a similar situation I would do whatever I could to avoid your 'contention wall' and go in search for release.” At her uncomprehending face, he explained, rolling his eyes. “Sexual release. I'll go look for someone to have sex with me. Only masturbation can't get me satisfied enough.” He almost grinned when she made a face of disgust, but he kept his face straight.

 

“Ugh... Eh... I didn't need to know that much, you see?”

 

“Whatever.”

 

She looked at him for several seconds, frown growing deeper by the second. “I wonder...”

 

“Wonder what?”

 

She got up from the chair she had been using and sit beside Rush, then, she touched his face with both her hands. He winced. Of course, it must hurt. Both his cheeks were still red. Then, she just leaned in and kissed him. Taken by surprise he opened his mouth to protest when she caught his bottom lip between hers and tasted his wound with her tongue. He hissed in pain.

 

“You don't seem to kiss that well,” she said, disappointed, when she withdrew.

 

He scowled. “Why the bloody hell did you have to do that? It hurts!” Rush complained, clearly talking about his injured lip.

 

“What? You talking about that and not about the kiss?”

 

“You aren't that great either, lad. I know horns that kiss better than you.”

 

“How do you know about _horns_ that kiss better than me?”

 

“Because I do. Now, if we are done, I would like to sleep. Thank you very much.”

 

“I just kissed you and-”

 

“I really couldn't care the less about that, lass. All I care about is getting in my bed. To sleep.”

 

She looked offended. Really offended. “I can't understand why Matt comes back at you every time.”

 

“Well, then. When you figure out come and tell me. I'll change whatever it is to prevent it to happen. Now, please,” he pointer towards the door with a hand.

 

She huffed and left. The kino, which neither knew was there, took this opportunity to get out.

 

***

 

Eli and Col. Young were in the younger's quarters. As soon as Eli knew when would Chloe confront Rush about what happened with Matt he put a kino to follow the doctor. The problem with this kino was that the microphone was damaged and he hadn't had time to go get another new. But it was okay, he supposed, since the kino could record it.

 

Colonel Young came in to ask a few question which were forgotten as soon as he looked at the screen. Eli wasn't fast enough and the colonel saw Rush in.

 

“Why are you following Rush?”

 

“Ehh... Uh...”

 

“Well, let's see what's he is up to this time,” the colonel said, nonchalant.

 

Eli felt trapped here. “Em, yes, let's see.”

 

After a few moments, he explained that this kino was damaged and there wouldn't be any sound, so it was only video. Young nodded.

 

The watched Rush walking towards his room, sometimes stopping to lean on a wall with one hand while the other was at his back. He wasn't that big yet, but it seemed that his non-prepared-for-child-birth male body was feeling sore already.

 

When the scientist approached his quarters they saw a person waiting for him in front of them, sitting on the floor. It was Chloe. She jumped up when she saw Rush and ran towards him. Eli and Young were surprised when she slapped him. It was an eternity before they talked, then stopped talking.

 

Neither man could help a light moan when they saw Rush licking his bleeding lip. Eli felt the impulse to go to him and... _taste_ it. He glanced sideways towards Young. The colonel hadn't move, straight face, cool appearance. He focused on the screen again. Another moan when Rush got his lip inside his mouth, releasing it slowly, coming out shiny with saliva and swollen by the wound.

 

Why was that so porn-like?, thought Eli. It could be just him, seeing things where there wasn't any. His imagination, only that, playing tricks to him.

 

It was all boring, if you excluded the part when Rush took off his belt and lied on the bed. Boring again. If only this stupid kino wasn't damaged! Talk, talk, talk. More talk, surely. Then Chloe gets up, sits down near Rush and kisses him, tasting his lips, his blood.

 

“What the hell?” Eli jumped from his seat, heart beating hard on his chest, breathing fast.

 

“Calm down, kid.”

 

Eli looked at Young. He was still so compose... Wait. What was that? A... A twitch on his lip. He was angry too. Jealous? Oh, my GOSH! Young? But... Oh my _GOSH_!

 

“Well, now we know there is something going on between Chloe and Rush too,” said the colonel, maybe a little bitter, before going.

 

Latter on, Eli discovered that the kino wasn't damaged and that it had recorded all the conversation too. It was just a failure in some archive, a problem with the streaming to his computer, because when he replayed it, he could hear the whole conversation and discover something about the crazy-girls team... And about Rush's sexual needs.

 

He was so glad that Young wasn't there when he re-opened the file. Now, he could be one step ahead of Matt... and apparently of Young too.

 

***

 

What was worst than having col. Telford bothering you aboard _Destiny_? Correct! Col. Telford in the body of Col. Young. Two colonels for the price of one. Fantastic, yes? Well, no. It was horrific, dreadful, and kind of annoying. More so, he wanted to strangled him so much. Rush, that's it. Rush wanted to strangled Telford, because the colonel was smiling like that. That smile that predicted nothing good was about to happen.

 

“What?” he almost barked this time.

 

“Why so sour this soon? I haven't done or said anything yet to irritate you.”

 

“Yet.”

 

Telford chuckled, but it wasn't his chuckle, it was Young's, and that made him shudder a little. “Yet. But don't worry, I am here to make peace, not war.”

 

Rush sighed. “Well, we had had something to discuss anyway. There's a briefing in two hours.”

 

“No, Rush, I'll stay only about one and half. I have to talk with _you_ , not with them.”

 

Rush frowned. “This isn't about _Destiny_ , is it?”

 

Telford nodded. “It's about your little new device. I have to come back with some more information. Not just that 'report' you made.”

 

Now it was Rush's turn to laugh. “Yes, well, I wrote that while angry, you see?”

 

“Yes, and it was almost illegible by all the swearing, curses and comments you made about it.”

 

“What can I say? I'm Scottish,” he had an amused smirk on his lips.

 

Young's face twitched with an emotion he hadn't seen before, then went back to Telford's sarcastic grin, that grin that promised some unwanted surprise. And Telford granted it. He took one of Rush's arms and twisted it on his back, trapping him.

 

“Fuck,” Rush breathed, surprised. “What do you thing you are doing?”

 

“Hah! I am preventing you from going anywhere.”

 

“I'm not going-”

 

“Oh, not right now, but before you were about to run away. I saw it in your eyes.”

 

Rush had a crooked smile, but Telford couldn't see it, since he was looking at Rush's neck. “You know me so well,” he said,a little sarcastic.

 

“Not that well, but well enough, Nick.”

 

“Okay, I see your point. Now, release me David, I don't think I can take this in my current state.”

 

Telford let go. “You used to like it, in the past.”

 

Rush turned around to look at the colonel with raised brows and an amused expression. “Yes, used to like it. It was interesting having those lessons on self-defence. But now I am not in a condition...”

 

Telford looked away, as Rush did. It fell an awkward silence upon them. “Sorry. I didn't intent to hurt you.”

 

Rush gave him a disbelieving look. Telford shrugged. “I'll tell you what I know thus far about _Fate_ , _but_ you will be the one writing the report. I had written it already, I don't want to do it twice.”

 

“If that's all what I'll get.”

 

Rush was surprised that Telford's presence wasn't as unwelcoming this time. He thought that it was because Telford was in Young's body. It felt oddly reassuring. It was easier talking with him now, and Telford wasn't teasing him that much today. In fact, he thought, this might be caused exactly because of Young's body.

 

It was Young's face, and his hands and his voice. And he, Rush, hadn't found his proximity as a bad omen in a long time now. Though he thought that sometimes he caught Young looking, staring, at him with a strange look in his eyes. He looked at Telford, and the colonel looked back. Telford leaned in, and for a moment there Rush thought he might kiss him. But the colonel just tilted his head.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“No.” Was the answer.

 

“Do you want to talk about that?”

 

“No.”

 

“Is it about _Fate_?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Then, even if you don't want to, you have to. So, please, tell me: how can _Fate_ get a woman pregnant with the child of another woman?”

 

Rush looked at Telford with some kind of smirk, almost a grin. “How can that device get a man pregnant with the child of another man?” he asked back.

 

Telford looked surprised. He stepped back and looked away, thinking of a response. When he found none, he looked back at Rush, who was still grinning, not amused, as if it was a mask and not his face.

 

“I'll tell you: in the case of men, it creates an artificial womb and makes the body develop some new organs. If it's the first time, it'll take longer, and so the pregnancy won't get discovered until later. If it's women, it doesn't need to do that, so just gets the genetic code from one and inserts it to the other.”

 

“Yes, but how?”

 

Rush looked amused now. He raised his brows and chuckled shortly. “I never thought you would need a lesson about sexuality.”

 

Telford frowned, and Rush laughed lower. The scientist looked like he was mocking the colonel. At this point –Rush leaning with a hand on the nearest table, laughing his ass off, even crying– Telford was totally convinced that Rush was, effectively, mocking him.

 

“You know what I was asking,” he said, sulking, glaring at Rush, who was now seated, bent over, trying to catch his breath through the fit of laughter.

 

“Yes, sorry. I couldn't help myself.”

 

“Okay, now, please, answer the question.”

 

“Well... That's a good question, but I'm not trained in that field, you will have to ask a biologist.”

 

Telford rolled his eyes.

 

“We had one, but she decided to play adventurer and got lost. So if you want to know more you will need to get on board some. I think I can work with them, but they will have to follow _all_ my commands. I don't want to have more _Fate_ devices on.”

 

Telford nodded. “How much devices do you think that are in _Destiny_?”

 

“Maybe... about two thousand or so. They have different shapes and colours. Eli thinks that's because the one who developed them got requests of them, like people wanting one specially done for them.”

 

“So, not more going into _Destiny's_ storages?”

 

“Hah! As if you could stop that. What we need to do is precisely that, find all the _Fate's_ device and lock them together, so situations like mine or Lt. James won't repeat, unless both parties want it.”

 

***

 

“So, we have one team mate less,” said Chloe when they were all in the small conference room.

 

“I'm not out at all. I can be with Rush like this as an excuse. See? He knows more about _Fate_ and the condition in which I am now.”

 

“No, Vanessa. We can't ask you this. You have _twins_ , you should take care.”

 

“TJ, you were trotting the first months of your pregnancy all over the ship and you were good.”

 

Silence fell upon them. It still was a difficult topic for them, more than for TJ. She had accepted the fact that she had lost her child, but people around her still avoided to talk with her about pregnancies and babies.

 

“You are right. But I didn't know I was pregnant as soon as you. That's why you won't-”

 

“Rush rummages all around the fucking ship, even getting _in the vents_! He is not a soldier like me. I can be his shadow,” Vanessa cut her.

 

Chloe sighed. “Okay, okay. Vanessa, you will be with Rush, but we will be too. We can change the schedule now, and... Why are all of you smiling like that?”

 

“You are so cute when vengeful,” Camile said, talking for the first time since coming in. “I think you are going too far with this. Rush is not a child.”

 

“But it is _fun_ to see the guys getting all nervous,” TJ said. They all laughed.

 

“I can't believe we are still doing this.”

 

“Ah! I know why you want to continue, Chloe.” Vanessa smiled at the girl. “It's not all about Matt, it's about Doc too. You want to get on his nerves.”

 

“What can I say? I know he likes to be alone,” she replied mischievously. “You know, girls just wanna have fun,” she added, winking.

 

“Well, I have a briefing to attend on Earth, I'll be back.” Camile got up and walked away.

 

It wasn't exactly a lie, she had a meeting to give some crucial information, but it wasn't at the SGC, it was at her house. She had to talk with Sharon, and she didn't how to tell her this. Camile felt so afraid of all of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there are going to happen interesting things next chapter x3 But if somebody what's me to focus on some matter specially, I can do it as long as I am told that.
> 
> Also, **Duval** , check this mini fragment from next chapter ;)
> 
> " _“Sometimes I thought you only wanted to give me lessons in self-defence so you could touch me.” Rush said._  
>  _Telford was there, sitting right behind him, looking serious._ " So, what do you think Telford will answer? *Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.*


	10. In which a desire is born

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rush gets snatched away, sort of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Notes** : Hi there, this chapter, as the rest, will contain OoC, I wrote it without beta, so... crappy English and awkward phrasing. :D And... insults, I am sure I wrote some.
> 
> **Disclaimer** : SG·U and it's characters and settings aren't mine, just the story and what I make them do.

**10\. In which a desire is born**

 

When Chloe put her plan on, she didn't know that what she would obtain was a grumpier Rush, frantic Eli, unfocussed Matt and a quieter colonel. She didn't mind the three first, but the colonel worried her. It was like he had decided to retreat into himself, not wanting to be near anyone. It was worrisome since he was the commander of the ship. But sometimes, he came back to being himself. She knew when were those times: in the mess hall. Whenever Rush passed near him, the colonel would close his eyes and breath through his nose in deep concentration.

 

TJ had told her what Young and Matt said about their want, their need. And so, she watched how Matt would brush his fingertips at the minimal opportunity. Matt craved for skin, so he always aimed to the hands, not doubting he would go for other parts if he could. But he couldn't, not in front of anyone else, even if that anyone else was blind.

 

But with Eli it was different. Eli didn't look like he needed to touch or to smell. What was what Eli needed? Maybe just see? He stared at Rush sometimes with big eyes, almost sweating. And Rush was aware of that, Chloe saw it on the way he moved. But it wasn't that long until she found out. It was just some days after she had slapped Rush, she had bridge shift, Lisa was in charge of watching him.

 

When she came to the Apple Core, she found that both Eli and Rush had disappeared. Lisa gave her a kino control, knowing by now all the buttons and it's functions by heart. She couldn't go after them without a good excuse, but she set a kino to follow them.

 

“Eli was missing things and making small mistakes. Rush could fix it, but he was getting exasperate. So he asked Eli to follow him to his mathematical equation's corridor to check on some,” she said.

 

Chloe thanked her and started to walk towards there, but she thought better and stopped on a room near there and watched through the kino. The small floating ball was following them through _Destiny's_ almost empty corridors. Eli followed Rush like a sentenced to death, shoulders hunched, looking at the floor, dragging his feet as he walked. Rush, on the other hand, was stiff, nervous, but walked with strong confident steps.

 

He hit the release of the door. The swish made Eli look up. They really were on the math's corridor. They both entered and Chloe hurried the kino to follow. Rush closed the door on the other side and locked it, then, leaned on a wall free from his scribblings, arms crossed.

 

“Care to explain?”

 

“I can't... concentrate. Not if you are here.” Eli shifted, uncomfortable.

 

Rush sighed. “Okay, come here. Do what you need to do, and then back to work.” Eli looked at him, surprised. “You know what I mean. Try not to leave any marks.”

 

Eli nodded and walked towards him while he unfolded his arms. Eli put his hands on both sides of Rush body, at the waists level. Then, unsure, he leaned over and buried his face in the crook of Rush's neck, sticking out his tongue, tracing upwards and leaving a wet trail of saliva. The boy moaned and went for more, nibbling slightly, strong enough to redden the skin, but not so much it would last.

 

Rush had his lips parted, and his eyes closed. But he didn't move. His hands laid on his sides, fisted. As if he feared he could touch Eli back. Chloe looked away. This was too intimate for her to watch. Feeling her cheeks hot, she switched the screen off, and went back to the Apple Core.

 

At lunch time, Chloe sat with Camile and other civilians, eyeing the place where Eli, Lisa, Brody and Rush sat. After every mouthful of meal Rush took, he licked his injured lip. It was an unconscious movement, it seemed like the man wasn't even aware of doing that. But that was enough to distract Eli from his meal, and Matt, who just entered the mess, and the colonel, who was a few tables away.

 

Chloe giggled inwardly. It was fun. Rush himself could drive them crazy by doing nothing. Just standing in the same room and they go wild, she thought. But the spell was broken when an airman entered too and spotted Rush with a smile.

 

“What's that, Nick? You got yourself into a fight?” he said with a cheerful tone, sitting right beside Eli and in front of Rush.

 

“Got to hell, David,” Rush sneered, and went back to his task of eating, and licking.

 

“Stop that, Nick. You will make it worse. Just eat and then clean it with water. If you keep liking it, the wound will just get...”

 

“I don't need your advice, thank you,” Rush cut, making the colonel laugh.

 

Telford got up and patted Rush on the shoulder. “See you latter, then.” He walked towards Young and sat with him to discuss something. Rush finished his meal and went out, mumbling insults.

 

***

 

Colonel Telford came again in Young's body a few days later. He had a briefing with them, while Young was having one in Earth. Rush had an obviously big stomach by now and Dr. Lam had told him that in matter of weeks he should stay in bed all day. Eli talked about making a floating chair for him, but Rush preferred the other option: stay in his quarters, untroubled. He was now more in than out, and felt tired easily, pain in the small of his back, as his column stained by the effort to support him and the baby. He felt his feet hurt, too.

 

So it wasn't that surprising when he stayed on his seat and didn't get up when the briefing was done. It was also not surprise when he refused the help to get to his quarters, but to Telford, it was. So he stayed too. Rush huffed when he got up, leaning heavily on his hands over the table.

 

“Holy cow, man, you are big!” exclaimed the colonel.

 

“Fuck off, prick.” Was the answer. Rush was obviously annoyed.

 

“Do you need help?” Telford asked, slightly worried.

 

“Do I look like I want it?” Rush was clever with his answer. He might look like he needed help, but he didn't want it. And he said it clearly.

 

“C'mon, Nick, let me help,” he replied, coming closer, rolling his eyes.

 

“No, I don't want your help. What I want is going back and lay down on my bed and be left alone.”

 

“Don't be like this.” By now, Telford stood by his side, one and almost reaching Rush's arm.

 

Rush glared at him. “Why are you being so nice? I don't have any secret information that could be a threat.”

 

Telford laughed, putting his arm around Rush, unbalancing him so he had to lean on the colonel. “You may not have a secret in which I am interested, but you sure have secrets. You always had,” he retorted.

 

Though Rush was still complaining, he let Telford help him walk pass the door, down the corridor towards his quarters. In their way the people they passed stared at them, surprised. Of course, what they saw was Rush leaning on Colonel Young, not Rush being helped by Colonel Telford. And, of course, the word spred and Lt. Scott was with them in a heart-beat.

 

Telford welcomed the young man with a smile, Rush with a grunt, but let him help too. He was feeling too sore to let it pass. Neither of them thought about when was the last time they had been this close. It was that that got Chloe break up with Scott.

 

The colonel couldn't help but notice that Scott's hands and arms where touching as much as they could, as if it was a necessity for the youngster, to _touch_. It was interesting. Rush had told him that one of the side effects of _Fate_ was to increase the sexual desires through the senses, mostly the touch, the smell and the taste. And he had confided in him by telling him that Eli and Scott had those.

 

But he kept to himself who had the smell. However, Telford had discovered it right after exchanging his mind with Young. He had felt it, the need to bury his face on Rush neck and breath. He had had a hard time trying to suppress it, since he didn't though Young would welcome him doing that in his body. But, then again, Young was affected by _Fate_ , so he could blame it into the device.

 

When they arrived at Rush quarters, the scientist dismissed the lieutenant, for Scott's discomfort, and asked Telford to help him get to his bed. And Telford did. Telford held him until he sat down on his bed. The colonel knelt and took off his shoes and shocks. He laughed when he saw all the holes they had.

 

“You should get new ones,” he commented.

 

“Shut up.”

 

“Hey! It's not my fault your shocks are slowly disappearing.”

 

“No, it's not.”

 

Telford knew what was the man thinking. “Get over it. Just work on getting them home. Work on opening the 'Gate with minimal damage. Maybe you will be able to stay here.”

 

“Yes... I could even get that from them, but they would have my daughter on Earth, as hostage,” he grunted.

 

Telford rose, brows up in surprise. “Do you think that?”

 

“Yes, they will have her-”

 

“No, no. I mean... Is it a girl?”

 

Rush looked at him, frowning. “Of course is a girl. She has strong legs and likes to kick me in the middle of the night.”

 

“Is she that big? And how do you know it's a girl?”

 

“A hint. And I don't know how big she is, but she kicks me.”

 

Telford smiled warmly, kneeling again and putting both hands over Rush swollen stomach. But it didn't last, Rush took his hands by the wrists and put them away. Telford looked at him. In less than a second Rush was sitting between Young's legs on the floor, hands at his back, feeling the front of Young's military clothes with his fingers.

 

“What are you doing?” he asked, feeling dizzy.

 

“Self-defence?” Telford said, amused.

 

“Don't do that!” He struggled weakly. “Let me go. I want to sleep. Let me go.”

 

“Calm down, Nick,” he whispered on his neck.

 

Rush shuddered. He knew it was Telford, he knew Telford wasn't affected by _Fate_. But it was Young's body, his heat, his voice, his hands. He gasped when the tip of his nose ran down his neck.

 

“What are you doing now? Stop that,” he pleaded. It was too good. He liked it, the feeling. His body would react, he knew. It was Young's body, but not Young's mind. His body liked it, he liked it, but he didn't want it. Not from Telford. “David!”

 

“Nick, you smell really well.”

 

Rush started to panic. “Wha-?”

 

“I know who is the one affected by the smell, Nick. I have known since long ago. It's is strange. I have the need to do this but it's not as if...”

 

“David, release me, please.”

 

“And then what?”

 

“Self-defence?”

 

Telford chuckled. “Now? You shouldn't take more lessons now. We can practice again after you give birth.” He released Rush and helped him lay on the bed.

 

Rush faced the other side. He didn't want to look at Young –Telford– anymore. He was tired. “You know?” he talked when he heard the other man moving towards the door. “Sometimes I thought you only wanted to give me lessons in self-defence so you could touch me.” Rush said, not knowing why he was confessing this, but he felt like telling, like taking it out. Right now he had the same feeling than at that time.

 

When a weight moved the mattress, he looked over his shoulder. Telford was there, sitting right behind him, looking serious. Then he leaned in and put a hand over his stomach. “I did it on purpose. I wanted to touch you. I wish this baby was mine.”

 

Then, he got up and left. Rush couldn't breath from the shock. He just stared blankly towards the door.

 

***

 

When she opened the door and looked at the airman in front of her, she recognised her in the blink of an eye. They shared a tight embrace before letting Camile in. They ate and watched TV for a while. Camile was feeling uncomfortable, she had to tell her.

 

“Sharon, I need to tell you something.” She nodded and turned off the TV. “Look, I want you to know that I still love you the same, and I wasn't planning anything like that. I didn't do it on purpose. It was just a mistake and now...”

 

“Camile, what's wrong?” Sharon took one of her hands, looking straight at her eyes.

 

“I am going to be a mother.”

 

Sharon didn't let go, but her grip loosened. “Who?”

 

“It's another woman,” she said, looking away. Sharon let go of her hand, and sat up straightening. “Remember about the device I told you about?” Camile continued, when Sharon nodded she sighed. “Well, I wanted to take a look. I thought that maybe, that would work without a partner in the case of a woman. I was wrong.”

 

“Wha... Ho..” Sharon didn't know what to say. Their eyes met again. “How is she?”

 

“She... she is in her last three-months of pregnancy.”

 

Sharon looked down.

 

Camile looked at her wife. Sharon had a strange face. She didn't move, she didn't look up from her hands, she was not getting it. “Sharon...”

 

“No, wait. Wait. I... You... I mean...”

 

“Sharon, I am sorry. I didn't plan it. I... It just happened. I wanted to know if the device...”

 

“No, no, no. I know. I got it. I... It's just... Well... When you come back, who will have the custody.” Sharon looked up now.

 

This wasn't what she had expected to happen. Divorce, an argument, tears, recriminations, yes. But not this. Camile gaped, eyes wide as her mouth. “Wha...?”

 

“No, I mean. Well, you say that this lieutenant is pregnant and that she... she has twins, right? So, what if she wants to have them for herself?”

 

“Sharon... why?” Camile could not understand.

 

Sharon smiled at her sadly. “When you first came back, I knew it was you. And when you kept coming back in other bodies... I knew, but I still felt like I was betraying you.” She took one of Camile's hands. “So, about the twins?”

 

“Maybe we could get some sort of arrangement.” Sharon nodded.

 

They planed and planed. They searched for names, they shared emotions and giggled. They kissed and finally Camile went back to her own body. Sharon kept smiling, letting the illusion of being a mother take over her, and when she finally closed the door after Camile left, she let out a long sigh. Then, she leaned on the door and slid downwards.

 

That was when she started crying. She could help it. She cried, feeling rage and exhaustion, sadness. She let all out bleed from her eyes. She got up in a jump and took the nearest thing to throw it towards the wall. The poor lamp crashed, spreading thousand of ceramic pieces. Sharon kept destroying her living room for an hour or so.

 

Tired, she took a shower, letting the warm water wash away the tray of her tears and got into bed. It hurt. It hurt too much. She would have preferred it was a man and not a woman. If it was a man, she knew she had some opportunity to win, but against a woman? She felt so bad. She cried to her sleep.

 

***

 

Telford didn't come back the next time, nor the time after that. Rush knew he was avoiding coming to _Destiny_ because of what he told him last time. That confused him. Telford never showed that kind of interest on him, ever. Sometimes he could feel Telford's hateful stare on the back of his neck. He remembered how much he tried to get in his way. And the things he said to him. Before _Destiny_ , there were more insults, and directly told to their faces.

 

That the colonel now confessed something like this was kind of misleading. He couldn't find anything in the past that would assure him Telford wasn't messing with him again. In the end, he gave up about that matter. It wasn't like they could ever be together. That thought made him snarl in disgust. Ugh!

 

There was a party off world on a nearby planet recollecting seeds. They had called back to report that they had seen a herd of what looked like herbivores so the party grew bigger. On board were just a few, taking repairs and analysing data.

 

At this point Rush couldn't get off his bed. On the morning, Tamara would come to help him sit up, adding cushions at his back so he could be comfortable. He was being monitoring, Dr. Lam expected him to deliver shortly, maybe in a week. He had been whispering to the baby her name. Tamara knew by now, but didn't say a thing. Maybe she knew the gender and the name he had picked didn't match it. It didn't matter, he could make it match.

 

This morning seemed as dull as the rest. He was working on a wireless screen when he felt pain. The contraction left him without air. The screen fell to the floor. His insides felt stranger than ever. The sheets got damp in a heart-beat. He reached for the radio.

 

“...” When he was about to call, he felt another contraction, this one being stronger. “T... Tamara...” he dropped the radio too.

 

Rush gritted his teeth, hands fisted on the sheets trying to hold back a yell. “Please, Desiree, please, wait,” he chocked between pain stabs. “Wait, Desiree, not now.” 

 

***

 

When TJ didn't receive any answer at her calls, she knew what was happening. She took Chloe to the stones' room and told where Dr. Lam should go after arriving, then she went straight to Rush's quarters. She found the man in a bad shape, almost tangled with the sheets of his bed, sweating, face red.

 

“Doctor, I am here, don't worry. Breathe. Ah... Don't worry.” To be fair, she didn't know what to do. In fact she was freaking out like a bit too much. It wasn't until Dr. Lam came that she could calm down. After her, col. Young, Camile and airman Becker. Camile and Becker started to aid Dr. Lam right away, so she deduced they must be medics too. Col. Young didn't move at first, then, walked in and took one of Rush hands.

 

The man griped the offered hand, knuckles white, tendons marked.

 

“Can we give him some painkiller? Anaesthesia?” asked Camile, while her and Becker stripped Rush waist down and pulled up his shirts.

 

“No. I tested our only anaesthesia, it would be dangerous for the child, maybe even kill her.”

 

“Then, we will have to add a topic one over there,” said Becker. They put over Rush a blanket, then Dr. Brightman-Camile took out a scalpel, while Becker disinfected the area they would work on.

 

***

 

It was boring as hell. They have been following the herd like for hours and the traps weren't ready yet. Varro helped a great deal, and his man, Koz, leaded the other team. They had split into two so they could trap the herd. Just one or two would be enough, but only thinking about having more meat stored for the future made them wanting to catch four or five.

 

So they hunted, and had a barbecue. They played and hunted more, relaxing in the sun, but still alert to any danger that could arise. Eli was blabbering a lot to Koz, trying to explain him about video games and how to master them. He had gone from one to another without pause, and compared some with the use of _Destiny's_ sensors.

 

Near them, Greer yawned. It had been months since he had his surgery, and now he had an incredible scar on his torso. One he so proudly showed whenever he could. Scott never thought his friend was vain, but he had to agree: it was a pretty amazing scar. It wasn't only the surgery scar, but the one left by that feline-like alien. They still hadn't figured out how that thing could make that much damage without ripping off his clothes.

 

When they called _Destiny_ to inform, Sr. Park wanted to talk with Scott in person, so he went to the 'Gate, and came aboard the starship. He found a mid-worried, mid-excited Dr. Park, rushing towards him. This worried Scott.

 

“What's the matter?”

 

“Rush is in the infirmary,” she said, and before he could freak out she talked again. “TJ told me he is good now. Apparently he woke up a few minutes ago.”

 

“What happened to him?” He wanted to run towards the infirmary, but he had to calm down first, right? Dr. Park was telling him something important he needed to know, right?

 

“He was in labour. We were about to call you but he yelled at us saying that if you came near him right then he would murder you,” she confessed.

 

Scott gaped. “Oh, my God... Oh, my God!! I am father... I am...” He ran.

 

“TJ told me it's a girl,” He heard her screaming.

 

***

 

It had been a nightmare. Blood everywhere, they needed to call some more people in to hold Rush still, his yells and screams won't face easily from their memories, but it was worth it. After they had had the child out, they sewed the wound and took both “mum” and child to the infirmary where they rested.

 

Rush, who had been sedated, had on his chest a tiny pink baby, full covered, sleeping peacefully. Rush waked slowly, feeling pain in every part of his body, and a warm weight over his chest. When he looked, he found a small head there. He couldn't help but smile. His hands seemed too big around the small body.

 

“Hey, how are you?” He looked up. Tamara was there. “Here, let me help you.” She took the baby and left her in a crib. He surely looked surprised, because she laughed a bid. “It was supposed to be a surprise. For next week. She came earlier.”

 

Tamara helped him to a sitting position, taking their time, going slow. When he was seated, panting for the effort and the pain, she took the girl and gave her to him. He embraced his baby and talked to her. She recognised his voice, or maybe she was hungry, because she woke up.

 

He smiled broadly. “Hi, Desiree.” She wasn't as small as a newborn, and her eyes had colour. She had blue eyes. “Your eyes are beautiful, my child.”

 

Tamara let them have some intimacy, but she noticed three people on the door. She walked towards them. “I can't let you in, right now, he just woke up.”

 

Scott was panting, Eli was panting, col. Young was just there.

 

“I... I want... Can I see her?” Scott asked.

 

She smiled. “I suppose you can, but not now, okay? Latter, she is with her other dad. But you can stay. You two, on the other hand, can't.”

 

“But... But...”

 

“Not “buts” Eli. You can come back latter.” Math-Boy left. She turned towards the colonel. “Colonel Young, you should leave too.”

 

“Well, while I am truly intrigued about our new crew member, I came here for other purposes.” He lifted his hand. It looked swollen. “I think I deserve an explanation on how did David got my hand like this.”

 

Scott had entered completely by now, and was sitting on a faraway corner, watching Rush interacting with the baby girl, not minding them at all.

 

“Oh! When he came, our little Desiree was impatient and decided to come out. So he went to Rush quarters with the rest of us and held his hand through all the process. I'm sorry I forgot about it. Come here, I'll take a look.”

 

With his hand bandaged, he approached the lieutenant who was looking at the scientist with adoration. “Lieutenant Scott,” the younger looked at him, “congratulations.”

 

Scott smiled widely, then, looked back at Rush, who was smiling too. It was such a warm, happy, welcoming smile none of them recognised him in that man. “I think this must be _Fate's_ doing but I can't help but thing about him as beautiful right now. Also, I have never, ever seen him smile like that before.”

 

Young nodded, looking too. Rush was so focused on the girl in his arms, he didn't noticed Tamara putting over his shoulders a blanket. “Well, whether it's _Fate_ or it's your own judgement, I can assure you I haven't seen him smile like that either, and that it suits him.”

 

Scott gave him an odd look, before turning again, with resolution burning in his eyes. “I can't back off now.” Young raised a brow. “I am more determined than ever. I will conquer him. And I don't care if it's _Fate_ or it's me. I'll do it.”

 

Young let a low chuckle. “Well, lieutenant, good luck with that. It seems to me that you have a strong opponent.” When Scott looked at him, alarmed, he laughed again. “She has cast a spell on him, and won't let go,” he said, nodding toward Rush.

 

One of Rush's fingers was trapped in the tiny hold of Desiree's hand.

 

***

 

By now, it was pretty obvious that there was something odd going on between Lt. Scott, Col. Young, Eli and Dr. Rush. And even when the bets were still on, people had changed theirs in the last few days. Some risked betting for Young, even when the animosity between he and the scientist never faded completely. Others were still betting for Eli. But Volker, after that comment Math-Boy said, changed his to Lieutenant Scott.

 

He knew he was going to win. And when he heard Lisa calling for Scott and sending him to the infirmary to meet his child, he confirmed it. Now, he just had to thanks Eli for his thoughtless comments. But maybe what he wanted most was to meet the new crew member. There were bets about it too, but he didn't take part on them. It was fifty/fifty so no real risk about it. But what he did was on betting about the name.

 

There were some who thought, if she was a girl, the names would be either Faith or Hope. He chose to pick the one Eli wrote himself: that Rush would choose a name, and that it wasn't going to be something as cliché as “Hope” or “Faith”. If it was a boy, they were all sure it would be Nick Jr. Volker opted again for Eli's response: a very Scottish male name like James or Roderick. Whether those names were as “Scottish” as Eli said, he wasn't sure, but he agreed with him about that.

 

He sighed. It was his shift on the 'Gate Room and he was alone. Lisa strode out when she heard it was shift change, surely to meet the little girl. Ten minutes after, the 'Gate dialled and the off-world team came in. He grinned, none of them seemed to know about the good news. Oh! They had meat with them!

 

“Well guys, I can see today we will eat good. And I don't want to spoil your gift but I have news.” They all waited for him to continue. He waited until the 'Gate closed and they were on FTL. Grinning with self satisfaction, he looked at them. “Rush gave birth a couple of hours ago.” The best was to come yet. “It's a girl.”

 

A roar filled the room, people talking about the bets, about the name, about how they wanted to see her. Volker called Becker and both of them and Greer, got the herbs to the kitchen. The rest just ran into _Destiny's_ bowels, predictably towards the infirmary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I _am_ desperate, because, readers I am a reader too. I like to read stuff, so you, who are a fan of SG·U too, WHAT ARE YOU DOING THAT YOU ARE NOT WRITING A FIC TOO?? Well, you, reader, could write fics _**or**_ challenge me to write something ;) I used to answer lots of those, but since I came to this fandoom I have not, so... I am all ears :D


	11. In which Scott missed his chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott makes yet another mistake. And other stuff happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have hurt my hand so I'll write slowly now. :D
> 
> **Notes** : Without Beta. More than OoC... they are OoC of the OoC I put them in. I am confused about this chapter :D   
> Enjoy.

**11\. In which Scott missed his chance.**

 

It had been like what seemed hours to him, but TJ let him approach Rush and the child. Rush looked up at him. He had been there the whole time. TJ threw out the colonel right after their short chat, and then put panels around Rush's bed. He heard their conversation. Rush had decided to breastfeed the best he could the baby until they got another way to feed her. He sat there, listening to the suctioning noises, feeling pretty awkward.

 

Now, he could look at the baby. And at Rush. He relished on her features, the dark soft hair on her head, the slight furrow, how her eyes danced from light to shadows. He frowned. Her eyes. Her eyes were deep blue. He looked up at Rush. Rush didn't have blue eyes, and as far as he knew it took two people with blue eyes to have a child with blue eyes.

 

“It's a recessive gen, moron,” Rush scolded him, though more warmly than with sarcasm. “I have a grandmother with blue eyes. Now I know I have the gen too.”

 

“You read my mind?”

 

Rush chuckled. “It was impossible to miss. You had it written on your forehead, lad.”

 

Rush was being soft. Too soft. Well, it's not like he complained but, he wasn't expecting him to be this... kind. He looked at the baby. “I have the perfect name for her.”

  
“Save it for your next one. She has one already, and I am not changing it nor adding a new one. Period.”

 

“But-”

 

“It's done.”

 

“But-”

 

“My last world.”

 

Scott sighed in defeat. “Okay. Can I hope it's not something horrible?”

 

Rush raised one brow. “What kind of name are you fearing there, boy?”

 

“I don't know,” he shrugged. “Henrietta, for example?”

 

Rush laughed. “No. Not that one. Her name is Desiree.”

 

Scott looked at the baby, mumbling the name, “Desiree, Desiree.” He looked up. “I like it.”

 

Rush snorted. “Of course you like it, _I_ chose it.”

 

“Says Mr. Modesty.”

 

“Bravo! You are actually capable of being ironic.”

 

They looked down at Desiree again, falling in a comfortable silence. She was falling asleep.

 

“Why Desiree?”

 

“Mm?”

 

“No, yes. I mean. Why did you chose _Desiree_?”

 

Rush blushed there, and Scott couldn't help to think of how beautiful and cute he was like that. “Because... It was Gloria's second name.” Scott looked surprised. He had never heard anything about Rush's late wife until now. “I always thought that if I had a daughter, I would call her that.”

 

“Why?” Scott felt something itching in his chest, like pain, but not as sharp. Uh? Jealousy?

 

“It's the meaning.” Rush sighed, looking down at the now soundly asleep baby. “It means that she is desired, wished for, wanted. Even... after all that had happened until now, I still want her with me. I... I love her.” He caressed the head, fixing the hat that she was wearing to cover her ears too.

 

“I... see...” Scott wasn't looking at Desiree, but at Rush. The expression on his face, the way he held the baby, it was all too foreign for him. This Rush was way too different from the bastard he knew. Was this the man with Mrs. Rush fell in love? He could love this man too. Scott shook those ideas out of his mind and focused on the child again.

 

“When she wakes up, you can hold her.” Rush voice startled him. In was too soft, too caring. _Foreign_.

 

“Eh? Ah! Yes, um... Thank you.”

 

***

 

It was endearing. There was a crowd on the jam door to the infirmary. They were forbidden to get in. Rush needed to rest, and the child needed to be near her father, so TJ forbade to go visit them for now. This didn't kept them from coming and looking from afar. They could hear Rush humming tunes to the baby, while she looked up at him.

 

But Rush felt uncomfortable with all that attention, and even though he tried to ignore them – some where from Homeworld Command borrowing bodies so they could meet his daughter – it make him shift on the bed, trying to find a position in which he would be hidden. TJ noticed, and kindly put some panels between his bed and the door. He sighed, appreciating it.

 

“So, what do we do now?” asked Scott, who was at his side. Rush frowned. “I mean about Desiree. Should we move together?”

 

“No. I prefer to stay how we are now. I think... Ah... I was thinking I could have her until she is older?” Rush looked at him, an unsure look in his eyes.

 

“Am.. Well... Yes?” Scott had been preparing himself to pick a fight, but Rush was asking him nicely to have Desiree with him instead of telling him that he would have her. “Am... How... How long?”

 

“A few months. Until she can be spoon-feed.” Rush looked away, his cheeks reddening.

 

Scott couldn't help to look at his chest. It wasn't noticeable, and maybe it would take some time, until anybody could think he had breast. He hadn't, of course, or maybe yes. He might have developed them, or at least the organ to... Scott shook his head. This was not something he knew about. Maybe he should investigate regarding it. He coughed, clearing his throat before talking. “If that's what you want. Em... Yeah. Well... Am... What about your work?”

 

Rush snorted. “I think Lt. Johansen won't let me go back to work until she thinks I am well enough.”

 

Scott nodded. This was weird. He was having this kind of conversation with Rush, and they were not arguing, or yelling or... whatever. Just, talking. He reached and took Desiree on his arms, helped by the scientist, and looked at her. She looked back. Her eyes were truly beautiful. He couldn't help but smile.

 

When he looked up, Rush had his eyes closed. He seemed relaxed. Scott felt his heart skip a beat. Their _Fate_ was still active, so he had no way of knowing if these feelings were implanted by it or his own, developed from all this messed up situation. He put Desiree on her crib. As her father – he called himself _daddy_ , while let Rush have _father_ –, she was falling asleep. He let her hold his finger until she closed her eyes, yawning. Now, his heart felt warm.

 

A few minutes after, when he was sure she was asleep, he straightened, looking around. It was time to leave the infirmary and go to his own quarters. He glanced at Rush one last time, but he didn't move. He watched his chest going up and down, breath even. Rush was positively asleep too. Feeling bold, he leaned over, putting aside some locks of hair. Then, he approached his lips.

 

Before he could kiss the man someone coughed behind him. As he turned to see who it was, he found TJ looking at him. “No, Matt. Go now.” He got angry. Who did she thought she was to tell him what he could or could not do? “Please, Matt. He needs to rest.” He walked away, towards the door. “I know you are sulking, but it's for the best.”

 

“I don't think so, TJ,” he mumbled for himself before exiting.

 

***

 

Col. Young wasn't feeling that bad, but since TJ told him to go see her –apparently she didn't want to leave the infirmary for too long, in case Rush needed something, since the scientist couldn't get up on his own yet, or couldn't walk on his own... or TJ didn't want to risk him leaving the infirmary on his own.– In fact, he did not think that what he had needed to be treated. Truth be told, he was feeling cowardice. He didn't want to go there since _Rush_ was there.

 

He breathed before pulsing the door release and entered the room. Not looking around he turned to close the door again. New rule, always close the door. It kept Desiree's fans at bay. Then he turned around, looking for TJ. She must be in her office. He noticed Rush. The man was sleeping. He approached him.

 

Rush looked the same. The same kind of bastard, silvertongued who could get the best of him just by saying a few words. The same brilliant mind that got them into this mess and could get them out of it – with some help from Eli. But above all, he saw the same man he had started to trust, for the sake of the crew, for the mission.

 

He shifted on his sleep and woke up slowly. When he had his eyes half open he looked at him. “Morning,” he said sleepily.

 

“More like afternoon,” Young replied.

 

“Yes, could you help...?” Rush reached with both his hands and Young took them out of reflex. It feel awkward to hold this man like this after all... _Do not think about it. It's all over now_ , he thought to himself. Rush used him to get off the bed and was leaning heavily on him. “I need to go to the bathroom.”

 

Young nodded and walked with him. There was a sanitary in the infirmary, it even had a shower. When Rush entered there, he let go of Young and closed the door. This was when TJ appeared, not from her office, as he thought in the first place, but from outside.

 

“Well, that was fast. I was out just two minutes.”

 

“I suppose we crossed paths and didn't saw each other.”

 

She nodded, scanning the room. “Where is Rush?”

  
“Rest room,” he said, pointing at the door behind him.

 

“Okay, come here and let me see what you have done to yourself now.”

 

He felt a smirk on his lips. “It wasn't me, remember? It was David, who kindly let my tendons be smashed.”

 

She giggled. “Yes. It was quite the view. He had his eyes as wide and round as a full moon. I think he was pretty scared. And when we opened Rush he almost fainted. He kept complaining about the loss of blood.”

 

Young nodded. He let TJ take a look at his hand. Instead of having less problems with his hand, the pain crept up to his elbow. She moved his wrist, fingers and elbow, poking here and there. After a while, she nodded to herself.

 

“What is it?”

 

“You have tendinitis. I'll have to bandage your arm.” She turned to take some cloths when the rest room's door opened.

 

Young rushed himself towards the scientist and helped him go back to his bed. Then, he noticed that the crib by his bed was empty. “Where's the girl?”

 

“With Scott,” answered Rush, rolling over, giving them his back. “He wanted to have more time with Desiree, so he took her to his quarters.”

 

“I agreed, she needs to become used to him, be more familiar,” said TJ when Young looked at her with both brows raised. She leaned and lowered her tone. “Also, I think he needs some time for himself. He glared everyone who entered the infirmary and I don't think Desiree needs her father to be that aggressive.”

 

Young seemed perplexed. “Are you serious?”

 

TJ nodded, bandaging his arm. “Now he is in a foul mood, but he will get over it.”

 

“I can hear you, Lieutenant,” grumbled Rush, not changing his position.

 

“I know, that's why I am talking about it. You should act as a grown up already. Matt's not gonna kill her. Stop stressing yourself over it. You need to rest.”

 

Rush snarled again, but ignored them afterwards. Young shared an amused look with TJ. Rush was sulking because Desiree was with her other father, and surely with the rest of the crew. When TJ was over, he went towards the door but he wasn't even near when it opened. Lieutenant Scott entered the room, closing the door behind him with his back, his arms holding the baby who was gurgling happily.

 

Young heard a “thud”, TJ gasping and then something almost collided with his arm, passing him like a lightning. Rush was panting in front of Scott, a hand on his lower belly, the other reaching for the child. Scott let Rush hold the baby, preferring to take Rush towards the bed, putting his arms around him. TJ was still in awe on her spot, but she reacted, running to help Scott. Young decided to get out the way and watch silently.

 

“I swear to God, Doc, that if you have only one stitch out of place I am going to chain you to the bed until I say you are good to go,” she was scolding.

 

But Rush didn't mind her, he only had eyes for his baby. “Whatever, Lieutenant,” was his answer.

 

Scott just sighed. He spotted Young and gave him a look. Young grinned, the Lieutenant grinned back. Young muttered “a lot of work,” at which Scott nodded.

 

TJ and Scott helped Rush to lay on the bed, the man still holding his daughter. Young let himself compare the two men: on the one hand the acerbic, deceiving, smart and _smartass_ Dr. Rush; on the other hand this new man, with love on his eyes, smooth touches and smiles that came directly from his heart. The two of then didn't match at all.

 

_So, this is what David was referring to_ , he thought, remembering a conversation with Telford about Rush, some months ago. Well, yes, it was crystal clear Rush was capable of loving someone now, but he was worrying about the impact on the scientist health that could made. He didn't care about his stitches, nor the pain. He was barely walking, but he rushed towards the girl as soon as Scott came in with her. _That_ was to be worried about.

 

Young shook his head, he would talk about this latter, now he would let the “happy” family there. Though he doubted that was one happy family, just by looking at both men expressions one could get fooled. In fact, now he was sure that what Scott felt for his lead scientist was genuine. With a last look he left. In fact, he couldn't help feeling envious of Rush and his daughter, remembering Carmen, thinking of what could have been.

 

***

 

Eli was working on his documentary, talking to a kino, trying not to look like he was reading a script while blabbing a speech about _Fate_ and Rush and baby Rush. Unlike the rest of the crew he didn't feel like meeting the baby yet. He felt awkward only thinking about Rush being in the same space ship as him, he was sure he would shudder and sweat the exact moment he met Rush.

 

“...I mean... He.. I... I did pretty nasty things, you know?” This wasn't on his script, but he needed to say it out loud. “It's not as if all those things were bad it's just... C'mon! It's _Rush_. I can perfectly blame him for everything bad that happens in the whole universe and not feel remorse...” He looked away, frowning. “Or maybe I was able to... in the past... What the heck is wrong with me today? I mean... from what I overheard the baby is a sweetie, and Matt is like crazy about her, showing all this proud smiles and walking like he owned everything. And he does not even think about Chloe!!”

 

Eli sighed, throwing his hand to the air. Then, looking directly at the kino he said, “I am gonna delete that part.”

 

But, the happy fact about all this weird situation was that it was over already. He was happy. He wouldn't want to... to... He blushed furiously. Moaning, he hid his face on his hands. How could he do _those_ things to Rush, of all people? He went for a walk, since he was totally sure Rush wouldn't be around. TJ would never ever let Rush out the infirmary until... well, until he was ready to go, and since he would need at least one additional week to recover, it was safe to roam around.

 

He wondered how he was doing, and who the baby resembled more, if Rush or Matt. And he had the opportunity to know it because Matt was there, with his daughter on his arms, following Chloe, and Chloe was walking fast towards Eli's position.

 

“Eli, hold her for a moment,” Matt demanded.

 

Eli didn't know if he was referring to Chloe or to baby-Rush, but his doubts were cleared when Matt put his daughter on his arms, and ran after the woman. Eli, trying not to panic, looked down to find a startled stare. The baby was not crying, but her face showed how upset she felt.

 

“Em..., hi? Ah... I am... Uncle Eli. Err... Nice to meet you.”

 

The baby started to cry, silently, hiccuping. Now, Eli felt like panicking. Seriously, what was he supposed to do with a crying baby? Take her with her father? He grimaced. He had been successfully avoiding the infirmary but now it was a necessity. He couldn't stay in the middle of a corridor with that child on his arms, crying her heart out... without making any sound. Weeeeird, he thought.

 

So he found himself in front of the infirmary, not at all ready to enter and confront Rush. The baby was now making small noises, still hiccuping occasionally. During their way there, he tried not to look at her at all, since her crying face was already burned into his mind's eye. Changing the way he held the girl, he hit the door's button and entered the infirmary, closing after him.

 

First thing he saw: Rush on his bed, wearing what looked like a tunic, working on who-knows-what. Second thing: Rush right in front of him, snatching the baby from his arms. Now, the baby started to cry out loud, maybe feeling safer.

 

While turning to go back to his bed, it seemed like the man felt bad and almost fell to the floor. Luckily for him and his daughter, Eli reacted on time, more or less, and could balance him.

 

“Shh, Des, don't worry, honey, papa is here, it's ok, it's ok, papa's with you,” was muttering the scientist.

 

Eli helped him to climb his bed, not missing the face he made. He must hurt somewhere, he thought. Eli stayed there, not knowing what to do, listening to Rush accented voice, almost singing his whispered words towards the baby, who was calming down. When she stopped crying, Rush gaze set on Eli.

 

“What the hell?” was his question.

 

“I don't know. I swear. I was doing my stuff and then Chloe ran past me, and Matt after her and then, suddenly, I had a crying baby on my hands and I didn't know what to do and, why the heck did you ran? Don't you know that you might get your stitches-?”

 

“What should I care about the stitches when my baby is crying so desperately?” Rush cut, annoyed.

 

“...” Eli gaped. Then, seemed to find his voice. “Because if you don't take care of yourself she will left alone in the world?”

 

“Fair enough,” Rush seemed to soften, looking down at his daughter. “Have you...?” he asked, looking up again, directly into Eli's eyes. “Have you meet her?”

 

Eli shifted, uncomfortable. “Well, kind of. I introduced myself as Uncle Eli.” The young man was surprised at the bright smile his words brought. “But I haven't caught her name yet. I just... called her baby-Rush,” he admitted, turning red.

 

Rush laughed good naturedly. “Well, her name is Desiree. Sometimes I call her Des.”

 

“It's... it is a pretty name.” Eli couldn't believe his eyes. Rush was acting so open, and cheerful and... What the heck? Why was this man smiling that much? It made his heart race in his chest. He still couldn't forget... And why was he thinking it would be so great to...? “Err.... I think I should... go back to... my things. Am, er, stay healthy.”

 

He turned around, feeling too stiff.

 

“Mr. Wallace.” He stopped. Rush never called him that unless what he was about to tell him was of utmost importance. “I do believe we need to discuss some matter about the recharging systems. The same talk we were about to have before-”

 

“I know. I know,” he cut, turning again to look at him. “But I just thought you would prefer to... I mean, I know that now your body is assimilating the placenta so you can produce milk instead of throwing it out and-”

 

“Please,” cut Rush, “don't continue with that.” The man looked away, seemed embarrased.

 

“Am... em... How... how is it?”

 

“How is what?”

 

“Err... Bre... Feeding her?”

 

There was an awkward pause. Rush looked down, and Eli looked somewhere else. “Strange.”

 

“Um... I... see... Well... Am... I should go back and... err... take care.”

 

When he was almost at the door he heard Rush's voice again. “Eli?” He looked over his shoulder. “Thanks for bringing her.” He nodded before exiting. It had been less weird than what he thought.

 

***

 

Chole couldn't believe herself. She had given up on running away from Matt and now they were both seated on one of those multiples rooms with huge windows. They had been looking out, at the FTL colours, not saying a word. She heard Matt sighing.

 

“I lost my chances,” he said at last.

 

“Your chances?” She looked at him. He looked back.

 

“Yes. I lost my chance with you. And then I ruined whatever little chance I could have to be with him. And, the last one was the chance to name my child. I didn't get to name the first, and it was the same with the second.”

 

She laughed humourless. “I can't believe you chased me only to say...”

 

“That's not what I had in mind. But what am I suppose to talk about? I don't know how to start a chat with you without earning your wrath. Seriously, Chloe, you are mad at me, rightly so, but please, we need to talk-”

 

“About what? Whatever had to be said is said. There's nothing more. Only empty words. Broken promises. You can't admit it yourself now, but I have been with you enough of time to know that you are genuinely falling in love with-”

 

“Stop! Don't say that! I... I... I'm not. It's not... It's just because he is Desiree's father, nothing more. _Fate_ got totally off yesterday. And Rush told me that the others had calmed down already, so...”

 

“Wait. You know about the others?”

 

Matt shrugged. “Only a bit. I don't know how many of them... Or...how... how far...” He looked away. It was embarrassing enough to admit it to himself, more so to say it out loud. It was so clear that he felt jealous about that. And Chloe could read him like an open book.

 

“Gosh! That's great, I don't know how would have you reacted if you knew who were them.”

 

“You... You know who?”

 

She snorted. “Of course I know. My content wall wasn't only for you, but for them too. Though when Rush wanted to be with them he could be a sneaky bas-”

 

“WHAT!?”

 

She jumped on her seat. Matt looked paler than before, and more frantic, and a little bit murderous. She kept quiet.

 

“Repeat that,” he said. She shook her head. “Rush sought _their_ company out?” She closed her lips, tightly. “Why wouldn't...? He never...! I wasn't...”

 

She rolled her eyes. “Duh, Matt, he didn't want to be with _you_. From the start. He would have been thrilled if you and me were still an item, you know? He only went looking for them because of the device.”

 

“Yeah, _Fate_ seems to have all the fault, eh?”

 

“In fact, it is its fault to begin with,” she scowled. “And I do remember some Doctor complaining about the military poking around.”

 

“Yes, sorry. I'm sorry.”

 

They fell on an uncomfortable silence.

 

“This is not going as I pictured it.”

 

Chloe frowned. “Where is your daughter.” she looked up, at him. He seemed dumbfounded. “Where is Desiree?” she asked again, worried now.

 

“Oh!... I don't... I don't know.”

 

“Oh, god, you are useless!”

 

They got up at the same time Matt's radio came to life. “ _Lieutenant Scott, could you please come down to the infirmary? There is something I need to tell you._ ”

 

Crap! That was Rush. He sounded angry. Angrier than ever. He ran. He ran with all his might. Because, because if Rush didn't know... Where was Desiree? How could he leave her somewhere and run after another person when his duty was to be with his daughter?

 

He entered the infirmary feeling really bad, not knowing if he was capable of looking at Rush in the eye now. Chloe had followed him. He could hear her footsteps, still running to catch him. He opened the door and let it open, leaving the task to close it to Chloe.

 

Rush was sitting up on his bed, baby on his lap, playing with something bright red. He let a sigh of relief out of his body, relaxing now.

 

Rush got up, put the child on her crib and walked towards him, slowly, deliberately slow, looking at him with an unreadable expression on his face. Just when Chloe reached the door, he felt Rush's fist on his face, knocking him out of his feet. He fell to the floor, still surprised at the unexpected attack.

 

In a low, controlled voice, Rush spoke. “How dare you to leave my child forgotten? I let you have her, thinking you could take care of her, but you left her behind instead. What was that stupid thing that you had to do? Was it more important than taking care of your own daughter? Because she is your daughter too. But if you ever leave her again, I'll put all my efforts to make you less than a stranger to her. Are we understood?”

 

Matt was speechless. Rush was right here. Some how.

 

“Only if the ship was under attack you should leave her with a civilian. Not because you want to have a little chit-chat!” Scolded the older man. “Do you know how much she was frightened? When Eli brought her here, she was shaking so much, and crying. Crying!”

 

Chloe closed the door and went straight towards Rush, taking one of his arms and guiding him to the bed. The man was shaking, and his face was as white as paper. Eli had explained her that Fate could still drain energy from his body to make some more changes post-childbirth. And TJ was looking for something to chain the man to the bed so he would not do things like these.

 

Surprisingly enough, he let Chloe lead him. “I think Matt understands this, Doc. You should rest.”

 

“Yes, rest. I'm always in need of rest on your opinion.”

 

He was referring to all the people who constantly were complaining of the bad humour of the man, caused without doubt by a poor sleeping habits.

 

“I... I am sorry. It... It wasn't...”

 

But Rush wasn't looking at him. He was just ignoring him. Chloe could understand. She took Matt out. She knew not one of them could believe what had happened with the baby. Not even Matt. She was sure he would start flagellate himself for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll take my time writing next chapter. I want my hand to be healed... I write faster with two hands than with one xD


	12. In which Vanessa has Hope and Faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A ton of things happens in a row and Vanessa has Hope and Faith. Scott loses his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Notes** : Sorry for the delay. I started this chapter with one clear thing in mind... and when after barely 900 words I had done it my mind blocked itself and I couldn't continue... but then, I wrote my last SGU fic and the block slowly faded away. xD So, here I am.  
> This chapter almost contained a threesome... but then I thought: Hey! Though that seems to be cool or hot or both or none, I do think that I'm not capable of sticking it on the story... Even when there's a lot of crazier things going on, uh?  
> Oh! I have bad/good news. The bad news is that there's only two chapters left... The good news is that there's only TWO chapters left!! Yay... Err... Ehehe... xD
> 
> "Warnings": OoC, I wrote it without beta, so... crappy English and awkward phrasing. :D And... insults, I am sure I wrote some. OH! I re-read it to see if I wrote wrong some word... like instead of writing "gasp" was "grasp" or such (not such luck so far xD), so if you see things that does NOT make sense... that's it xDD I'll try to correct the mistakes on the following days... though don't expect too much of me :P
> 
> **Disclaimer** : SG·U and it's characters and settings aren't mine, just the story and what I make them do. I would LOVE to have them, but... *sigh* until I have 4.3 billion dollars I'm sure I won't be able to have it :P xDD

**12\. In which Vanessa has Hope and Faith**

 

They were on their monthly reunion. At first they were surprised when on the fourth reunion appeared the late California's senator's wife, Mrs. Armstrong. But when they get to know her, things got less awkward. Sometimes they had to postpone the meetings, when Mrs. Wallace wasn't feeling strong enough. But it was ok.

 

It was funny to think how all this came to life. Sharon only pretended to know some of the others affected. Camile had told her the situation of Mrs. Wallace and after she said her good bye before going into stasis, she went to meet her. Mrs. Wallace was a really kind woman, worried sick about her child, but happy that he got to do what he dreamed, in a sense.

 

People noticed them, and some more came in. They made reunions to support each other, and even when they could “meet” their friends and family now, Sharon still wanted to do this. It helped over all those three years, and she wasn't that sure she would survive now without them. Since _Destiny_ made contact again, people had been abandoning the reunions, but there were still some people who came. They were now in her house.

 

This month, Mrs. Wallace, who constantly asked them to call her Maryann, had baked cookies, the favourites of his son. Mrs. Armstrong, who preferred to be called by her last name, had brought biscuits, and Thomas Hurts, cousin of Dr. Dale Volker, something to drink.

 

It was peaceful like this. They chatted, they shared, they laughed and cried. It helped. Sharon sometimes thought this helped more to see her wife in another person body. And she had to tell. She had to share. She had to tell them about Camile and another woman, and babies. What came in reply to her words was a cheerful talk about some Dr. Rush and his daughter.

 

“I mean it, Dale is sooo frightened of the infant, and she can't be older than a few months! He told me that he once held her, and she stared until he felt like crying.”

 

“That must be her father's patented look,” they all laughed. “Camile complained about him a lot. He was totally uncontrollable.”

 

“Eli came a few days ago, and he told me that the child is a sweet baby. He said that he self-proclaimed as her Godfather and Uncle. As if those where like the titles he used to like when he was playing in his room.”

 

“So, probably, this other woman will give birth anytime now?”

 

“More or less.”

 

A few hours latter she was closing her front door, smiling at her friends while each one took their way. She was somewhat exhausted. She sighed before cleaning up the living room.

 

***

 

Eli glanced towards Desiree sideways again. She was still staring at him. “You know? You should blink more, or you will, you know, damage your corneas?”

 

The baby made a sound, but kept staring while sucking at a piece of cloth. She liked to suck at it like crazy. Or, if she could, suck at her dad. If Rush was holding her and she was near enough, she would suck at his neck, or face or whatever was at her mouth's reaching. This, of course, made a predictable Lt. Scott freak out. Or at least, until some merciful soul told him where did Rush got those “love bites”. Oh! And Rush shaved. Rush shaved!!

 

Eli was totally, utterly, completely sure it was because Desiree disliked his beard. It must itch or something and Rush wouldn't do anything to harm his precious jewel. While still thinking about these and other maybe-useful-in-the-future events, he knelt before baby-Rush. She was still staring at him. He waved a hand over her head and she followed the movement. Then, she took out the cloth from her mouth and made a face.

 

“Oho! No, you won't start crying now. Here.”

 

At first, she didn't want the cloth, refusing to acknowledge it so Eli tried again with a dry part. She took it immediately, sighing in relief, it seemed. Eli could help a smile.

 

“You should decide what you want to do, before doing something,” he instructed, not sure if that had anything to do with what just happened.

 

It was strange. Rush trusted him enough as to leave her with him, and not with Matt, who was her other dad. It could have something to do with the fact that some days ago Matt tossed the child into his arms and ran after Chloe. Well, right now that wasn't anything to be concerned about, since Lt. James was giving birth in that exact moment. Rush was still in medical leave, and TJ wouldn't let him go out of the infirmary for too long, so he was like a prisoner there, but that didn't mean that Desiree had to stay there all the time.

 

Before, it was Matt who took her out and gave her some walks over the ship, now it was upon him. Someone called at his door. When he looked up, Chloe was at the jam, looking at both of them with a huge smile.

 

“She is a piece of candy, uh?”

 

“Yeah, she have most of the crew in her little finger.”

 

Chloe laughed. “I am here to let you know that you can return with her to the infirmary. And that we have two new members on the crew. Want to come and meet them?”

 

“Sure thing!”

 

He picked Desiree up, and trailed off after Chloe. As soon as she felt the change in her surroundings, the baby started to gurgle happily, as if being carried was the most delightful thing in the world.

 

“Told you, a sweetie.”

 

***

 

Months have passed and the three sweeties of the ship had all the crew mesmerized by them. Desiree blabbed a lot now, throwing comprehensible words now and then. James' twins didn't “talk” yet, and their names made some of the crew win bets. James had picked them and Camile had agreed to let the lieutenant choose them. Faith and Hope had light brown hair, dark eyes, and sweet smiles.

 

Brody had bet on Faith and Hope as the names the soldier would pick, and he won. He told the rest that it was clearly the names someone normal would pick in these conditions, being as those babies were their future aboard _Destiny_. Said comment made more than one think about Rush as not-so-normal regarding the name he had chose to his daughter.

 

The only one on board who didn't seem to like Desiree was Volker. He was once left with the child. She stared at him, with her blue eyes. It was a stare he had seen on Rush's eyes more than once. A stare so intense it was unnerving. He was used to them by now, that was true, and he even replied to Rush now, not letting the mathematician get his way all the time. He was an astrophysicist, for God's sake! He was more useful out there than Rush, and he was not going to let the man step over him ever again.

 

So he stared back at the baby. She sighed shortly, but she did not blink that much... or at all. And he ended up feeling like that baby was mocking him. Looking at him over the shoulder, as if he was nothing.

 

“It's just my imagination,” he told TJ after the episode. “It can't be true. She... she can't be thinking that way, right?”

 

“Dale, please, relax. She's just a baby.”

 

“Yes, yes I know. But whenever I'm near her I can't help but remember Grenuille, the bad guy on 'The Perfume', and wonder if she is like him at all.”

 

TJ looked at him. “You should rest a bit, maybe. You are not being coherent.”

 

“What?”

 

“Well, you look like you need a nap.”

 

“Yes, I had been thinking about this all night long. I mean, Grenuille, at first, when he was a baby, made his mum get killed. He started crying just when the police was passing by. And, and, he mocked the cleric man sniffing at him while he had no scent whatsoever. So it wouldn't be that crazy that a baby has-”

 

“Stop! Dale, please, take a nap, okay?” Volker nodded. “I'll go and talk with that baby and request that she stops staring at you.”

 

Volker made a face. “You are mocking me.”

 

TJ shrugged. “Maybe, maybe not. Now, shoo, go to sleep.”

 

***

 

Though the situation was still awkward, Colonel Young had managed to exchange words with Rush without it being too embarrassing. The man acted as if what had happened between them did never happened, so Young did the same. It was easier this way. Even when he had some wet dreams about it. But he could act as if it never happened. After all, it was nothing more than sex... right?

 

No, not right. He still felt something. Even after these past months their _Fate_ device had been inactive. And that something bothered him. He hadn't been inclined to define that feeling, simply had wrapped it and swallowed and pushed it down, so down he was stepping on it, so he could avoid thinking of it. But still, sometimes he caught himself looking at or for the man. He was well aware too that Scott had been eyeing all the male crew members with hawk eyes, as if trying to find someone in particular.

 

“How are you doing, lieutenant?” he asked, approaching the young.

 

“Good morning, sir. I'm doing well.” As he finished talking he winced. Young looked at the same spot he was looking. Rush was in the other part of the mess, sitting with Mr. Brody, Dr. Volker, Chloe and Dr. Park. Park had Desiree on her lap. The child was looking at her dad while he ate.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“No, sir.”

 

“You can talk to me,” he offered.

 

“I know Rush wasn't faithful.”

 

Young chocked in his drink. “Wha-what?”

 

Scott was looking at his hands. “I know he was with others while he was... _not_ with me.”

 

Young raised a brow. “So?”

 

“So...” the lieutenant sighed. “So he was with other people, while I struggled between my desire to be with him and my desire to be with Chloe and I fucked it all up. And I am feeling really bad about that. I wish he was only mine. And I envy and curse those who were with him. But I don't know who they were. Not yet.”

 

Young thought that Scott was really slow regarding that matter, since even him knew about the bets on who was Rush's baby's other father. And he knew who were in the list. Apparently the betting pool was top secret or something. Or maybe the young lieutenant didn't pay any attention to those things.

 

Suddenly, a burst of laughter made both men look towards the scientists' table. Rush was making faces to Desiree, and she was not the only one who was laughing, but hers was the loudest by far. The child tried to clap in delight while looking at her father with a big smile. She reached for him and he got her on his arms, kissing her cheek, or more like chewing her cheek with his lips, which made her laugh even more.

 

Young couldn't help smile at the scene before his eyes. At his side, Scott was tense. One only needed a glance to know that the young was burning inside, trying to hold back and not get up and run towards his daughter and Rush and hug them both.

 

“You should give up, forget about getting together. It's not going to happen,” Young said, concerned.

 

“I can't.”

 

“Matthew, I'm saying this as a friend, you should-”

 

“It's not like I have not tried. Literally, I. Can't,” he said. The look in his eyes was almost desperate. “I... I...” Scott blushed, then leaned and talked in a quiet voice. “I can't get... _hard_... if it's not thinking about him,” he confessed, casting down his eyes, ashamed. “I can't help it. I'm in love with him... or full of lust. Or whatever that device got inside my head. All I can think about is having them both to attain happiness.”

 

Young didn't whistle, though he was close to it. The boy had it tough. Tougher than he thought at the beginning. He slapped his shoulder in a comforting way.

 

On the other part of the mess, Vanessa James and Camile Wray had each one of their daughters and were surrounded by a huge party of the crew. The twins looked bored of that much attention and only acted or responded to their mother's voices.

 

“The other day I had a weird conversation with Rush,” was saying James.

 

“Oh, really?”

 

“Yes. We talking about breastfeeding. It was so weird.”

 

“Wait, what!? Rush is breastfeeding Desiree?”

 

“Wow! That has to get recorded. We need to sneak a kino in wherever he feed her.”

 

“Yes, totally yes. That's has to be weird.”

 

“Ug, no, please. I don't want to have that in my head.”

 

“Uh, Vanessa, did your breasts get bigger!?”

 

They continued with the conversation. Scott having heard most of it. Yes, he wanted to see it too. But he had the feeling that he would attack Rush if he was present. He knew that he wouldn't help himself. He surely would jump at the opportunity and would suck Rush's milk out and taste it. He had been thinking about that too much lately. And that thought aroused him. And that that thought aroused him ashamed him even more.

 

***

 

Rush was annoyed by the group of morons that populated the ship. Sometimes just rolling his eyes wasn't enough. He wanted to throw some of them out of airlocks. He finished giving Desiree her dinner and rocked with her until she fell asleep. She was starting to eat more solid meals now and Dr. Lam had told him that he could start thinking about stopping the breastfeeding.

 

After he left Desiree on her cradle, he heard a faint knock on his door before it hissed open. He didn't had the time to turn around.

 

“Oh! Sorry,” said his visitor in a low voice.

 

Rush grinned at him and walked towards the door. “You should have waited until I opened it,” he mumbled, nodding towards the cradle.

 

“Yeah, sorry. It's just that I kind of wanted to talk with you...”

 

“I can manage that, I suppose...” Rush snorted.

 

“...about Matthew.”

 

Rush looked at him in the eye. “Are you serious?”

 

Young shrugged. “I feel bad about him. And about what happened between us.”

 

Rush looked away, crossing his arms in front of him. Desiree sighed in her sleep, making Rush look back at her.

 

“How's she doing?”

 

“Great. She sleeps more in the night now. Or whatever pass for night-time here,” said Rush, still looking at the cradle, half body turned. He raised a hand to rest on his neck. “She will eat without me in some weeks more, I hope. Her upcoming teeth are not exactly welcomed,” he commented, then gasped, turning to look at Young, startled. A blush crept up his cheeks. “Am... forget about that.”

 

Young nodded, feeling awkward. He couldn't help his eyes to wander to Rush's chest. “Do you really...?”

 

Rush blushed even further. “I don't want to talk about it.” Not with you, anyway.

 

“Yeah, of course. It's just...,” Young cleared his throat, forcing his eyes to look up to Rush's own. “About Matthew...”

 

But something inside him stopped his mind and tangled his tongue. He was merely looking into those dark, brown eyes, nothing unusual. He noticed the parted lips, and the blush still there, growing stronger as seconds passed. That same something possessed him and he took Rush from behind his neck and kissed him, walking into the room and closing the door with a fist.

 

His hands ran frantically over the scientist's body, walking him backwards towards the bed, were Rush sat, and Young sat on his lap, both his hands swimming between Rush's locks of hair. Rush's hands had a firm grip on his ass. God, but he loved those big, strong hands.

 

With a sudden, controlled movement Rush rolled them. Young laid on his back on Rush's bed, with the man between his legs. They didn't stop kissing, or touching. He was starting to feel his groin tighten, and he could feel Rush's own interested crotch too.

 

Young took Rush's t-shirts by the waist and rolled them up, undressing him from waist up, then he got hold of the scientist and rolled them again, so he would be on top, with his legs on both sides of Rush's body. He looked down before lowering his head and taking one of Rush's nipples on his mouth. The sound that came from him was glorious, if muffled.

 

“No... stop,” Rush whispered. “Not here,” he complained weakly.

 

“Where, then?” Young asked, a low grumble on his throat.

 

They were both panting by now. “Your... your quarters?” Young nodded. “I... I'll look for a sitter...”

 

Oh! Yes, the child. He almost forgot. He... felt his cheeks grow hot. He almost... with the child in the room.

 

“You... I mean... If you don't want to... I mean, I was kinda force-”

 

“Shut up, colonel. I'm just as horny as you, can't you really feel it?” Rush moved his hips in an obscene way that made Young very aware of what was his state. “I haven't done anything since... and I need some action once in a while.”

 

Oh!

 

OH!

 

Young felt like he couldn't wait. His quarters were too far. He took Rush's mouth again.

 

***

 

“Weeeeeird,” said Eli, looking at Chloe. She stared back.

 

“What's weird?”

 

“Rush coming to you at this hour to take care of his precious jewel? Weird.”

 

“How so? No, Eli, really, why do you think that?”

 

Eli shifted uncomfortably. He couldn't tell Chloe that he had seen that look in Rush's face before. And that was the _look_. He was pretty familiarised with that precise look. That was the one Rush had when he wanted to... Eli blushed.

 

“Eli?”

 

“He is going to have sex with someone,” he blunted, turning even redder. Something inside his guts got heavier. He knew the device was out by now, but the feeling, the memories were not. They all were inside him. He could fight against them, but right now he felt as if Rush was being 'unfair' with him, not coming to him to... _help_ , but going to another instead.

 

Now, he thought, he knew how Scott felt all the time.

 

“You... you mean...” Chloe chocked.

 

“I just know it. I don't know with whom.” Eli looked away.

 

“Oh, Eli,” Chloe said, standing up and going to hug him. “It upsets you.” Chloe was really surprised about this.

 

“Uh... well... it... it shouldn't but... I... I don't know.”

 

She hugged him again. “Don't worry. Sooner or latter it'll fade away.”

 

Eli snorted. “I don't think it's that easy.”

 

***

 

He knew. He knew! He was so stupid. And so blind. And stupid. Rush was right, he was a moron. If only he had listened to the rumours that ran up and down the ship; if only he had paid attention to his surroundings. He headed towards the quarters of the first of his 'enemies'. He had been so stupid all this time for trusting Col. Young! He didn't knock, he just hit the release of the door to find a scene that shattered his heart even further.

 

The colonel had his hands around Rush's waists, Rush's hands were on Young's hair. Their embrace was loose, and they were kissing. He saw a tongue sliding back to it's place before both men looked at him, surprised. Scott could smell sex on the air, the bed was undone and they looked too relaxed. They had just finished!!

 

Scott entered the room and closed the door, looking at them with hurt in his eyes. “How could you do this to me? I trusted you,” he muttered, voice shaking and not coming out all the way.

 

“Matthew...,” Young started.

 

“No! I don't want to hear you excuses.” He began to pace. Rush had crossed his arms before him and was eyeing him as if he was looking at a sulking kid. “I trusted you, I told you about my fears and you were mocking me all the way. You sure had a laugh at my expenses.”

 

“No, Matt, that's not-”

 

“Stop! I can't believe anything that comes out of your-”

 

“Lad, stop.” With just those two words Scott stopped. Rush sighed. “Look, lad, I told you thousands times already, yes? And this has nothing to do with you, right? It's about my private life.”

 

Young's mouth fell open. He couldn't believe how Rush could be so cold towards Scott, who was so obviously suffering by their actions.

 

“I-” Scott began.

 

“No, lad. Nothing you can do now can change what I feel about you. So please, understand.”

 

“What can I do? I'll do whatever you ask me. If I have to change anything I'll do it.”

 

Rush closed his eyes, sighing louder. “It's not about that you do what I say, but that you start acting like a grown up and stop being a puppy, okay? But if you want to know, for starters, you could try and not forget where you leave your daughter or with whom.”

 

Rush was obviously still angry at him about that episode. Scott nodded. “To do that, I'll have to pass time with her again.”

 

“No unless you prove yourself worth the responsibility. And I won't acknowledge you that easily. You can start tomorrow, helping me give her breakfast.”

 

Scott nodded. His face was pale, and he had his hands fisted. “Why can't I touch you? Why can't _I_ kiss you?”

 

Rush raised his brows. “You think you deserve it?”

 

It was a low blow, but that one made the youngster retreat to his own quarters, where Rush would collect him in the morning to go with him to the mess hall, so he would start learning how to feed his daughter.

 

“Wow, that was... rather cold,” Young commented.

 

Rush snorted. “Don't make me start with you,” he said, almost playfully.

 

Young couldn't believe it. He had seen Rush being so freezing cold to Scott, and the next minute he was giving him a grin full of mischief.

 

“Don't you think you were too rash for him?”

 

“No. He needs to understand what I had tried to explain him all this time: I can't feel attracted to him in that way. It pains me, and he reminds me of Chloe most of the time. But you,” Rush glared at Young. “You shouldn't have come to me like that, if he was confiding in you about our not-relationship.”

 

Young shrugged. “Not the worst I have ever done. When I want something, if I can get it, I go for it regardless if someone else wants the same. Besides, that gave me some advantage.”

 

Rush stared at him, unimpressed. “And here I am, thinking I was the bad guy of the film.”

 

“You know what they say, everything counts on war and love.”

 

Rush laughed. “You are not in love with me, neither of you.” Then, he turned and left Young alone.

 

“Yeah... We are not supposed to fall in love with you,” he mumbled, frowning.

 

***

 

Telford came on board. It had been so long since he last came. He remembered Rush being opened, bleeding too much. And also remembered his kind-of confession. He looked around, spotting Rush immediately. He was holding the baby, while Lt. Scott approached a spoon half full of whatever thing they had come up with to feed her.

 

He also spotted Young, who was eyeing the scene too, and Eli, who looked so busy ignoring it. On another part of the mess hall, were Lt. James and Wray, giving their own children the same gruel. He headed towards Young, nodding at him and smiling.

 

How he hated Young at times like this. He liked him, they were friends, but right now Young could, if he so desired, held Rush and kiss him. He wasn't going to say it again ever. Just once was enough.

 

“How was your day?” he began, trying hard to ignore the ache on his chest, the longing. _Destiny_ and Rush. Two things that Everett got 'for free'. Two things that he desired most. He would never ever tell aloud again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Look** who has come baaaack. Loook who has come baaaack!! *Pets Telford's head* Good boy, good boy. I'm planning on things you could do next chapter. Let's see how that works.
> 
> I was thinking I might make Scott's kink come true... about him drinking Rush's milk... What do you think, reader? :) Should I? Or better not because that would be strange?
> 
> And... yess... Poor Eli is having trouble with his emotions... and... Young... and Scott... and Rush is just being a little bit of a b*stard, yes? xDDD
> 
> **Chapter 13** prev.: _(...)so I have decided to enjoy occasional sex with you in case you would like too. Young stared blankly at the note._


	13. In which a lullaby is sung

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Notes:** Well.. this is finally finished. xD It took me a while, uh? I want to apologise for the mistakes I surelly will have on this chapter regarding English. Also, I want to remind all of you, readers, that this is **OoC**.
> 
> To those who like this story, sorry for the delay. n.nU It wasn't on purpose. 
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> P.S.: Be careful, I think I wrote a bunch of stupid stuff in here. xD

**13\. In which a lullaby is sung**

 

“Well, Everett, how are things going?” Telford asked, after small talk about their lives dried off.

 

“As far as I know, the repair team is doing well, as scheduled. Two minor incidents, but nothing to worry about. Also, right before you came in, Desiree yelled 'papa' out loud making half of the crew go all 'aww'. I'm sure there must be some pictures in all those phones of her, and Eli is making a new documentary. He's called it 'Second Generation'. It's all about Desiree, Faith and Hope.”

 

“So, morale has sky-rocket, uh?” Telford nodded, looking towards Lt. James.

 

Young snickered.

 

“You could say that.”

 

“Well, I'll go a poke around for a while. See you on the debriefing.” Telford got up, and left. Young shook his head, a smile on his face.

 

While passing by where Rush and company were, Telford shot the man a glance. Rush looked back, briefly, and nodded almost imperceptibly. They would met latter and have a little private debriefing.

 

***

 

Scott didn't miss it, how colonel Telford, in the body of a crew member, looked at Rush. To him, it was like a threat. He knew Rush and Telford didn't get along, so it was suspicious to him. Then again, anyone who looked at Rush was suspicious to him after all that had happened. But Desiree's noises made him focus on her. Her blue eyes where truly beautiful. He tried to imagine her older. She would be stunning, for sure—maybe it was him, looking at her with fatherly eyes, but he didn't care—, since she had such great genes.

 

He held her. It was marvellous to be able to pass time with his daughter at last. Scott glanced at Rush sideways, to see if on his face there was any kind of indication that he was doing something wrong. Rush didn't seem annoyed or something, so he was doing it right. Lt. James came and sat with him and with one of the twins, TJ came after her with the other. Camile was nowhere to be found.

 

Rush checked the hour.

 

“I have to go to work,” he said, motioning to get the baby from Scott's arms.

 

Instinctively, Scott tightened his hold on Desiree, not wanting to let her go. “Really?”

 

Rush sighed. “Lieutenant, please,” he said, with his arms extended.

 

“I... I could have her... for a little while,” Scott ventured, looking down at his daughter's eyes. She was chewing on her little fist.

 

“Are you out of your mind? Do you really believe I will leave her with _you_ of all people?”

 

It hurt. The way he said it hurt, but he was right there, though he could have said it with less venom on it.

 

“And if I'm with someone else?”

 

Rush gave him a doubtful look. “It depends on who you are talking about.”

 

“Me!” intervened Lt. James. “I will be with him and watch over the children.”

 

Rush nodded. “Okay, then.” He was still frowning, not quite convinced, but less alarmed. He trusted Lt. James better than him, and that was another thing that stung. But he was determined to get back all the “trust” that Rush had had once on him, and with that, maybe, stop any other to get near him. Because, deep inside of his heart, he was deadly sure, that Rush was his.

 

So he saw how the man walked away. He expected Rush to exit without looking back, but when he was near the jam of the door he stopped and looked back, slightly worries, towards Desiree, who was still in her dad's arms. That alone made his heart skip a bit. Because he _stopped_ , he _looked back_.

 

***

 

Camile was driving a car herself. She didn't need an airman to follow her, after all, she wasn't going anywhere too far away, just to her home. She was anxious. She hadn't visited since Vanessa had the twins. How would react Sharon? She must be furious with her. Already on the street of their home, she parked the car.

 

“What are you doing, Camile?” she whispered to herself with a sigh, bending over to rest her forehead on her hands. She gripped the wheel to give herself some kind of courage. She was shaking. “Why am I so afraid of this? She is my wife.”

 

Camile stayed there, with her head resting over her knuckles, gripping the wheel. She didn't know how much time passed by and she was so lost on her thoughts that when someone knocked on the window she got startled and jumped on the seat.

 

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you.” She recognised the voice. It was Sharon.

 

“Sharon,” she murmured, not believing it.

 

“Camile?”

 

“Sharon,” she got off the car but she didn't move closer to the woman.

 

“Come in.”

 

In the living room, Sharon served something to drink to Camile, and waited patiently, while Camile tried to decide what to do afterwards. Taking a long sip at her drink, she looked at her wife, feeling her whole body shaking.

  
“Sharon, I overhead something... incredible... I was warned not to say anything to anyone about it... But I think you should know.”

 

“Camile? What's wrong?” Sharon, for the first time in... what? Months? Years?, felt closer to her wife. She reached and squeezed her hand, giving her what she couldn't some months ago, when she learned that Camile would be a mother. She wanted to give Camile her support. To share with her whatever she was feeling, to help her.

 

“Sharon,” she said, finally, looking up to meet her eyes. “Please, what I'm about to tell you, can't leave your lips. You must not, absolutely **not** , repeat any word I'm about to share with you, to anyone, for whatever reason. Because... because it's still such a tiny possibility... that is...”

 

“I understand, Camile. Please, calm down, calm down. I won't tell anybody about this. I promise.”

 

Camile nodded, still trembling a little. “O-okay. I... I over heard our chief scientist talking with a colonel from Earth about the reality of managing to open the Stargate... dialling Earth.” She got quiet, sobbing or sighing, hiding her face on her palms. “They saw me and told me that it was the truth, we could manage this,” she added, from her hiding spot between her palms.

 

“You... that's...” Sharon covered her mouth with her hand, too shaken up to say anything.

 

***

 

“For fuck's sake, Rush!”

 

“I said no. And with that I truly mean **NO** , can't you understand something so simple?”

  
“But you have to-”

 

“No, I have not! I told you because I know you need to be one step ahead on everyone. I hoped you would leave after that. If I knew you would get this annoying I wouldn't have told you, _ever_.”

 

“Rush, Nick. Listen.” Telford grabbed Rush by his forearms.

  
“Let go of me!”

 

“Calm down and listen! You have to tell Everett. Dammit! You have to tell everyone!”

 

“Why should I? It's not even possible at the present. It'll take another year and a half to even start thinking on trying it!! It would only give false hope. And I have learnt about how people on-board see the fact that I, I, myself, not anybody else but _me_ , giving them false hopes. They'll surely chop me to pieces if I don't have anything to sustain this hypothesis! It wouldn't matter if it was anyone else, but it's me! They won't trust me and this will get paralysed, no-bloody-one will want to help in this matter, because they will think. This. Is. A. LIE.”

 

“How are you so sure? You saw Camile. You talked with her. She understood.”

 

“She is the exception, not the norm!”

 

Telford tightened his hold over Rush's forearms.

 

“You can't be sure. What about your team? What about-?”

 

“What about them? I have already talked with them, but they do not need to know too much. It would make them unfocused on more important matters at the moment.”

 

Telford sighed.

 

“And Everett? What about him? Won't you tell him?”

 

“No.” Rush looked away.

 

“Why not? He is the commander officer here, right? He is the captain of the ship. Aren't you two closer now?”

 

Rush snorted and shook his arms, trying to get Telford to release him.

 

“Young and I? Don't make me laugh.”

  
“You are not even a bit more friendly with each other after all what have happened?”

 

“Even if we were... _close_ before, that doesn't mean that we are still like that.”

 

They stood there for a moment of silence, Telford's hand still gripping Rush's forearms. The colonel tightened his grip, looking at the scientist in the eye. They were dangerously close and both had their teeth bared by now. It looked like a couple of wolves about to fight each other.

 

Rush looked briefly to their joined limbs. “Can't keep your hands to yourself anymore, can we?” He locked eyes with the other man's. “Can't help to lay your hands on me?” He approached Telford's face. “If that's so, you should have stayed... instead of crossing the 'Gate.” Rush looked briefly at the airman's lips, knowing this would annoy Telford at least a bit.

 

“Stop it!” demanded the colonel, tightening his grip even more.

 

“Then, release me.”

 

Telford let go and backed away several steps, palms up. “Sorry. But you should tell them.”

 

“I won't. And you won't either.”

 

“How can you be so sure?”

 

“Because it's more convenient like this right now. For you, and for all of us.”

 

Rush left the stance, rubbing at his forearms and mumbling what surely were all sort of insults directed at the man he was leaving behind.

 

***

 

Colonel Young arrived at his quarters after a long journey in which everyone ended up being even more tired. On of the reasons was that the children seemed to be ill, all three of them, and it didn't look like anything they did could soothe them, except when they were with Rush. Lt. Vanessa James had been following the man, pestering him, trying to know his magical touch. But he had only sighed and told her that she needed to stay more time with the twins and that he was busy.

 

He looked at his burn. That was another thing: some kind of malfunction happened and there was a small explosion that lead to a fire. They managed to control it, but some people got burnt. One of them was him. He burnt his hand when he tried to help extinguish the fire. TJ had bandaged it after putting some kind of cream to dull the pain.

 

Aside that, it had been a weird day referring to Rush. He had been overly friendly lately, so people started making jokes about how Rush only needed someone's unconditional love—meaning his daughter's, in this case—to stop being a bastard. He had bonded more with the crew. All this past week had been so strange, with David on board without making havoc, Rush being friendly and other minor stuff.

 

Another thing about Rush's _strange_ behaviour was that Scott got to be near him. The whole week Rush had been teaching Scott how to interact with their daughter. In a way, it was kind of endearing, plus he never knew that Rush could make such 'cute' faces before. Though whenever Rush realised he was being 'cute' to the outer world, he retreated to his shield.

 

Then, there was the thing with TJ. She had been talking 'secretly' with Varro lately. It was suspicious, but if it was some couple talking, then he had nothing to do with it. Though he wanted to know, because sometimes he noticed in her face shades of worries. And, being true to himself, he will always care for her. Always.

 

He pulled off his boots and took off his socks. Man, his feet hurt. He could do with a massage, but he was beaten up, so after stripping he went straight to bed. A sleepless dream was the most desirable, though one never knew and some restless nightmares could arise. But being as tired as he was it was unlikely. He had no strength even to think about it.

 

Finally under the blankets, he sighed in relief when his exhausted muscles stretched over the mattress. It was bliss. He closed his eyes, welcoming how his eyelids felt so heavy they ended up glued one another. He couldn't have opened them even if he wanted. Soon, he fell asleep.

 

He was awoken violently by an airman, shaking him, and talking to him frantically.

 

“... won't do anything! You have to make him change his mind! I know you can, c'mon, Everett, wake up!”

 

“Wha-? What's wrong, airman?”

 

“Jesus, Everett! It's me, David! We need to talk about Rush, _now_!”

 

“Okay, calm down and tell me what's going on?” Young said, standing up and collecting his clothes to dress up while talking.

 

“He has- he... That _bastard_ has discovered a way that could make it possible for you all to come back home.”

 

Young dropped his boot and stared blankly at Telford. “What!?”

 

“He is worried that if he tell you, no-body will believe him, or even if he starts working on solving the problem by himself others might hinder him or affect negatively to his work, making it impossible to...”

 

Telford continued talking. And yeah, he was right about one thing: Rush was a bastard. Why hasn't him told anyone besides Telford? Young wasn't listening to Telford now, blind rage on his eyes. _I am going to kill him!_

 

“... not the worst. But we discovered Camile eavesdropping. Rush asked her not to tell anybody but I thought she surely would tell you.”

 

Camile? She knew? A pang of pain crept through his chest. Betrayal, even. Young shook his head, trying to clear his mind. Rush was confiding on Telford, of all people, and even trusted Camile not to tell a soul but couldn't tell him? That... hurt.

 

For the following minutes he listened to Telford's complains. He nodded in agreement. Rush should share that with the rest of them. But somehow, he had a feeling Rush had tried to tell them something like that before, when he was still carrying the baby. What was it? Something about fixing key conduits to be able to send power to the gate, or something?

 

He was too tired, and still asleep, as his mind was way slower than it normally was.

 

“David, please, stop. We can talk this over tomorrow. You know today has been a hell of a day. We will have a debriefing tomorrow.”

 

“More like an interrogatory.” Telford didn't look that convinced, but he nodded. “You are right. You look like crap.”

 

After the colonel had left his quarters, Young sat on the bed, elbows resting on the knees, hiding his face in his hands, trying to calm down. Rush had discovered a way, but he didn't share it. “It's gotta be a hell of dangerous if he hasn't told anyone yet...” Young thought out loud. But, then again. How was it that Telford knew? How did that man managed to know about this? Was Telford stalking Rush? At the thought, Young smiled. That would be so amusing.

 

With a heavy sigh he got up. It was true what he told Telford, about having a meeting the following day, but he just needed to check it out. Like, right now. He had an uneasy feeling. Something was off. Young left his quarters, directing his footsteps towards Rush's.

 

***

 

Scott was feeling restless that night. Desiree was ill, and he couldn't be there for her. Rush said that he didn't need to be near her now, worst he got ill too. And he was part of the defence line of the ship, so the healthier he was, the better. When he told Rush that he was necessary too, and that they needed Rush to be healthy too, he dismissed his words with a hand and a snort.

 

“I won't get sick. I might not look like it, but I am strong against these kind of illnesses,” he had said.

 

Scott rolled over, still deep in thoughts. Another thing that was making it impossible for him to fall asleep was Rush himself. The man had been strangely friendly these past days. And so patient with him. Rush even let him go to his quarters to take Desiree with him.

 

On one of those occasions he had walked in without calling, just opening the door. What he saw got him frozen on his spot. Rush had yelled at him and he had gone out, closing the door behind him. Still in shock, he hadn't been able to move when Rush finally came out with the baby. She was hiccuping. As a result of Rush's yells, she had started crying, frightened.

 

Scott wasn't able to sleep because he had seen Rush breastfeeding Desiree.

 

He sighed, putting his hands on his face. “What the hell Matt?” He let his hands fall over the pillow at both sides of his head. To be honest with himself, he had had some kind of thoughts about that for a while now. Scott bit his lower lip, feeling his groin growing stiff. He had been wondering how would Rush's milk taste. He blushed. That thought alone was enough to make him excited. He wondered how would Rush react to him sucking. Most surely he would be killed after that. And lastly, he wondered if that would make Rush as horny as he got only with fantasizing about it.

 

His hand had gone down, his mind still thinking of Rush. He knew Rush's body. He could remember how he gasped when they laid in bed, together. He could remember it so vividly. A tiny part of him felt guilty and bewildered. He was so sure he had forgot about Rush, and now he was once again trapped inside anxiety and jealousy.

 

Scott cleaned his hand and changed into a new pair of underwear. He still felt bad, but more relaxed. His eyes closed and he had a dreamless sleep.

 

***

 

When he didn't find Rush in his quarters, Young felt uneasiness growing inside him. Where was he? Was Rush already plotting again? He had been _quiet_ for so many months—maybe a year even—, and now that his daughter was here and other people could take care of her, he was returning to his old habits, wasn't he? Young fisted his hands, he wasn't going to let it happen.

 

He went to the Apple Core to find no-one there. He went to the bridge, but Dr. Inman told him that Rush hadn't come since his shift ended. He went there to look for Eli. The boy was surely asleep now, but he didn't lose anything for checking. Eli didn't know anything either, but his face showed concern about Rush's whereabouts, though Young told him reassuring words. Still, he wasn't sure the young man bought them.

 

After looking for the man around half an hour more, Young decided to go back to sleep, after all, Rush didn't have anywhere to go to, unless it was inside the ship, and in the morning Young would have more people to start looking for him again. Still, he couldn't resist to take a detour back to his quarters, just in case.

 

He was walking, thinking about what to do with Telford before he went on his own hunting, when something caught his attention. There was a noise floating in the air. He came to a stop, trying to not make any sound at all, and listened. It looked like song. Like someone singing. Young tried to follow it, but he turned wrongly in some corners, so he started to worry that someone might stop singing. Something inside him told him that if he couldn't see who was the singer, he wouldn't be able to rest that night.

 

At last, he found it. It was in inhabited area, which surprised him. As he came closer to his objective, he realised these quarters were one of the newest ones they had been rehabilitating lately in case people wanted to move together and have more space of their own. One of the door was open and the song came floating out lazily, more like a mumble than a proper singing. He thought he knew the owner of that voice.

 

Young peeked in and even when he was expecting him to be there, it still surprised him to find Rush cuddling Faith—or Hope, who knew—while he was singing to the three of the children a song. Desiree was sitting, resting on the bed with a cushion at her back, her face a bit red. At her right, Hope was sleeping. Both of them had traces of tears on their faces. Faith stirred in Rush's arms, making a face of discomfort and then closing her eyes, looking like she was about to cry.

 

Rush kept on swinging, not stopping his lullaby. Young stood there, almost hidden on the door's jamb, mesmerized by the scene played before him. After what seemed to be a short time—it could have been just a couple of minutes or almost an hour—Rush, without stopping his song, lied Faith on the bed beside her sister. When Desiree saw her dad so near her, she raised her small arms. Rush took her now.

 

“Thank you so much,” a woman's voice whispered inside the room. Young got startled by it, since he hadn't been aware of any other person inside the room. Then, Lt. James came into his vision field. It looked like she had been there from the beginning.

 

“You are welcome,” Rush answered with a mumble. “But I suggest you to learn some songs too. I can't be coming here whenever you can't make them sleep.”

 

“I know. It's just... I couldn't make them stop, and Camile won't be back until tomorrow evening.”

 

Desiree whined. She was looking at the door, and Young could have sworn she was glaring at him for being there presenting such an intimate moment. He decided to step back, but he couldn't resist eavesdropping.

 

“Can I count on you next time, then?” Lt. James said with a hopeful tone in her voice.

 

“Didn't I just told you that you should learn to-” Rush sounded pissed off.

 

“I know, I know! You could teach me that song, then. I have never heard it before.”

 

Young held his breath. What would Rush do? Would he agree to help her? To teach her? He heard a heavy sigh and another of Desiree's whines—maybe she was tired and wanted to go to sleep, or maybe she couldn't sleep and wanted all the attention of her father on her and not on another person—before Rush answered.

 

“I suppose I can lend you my music player. I have the song there. But for now, I'll go back. This little girl needs to fall asleep already.”

 

“Yes, you are right. And thank you, again. You were of big help.”

 

“Don't mention it. And I'm being serious, don't tell a soul.”

 

James let out a small puff of laughter, muffled, surely by her hands. Then Rush exited the room, closing the door behind him, and he almost collided with Young, who was still there, too surprised to move.

 

“Jesus-!” Rush almost rose his voice, but he managed to control it. “Colonel!” The way Rush said it, it was as if he wanted to reprimand him, but it was still in a lower tone.

 

“I was looking for you, but I didn't want to interrupt,” Young said, in a low voice too, feeling too dumb to say anything else. He really needed to stop hallucinating. Desiree was NOT glaring at him.

 

“What is it?”

 

“It's nothing that can't wait until tomorrow,” he said, still looking at Desiree, who was still not-glaring at him from Rush's arms. He looked up, to the man's eyes. Rush had one of his brows up.

 

“Is it not?” Rush said, walking away.

 

“No. Anyway, it'll be better for us to have this conversation with Camile and David.”

 

Rush stopped. He didn't look at Young, so Young tried to look at him and what he saw was a man with wide eyes, pale face and a surprised look. “That prick...”

 

“He told me because he is concerned. And I think this discovery of yours deserves to be evaluated.” Young dared to put a hand on his shoulder. Rush didn't shake him, but he started walking again, if a bit more fast than before. Young tailed off, feeling uneasy about all of this.

 

When they arrived at Rush's quarters, Young didn't know if he was allowed inside or not, so he stood out of the room, feeling even stupider than before. Desiree's complains were starting to be loud, and Rush seemed a bit distressed—and maybe too distracted—to try and soothe her. But when Young was about to enter the room, Rush started singing to the child.

 

He didn't stop his song to tell Young to go away. He just looked up and pointed the door with his head. Young nodded and closed the door, staying in the hallway. He was feeling more tired than before, but he had something that no-body else had: he had seen Rush singing, and the man didn't do it so bad. He was good, in fact.

 

Maybe too good. Young frowned. Objectively thinking, Rush might be just average, but to Young it have all sounded like a choir of Seraphim. He leaned on the door. If he closed his eyes, and tried to not make any noise, he could hear Rush through the door.

 

“Drowning in a river... drowning... in a river of tears.”

 

Young snorted. Such a peaceful melody and the lyrics were so sad.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **More notes:** The so called "lullaby" is actually "River of Tears", by Eric Clapton. I really do think that the melody is quite calming and peaceful enough to make a child fall asleep.


	14. In which Fate is a cruel bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my GOSH! This is finished! OMG! Can't believe it!  
> I managed to get a beta for this last chapter, yay! So the English won't be so horrific as always :D

**14\. In which Fate is a cruel bitch**

 

Vanessa James looked at her phone again. It was true that the phone was useless here; to a degree. She could still listen to music, take pictures or make videos—though Eli keep telling them they just needed to know how to use a kino for that—, and last night she had used that phone to her advantage: she had recorded Dr. Nicho las Rush taking care of other human beings and even singing. She was sure Eli would do whatever she told him in exchange for that video to add it to his documentary. It was really priceless.

 

But her real intention was to use the recording in case her own attempts at calming down her daughters didn't work. They were still a bit feverish, but they looked better now. She checked the time. Camile was supposed to come back in half an hour from her visit to Earth.

 

“ _Lieutenant James, answer,_ ” Colonel Young called her from her radio.

 

“Lieutenant James here, sir.”

 

“ _Take your twins and meet me in the Stargate Room. Young out._ ”

 

“Yessir.” Without stopping half a second to think about why Young would want her and her daughters there, she took the two babies and went to the 'Gate room.

 

When she arrived, most of the people where already there, even Camile. Rush was beside Young, on the railing, and the rest were looking at them, nervously. When everyone was finally gathered there, Young cleared his throat—more to make sure they all paid attention than to really clear his throat.

 

“I've been told something really interesting by Doctor Rush that concerns us all,” he said, then motioned for Rush to start talking. Vanessa then noticed another person near them: the airman whose body Col. Telford was using.

 

“Yes, thanks. I have tried to convince colonel Young of the futility of this meeting. This is completely against my better judgement, but it seems he thinks it'll be better for you to know the ghost of an idea that-”

 

“Rush,” Young cut him. The rumour of laughter ran through the crowd.

 

Rush took a deep breath. “There might be a way to dial Earth... Safely.”

 

A deafening silence fell upon them. Nobody dared to move. They were all containing their breaths.

 

“Could you, _please_ , continue?” Telford intervened, impatiently.

 

“Yes. Well... It's not sure, it might not work. But I found, with the science team's help, a series of conduits that help powering up the Stargate when it's dialling or being dialled, that are damaged. If we were able to fix them, and if we were able to find a suitable core of energy to restore all the power in _Destiny_ , which means that we will have to fix that part too, there might be a slight possibility to dial Earth safely, without _Destiny_ exploding afterwards or our lives being in danger. That also means we need more raw material, more engineers, more people available to fix the conduits and run tests to make sure they can function correctly. It would be advisable to look further into _Destiny's_ storage rooms, we might find something useful for this or even more spare pieces...”

 

Rush continued his speech, he didn’t stop looking at them, now consulting his notepad and blabbering numbers endlessly. It was clear that he was trying to discourage them, because he was talking about 'years to come', and long periods of time before his theory could be proven, and then proven right. It didn't matter. What mattered for Vanessa was the words 'dial' and 'Earth' together with 'be able to'. So, they were going back. She could see her family, her people. She could get a vacation, she could take her children to a normal school and... she couldn't stop grinning.

 

Rush was still halfway through his explanations and in the middle of giving data when he was cut again with a loud roar of cheering. Vanessa couldn't help but to laugh when he looked up from his notepad, bewildered. But this commotion seemed to startle the twins, so she decided that she would go to Rush and hug him later, when the twins were asleep.

 

Camile looked at her, with tears in her eyes, a bright smile. She smiled back before returning to her quarters.

 

***

 

Rush paced in his room. Desiree was with Scott and he was thinking about all the stuff he was going to have to tell the science team, plus all the calculations with Chloe and Eli, plus all the other work they all had—like fixing parts of the ship that weren't habitable, and obtaining spare parts to fix the ship. Maybe if they found another seed ship—. They really had enough work already to add even more. It was going to end in disaster. Why did he follow what Young had told him? Why did he trust the man? Well, he was still alive and in one piece, so part of what Young had told him was true. Which did not mean that he was going to skin David after this stab in his back. He had clearly told the man to shut up, but he had to go running to Young and tell him.

 

“Hell!” Rush complained loudly before sitting down on his bed, hiding his face in his hands. Someone was knocking at his door. “Go away!” He wasn't really in the mood for anyone. The door opened anyway and he glared up, ready to say some biting remark in the hopes to be left alone.

 

It was Young. He closed the door and walked towards him, doing it all so fast Rush couldn't move before the man was over him, his hands gripping his t-shirt.

 

“Why didn't you tell me sooner!?”

 

Rush's eyes widened with surprise. “What are you-?”

 

“Why couldn't you trust me? Hell! Rush! I am here to work WITH you, why can't you work with me, too?”

 

Ah! Okay. So this was about cooperation. “Colonel, I wasn't sure about this at all. As I have already explained multiple times, this plan is not going to work unless-”

 

“Why did you tell David but not me?”

 

Or not... This seemed more about not telling him first. What was Young, a grade schooler? “Colonel, if we are going to talk at all, or if you even plan to let me talk at all, you should at least stop sitting on me.”

 

Young looked at him in silence for long seconds, then he nodded and got up. Rush was still awkwardly laying on his bed.

 

“You are one crazy bastard,” Rush said, sitting up.

 

“You are a lot of work,” Young retorted sitting on a nearby table.

 

“I didn't think this could work. It's just a wild guess. What if it fails? We will be endangering our lives, yet again. We don't need to endanger ourselves even more.”

 

“Rush! Fuck! Look, we need whatever possibility, how minimal it might be, to dial Earth on the table. We have to consider all of them. As soon as you thought about this, you should have told us. In a meeting.”

 

“Sure, you don't mean tell you beforehand and then comment it with Camile,” Rush snorted.

 

Young kept silent. He was staring at Rush, not moving at all. Then, he inhaled deeply. “Yes, I was hurt because you couldn't confide in me.”

 

Rush looked away, frowning before saying, “That doesn't make sense at all. Are you trying to say that you want me to report everything first to you? For whatever reason?”

 

“I don't know.”

 

“Then what!? I would have told you... eventually,” he lied.

 

Young rose his brows, looking at him disbelievingly. “Sure,” he said, after a short pause. “You would. Maybe when it was secure to start trying stuff... Let's say... around five years in the future? Yeah. Five years of silence.”

 

“Colonel, you sound so childish.”

 

“Rush, we are supposed to talk to each other about these things!”

 

“But it's not possible at the moment! I have... We have to make a lot of preparations, just to start the fixing part. We need materials that could have been floated out of the ship through the holes on the hull centuries ago! Our best shot could be encountering another seedship that has the raw material!”

 

Young looked at Rush, eyes big, face unreadable. “Why not try that?”

 

Rush frowned. “Try what?”

 

“The seed ship. We tried that before, but the Ursini were there and stopped the process. What if we try it again?”

 

“But...” Rush seemed to think about it; his lower lip trembling. “If we do that, we can't guarantee that we will be able to come back here.”

 

“So, some people will stay here, and when we find another seedship, we open the 'Gate again to get the people back, supplies, more scientists, more...”

 

Yes, that could work. “Meanwhile, we can start the fixing with the help of the Earth's supplies to make it possible for  _Destiny_ to dial more often and not be in need to find a seed ship.”

 

Rush stood up and practically ran to his door. Young followed him. Damn! The man was fast when he wanted.

 

Young found Rush in the Control Interface Room, pressing buttons frantically, then, he noted something in his notepad and ran away again. Young followed him, without questioning his moves. They arrived at the Bridge and Rush sat on the commanding chair, pressing buttons again, checking his notes.

 

“Em... What?” Eli asked, surprised by them, from his site.

 

“I don't know, we were talking about the seed ships and he suddenly ran here,” Young said, a bit out of breath. He needed to do more exercise.

 

“This,” Rush said, “is a rough map of where the seed ships that are still ahead of us are supposed to be.” Rush made a panel appear floating in the middle of the room with a lot of blinking dots. “We can't really change the course of _Destiny_ , but we can accommodate it to meet more seed ships than what was planned. It seems like the Ancients programmed the course in a way that would make _Destiny_ meet only half of the seed ships. They were made out like twins. Every two seed ships would share the information through a connection similar at how the stones works, which means that if we encountered one or the other wouldn't matter, since both could give _Destiny_ the same information, saving the time to stop with every one. But if we want to make that idea of yours work, Colonel, we will need all of them.”

 

Rush didn't look up from where he was pushing buttons and writing data. Young looked at Eli and Brody, who looked back at him. The three men had their brows up in surprise.

 

“What idea? What's going on?” Eli asked, feeling lost.

 

“I just said that we could try to use a seed ship to power the 'Gate to dial Earth, the rest is entirely his idea.”

 

“We will want the ship, right?” Rush said, looking up to stare at them. “We can open the 'Gate, but some of us will have to stay here so we will be able to open the 'Gate again with the next seed ship.”

 

“Oh... Oh!” Eli rose from his chair. “You guys! YOU GUYS!!!” He paced through the room. “You are incredible! Why didn't I think of that before? It's so clear now! We can open the 'Gate over and over and over and have more people and supplies and VACATION!” Eli yelled the last word. “Oh my gosh!! I'm going first! I want to be in the first trip to Earth. I need to see my mom!” he said before running out.

 

Rush and Brody watched him running away, with similar looks on their faces.

 

“I can stay here and go in the second trip,” Brody commented then.

 

Rush nodded. “We will need a minimum of twelve people,” he said, glancing briefly towards Young and then back to his console. “I will start with the new route for the ship. We need to see how many seed ships are at range and where are they before we start planning.”

 

“What about your other plan, Rush?”

 

Rush raised his brows. “Well, Mr. Brody, we can still continue with it, while we use the seed ships to get personnel.”

 

Brody nodded. “Sounds right to me.”

 

Young decided to leave the men to their consoles and when he walked out, Volker entered the Bridge.

 

“I don't mind staying in the first trip but I want to request that...”

 

He couldn't hear what Volker wanted, the door closed behind him. Young took a deep breath. The trip back home was near. He needed to inform Homeworld Command. When he arrived at the Stones' Room, the news of a closer date to dial to Earth had already arrived and the people he passed by stopped him to confirm it.

 

_I will need to ask for eight more people to stay back_ , he thought, counting him, Rush, Brody and Volker. They would need TJ to stand back, too, since this trip was only to go to Earth and not to receive people. They needed to plan the trips and who would come back, the materials they needed to fix the ship, personnel and supplies. He sighed.  _David is going to want in as soon as the chance to board_ Destiny _arises._

 

He wondered if he would be ordered to stand back and 'hand over' the ship to David. Or if they would let the scientists that already knew  _Destiny_ , come back or stay once the IOA could get their own people inside. He was sure they would need to be strict about how many of new scientists they allowed, since they would want to go poking around, and that was definitely dangerous. Maybe never let them be more than his people,  _Destiny's_ people. At this point, even Young knew more about the ship than any of the scientists who had been studying the Ancients and their technology for ages knew.

 

He put the stone on the plate and closed his eyes.

 

***

 

People were really busy in the following weeks, helping to look for spare pieces they could use to fix the ship with, keeping the space suits at their best or looking for more robots that could help with the repairs from outside the ship. The list of people who would stay was almost complete, lacking only two more people to close it. Of course, nobody really wanted to stay, since they knew they could come back later—or so hoped some of them—, so a visit to their families and a vacation from all of this on Earth was really tempting.

 

There were people who wanted to take the three children with them to Earth to have them checked out by a paediatric; Vanessa James and Camile Wray agreed to that, but there was one problem. Rush was not going to step out of the ship, and so his daughter. He had the certainty that the people on Earth would hold her hostage to make him come back to the planet. He wouldn't mind sending her with Lieutenant Scott, but he wouldn't risk her being separated from him just because someone had a grudge against him. Truth be told, that was his worst fear.

 

They had also agreed on whom could come from Earth to  _Destiny_ on the second trip. They would manage to get their own people back—those who wanted to come back at that point, that was it—, as well as some specialists on Ancient technology.

 

The excitement was floating around, morale couldn't be higher after this. Eli was one of the most contagious: he was humming and smiling all the time, even when he looked like shit, tired and in need for a shower. But he was happy. He was happy because he could finally go see his mom, after so long.

 

Another one was Camile. She couldn't hide her good mood. She couldn't stop thinking about her wife and how she could surprise Sharon. This time, the person coming out of the car would be her, in her own body. She also was giggling at times.

 

Chloe had decided to stay there until another mathematician who could help Rush with the calculations arrived. She missed her mom, but she could delay her visit a little more. Also, she knew once she was back, she would have trouble coming back; Chloe knew her mom and she was sure she wouldn't let her go back to  _Destiny_ , even if she was important now that she had all those numbers inside her head.

 

All the Lucian Alliance people who were still on-board were required in Homeworld Command; Varro knew that the chances of being allowed back on-board were minimal, but maybe with a little bit of help from the ship's crew, he and his men could come back again. To be honest, he was most comfortable far away, in a place he was sure other Lucians couldn't get to them. Or, at least, not yet. Who knew what would happen once the gate to  _Destiny_ was opened. Maybe some infiltrated could make their way in.

 

“We need to know that your people can assure us we will be protected against our... past companions,” he said to Young, as soon as the man came back from Earth.

 

“Yes. I have discussed your case too, Varro. You don't need to worry about that,” he said, clapping the man on the shoulder. “We have that covered up.”

 

Varro nodded and then left. Young sighed. He really needed a bit of sleep. He was wondering if he could get some before the next crisis started. When he arrived at his quarters he saw a small piece of paper on his desk. He took it and read.

 

_In the light of the past events that had occurred between us I think we have developed some kind of affinity or chemistry. I do believe you enjoy our encounters as much as I do, so I have decided to enjoy occasional sex with you, in case you would like, too._

_Atte. Dr. N. Rush_

 

Young stared blankly at the note. It was obvious it wasn't Rush who wrote it. It wasn't his hand writing. He had seen it thousands of times... Though, to be honest, he mostly knew his numbers and equations. And the 'R' in 'Rush' was similar to the one he had seen the mathematician write... But no! Rush would never waste paper for something such as this. He examined the note thoroughly, but couldn't really find any confirmation that this was, indeed, a prank, or written by Rush, for that matter.

 

Who was it who left it there?

 

“Better way is to ask the source itself,” he said out loud. He looked at his wristwatch. “Better later.”

 

He lay down on his bed and closed his eyes. God, he was tired. Though it could be a prank—and he was sure if it was a prank he only needed to ask David about who did it—, the prospect of Rush wanting to have a relationship with him was... good.

 

Okay, it was just based on sexual needs, but it still had the possibility of turning into something... deeper. He snorted, amused by his own thoughts.

 

***

 

Eli lay on his bed, looking at the ceiling. These past days, since when Young had talked about the possibility of dialling Earth, Eli had been working non-stop with the rest of the science team. And Rush. He worked with Rush. They were together in the same small place for long hours. Not that the bridge was that small, but Rush called for him pretty often to check on his calculations. If he wasn't around, Chloe was the one being called.

 

Eli had been near Rush for these past days, really close. He had Rush's odour plastered to his nose. It wasn't something uncomfortable. He liked it, how Rush's smelt, his scent. He hadn't had thoughts about how he needed to lick his skin. Not until that day. Rush had been talkative, too talkative. He paid extra attention to Volker and Brody and that kind of... annoyed Eli. So when he was called by Rush to his side to make a quick check-up he couldn't help but to stare at the man's neck.

 

The skin was shining, sweat making it gleam. He looked at the others before daring to stick out his tongue and lick it. Rush, startled, had inhaled sharply and jumped on his seat. Their eyes had met and Rush frowned. Then, Rush sent him to cool off. As if he needed to cool off. Well... He just hoped that none of the others noticed what he did. He crossed his fingers.

 

“I have to graduate from this feeling,” he mumbled. “This is stupid! I can't continue like this...” He rolled over. “When I get some fresh air, having mom's cooking for a while, this will stop,” he muttered to himself. “I just need to put some distance between us, and everything will return to normal. I can't keep thinking I... _like_ Rush.”

 

***

 

Lieutenant Matthew Scott was happy. He couldn't help the grin on his face—not that he wanted to, anyway—and so, he was smiling at everyone he passed on his way. He would have the chance to meet his son in person, to talk with Annie. He was so excited! He turned around a corner and stopped in his tracks, the smile frozen on his lips. Chloe did the same.

 

“Hi,” he greeted.

 

She looked at him, unimpressed. “Lieutenant.”

 

“You are not going to Earth.”

 

“No, not yet.”

 

Silence.

 

“Um... How are you doing? With all the work, I mean,” Scott asked. This was really awkward. They could talk about more things when he was in charge of his daughter, but when he wasn't, Chloe seemed... cold, towards him.

 

“Fine. We have advanced a lot in too little time, so Rush is paranoid thinking we skipped something important, which makes us to re-view what we already have, having things getting slower as a result then,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Truly paranoid. Also, when he is not with Des, he thinks you will get her killed, so he worries double and so, he needs to double check what he is doing. Maybe you could come visiting us with Des some time. That might calm him down, help him do his work without freaking out.”

 

Chloe was smiling fondly now. Scott smiled as a reflex.

 

“Sure. I mean, I can feel she misses him too when she is with me. I think she doesn't know yet that I'm her dad,” he commented, half laughing. Chloe giggled.

 

Yes. Things were starting to be normal again. He was trying to forget what he felt about Rush in these past months—was it a year now? It surely was more than a year—, and to reconciliate with Chloe. Maybe he couldn't have her back, nor have Rush, but he at least had Desiree, and Chloe seemed ready to try and be friendly again. Things looked better now.

 

***

 

Young entered one of the rooms reserved to research and found Rush there. He had the note crumpled in one of his pockets. Rush looked up from where he was working. By his looks Young could sense this was a stupid move. Rush wasn’t the one who had left that note in his quarters. Rush wouldn't use those words to ask.

 

He leaned on a table, nonchalantly. “So, how are things going?”

 

Rush shrugged. “Fine. We are advancing in our work, and the map says we will encounter one of the seed ships in around a week.”

 

Young nodded. “So, in a week we will be only twelve.”

 

Rush chuckled and went back to his work. “Yes, ten plus two,” he teased, peeking up.

 

Young smiled, fondly. He couldn't understand himself. Why was he so attached to Rush? Why now? It felt too sudden, almost forced. But the man knew how to move, and if he wasn't busy insulting you, he was pretty good for holding a conversation. He took one of the things that were over the table, examining it, bored(-ly).

 

“How are things going with... Matthew?”

 

Rush grimaced. “They are good. The lad realized at last that we cannot be...  _partners_ . And he seems to be more responsible towards Desiree, now.”

 

Young nodded. Rush kept putting pieces on the table, dismantling whatever device he found, maybe to find out how to turn it on, or off. “And with Eli?”

 

Rush's shoulders looked tense now. “I think he will benefit from his trip to Earth. Being here with me... He needs to go, be apart from me.”

 

“ _Fate_?” The damn device must be still confusing Math-Boy.

 

“Yes,” Rush nodded, looking now at Young. Then, to Young's surprise, he laughed a bit hysterical. “Well, Colonel, if you aren't holding _Fate_ in your hands,” words were teasing, but the tone was worried.

 

Young looked at his hands. If that thing he had in them was a  _Fate_ device he didn't want it so near himself. As a reflex he threw it away.

 

“NO!” Rush yelled, jumping to try and catch it before it hit the ground, but he wasn't fast enough. The device ignited itself and they were thrown backwards. When Rush was conscious of his surroundings again, he saw the colonel getting up unsteadily from the floor.

 

“Rush, are you ok?” asked Young.

 

“Yeah, yeah, I'm...,” but... he knows it. It's a familiar feeling. He whined, looking desperately towards Young. Each _Fate_ device had a different spawn of time in which the effects appeared, and, if Rush remembered correctly, this one's was pretty quick. “Fuck, shite, crap!”

 

“What... what's wrong?” asked Young, coming near him, taking his arm by the elbow as if he tried to help him to become steadier or... keep him in place, so he won't run away. Rush saw it in Young's eyes too.

 

They kissed ferociously. “This... time...” Rush said while both fought with their clothes. “I'm top... and I don't want you complaining.”

 

“As you wish,” said Young between kisses, getting Rush out of his t-shirts. “Wait, wait! Let's go to another place.”

 

Rush let out a complaint in the form of a moan. “Okay,” he agreed.

 

Half dressed, not being able to keep their hands to themselves—or their mouths—, they walked on deserted corridors. They really didn't care if they were seen, their minds were clouded with only one thought.

 

**The End.**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Notes** : If there's something you would want me to tell you about the story that didn't appear in the chapter, please, ask, I'll answer in your comments. :)


End file.
